The unvoiceable thoughts

Do you have thoughts that your are afraid to voice? Not because you are scared of getting judged or hurting someones feelings, but because you fear they could come true? I do. The most common one is just wanting a day by myself. I would love to have a day where I slept in, laid around, and did nothing. Followed up by some scrapbooking where no little guy shredded all of my paper and then a nice dinner with out some one climbing my chair and poking me. I would love to do this for just one day. Here is the problem I’m terrified that if I have thoughts like that something will then happen to my son and I will get my wish but it will be all my fault because I asked for him to be gone for just a day. It’s the same as when I think I don’t want him to grow up. But if I say that then will something happen and then he will never grow up and it will all be because I made a selfish comment and said I didn’t want him to get big. Am I crazy thinking these thoughts. Am I just being a doomsdayer (is that a real word?) I hate having these thoughts because it would be so nice to ask my husband for a break for a day. To bad I’m just to scared.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s