One more reason why I hate eggs

I am baby sitting my friends kids today. They arrived at 7:45 AM and will be staying until 3:00 PM. When they came I asked them what they wanted for breakfast. Knowing that her son is very very very VERY! particular I told him I would make whatever he wanted as long as I had it. He scans my pantry, takes a taste of my fruity cheerios and declares he would like EGGS AND TOAST. I said cool! How do you want your eggs. He informs me he likes them white on top with the yellow runny. I ask his sister and she says she would like scrambled please. They both decide they would also like bacon and toast with grape jelly. Here is how the rest of the conversation goes.

To him: How many eggs do you want?

Him: I would like three. But I want two first and then the third one after those. I would like one piece of bacon and two toasts.

To her: How many eggs do you want?

Her: I would like 8 eggs I’m very hungry

To her: How about we start with two and go from there?

Her: Okay but I love bacon so I want a lot!

To both: Okay I will make 4 bacons and you can each have two and I will make 4 toasts and you can each have two and share them how you like.

Them: Okay great.

Soooo. I cook his first egg and I flip it over so that both sides are cooked but it is still runny. He looks at it and says EWWWWWWW no! He likes his eggs shiny white with a big yellow bump (sunny side up). So I put the banned egg on a plate and put a new one in the plate. I cook it sunny side up and ask him to come look at it. He declares it looks delicious and can’t wait to eat it. I scramble her eggs, cook his second egg, put the four eggs total on two plates, with two bacons and two toasts and give them each their prefered flavor of milk.

He looks at the eggs he just declared delicious and says……This yolk looks kind of creepy I won’t eat them I want the other kind of egg.

So I take the two eggs put them back in the pan, flip em and he says no. I put them back and break the yolk he says no. He tells me he would really just like to have scrambled like his sister. Sooooo. I break two more eggs…if you are counting I have now made 7 eggs. I put them in the pan and scramble them and he says…

So I give him his other eggs. Dump the two scrambled ones on the plate with the first banished egg and the bread crust from his bread since he refused crust.

I ask my husband if he wants the eggs and he tells me he is full. Sooo I stare at them. The kids declare they are done eating. This is what I see…

Her plate. All eggs gone, 1 bacon gone and all four (two cut in half) pieces of toast still there with one bite out of two of them.

His plate. The yellow out of the eggs gone, but two pretty much full eggs remain, two pieces of toast (so he ate half of each) and both bacons.

If you are keeping track that means out of 7 eggs, a total of 3 where eaten. Out of 4 bacons, 1 was eaten. Out of 4 pieces of bread, 1 piece was eaten.

There are also two full glasses of milk on my table!

Did I mention I am low on money and the idea of wasting that much food really, really, really PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF!

By the way, I made Brandon a full piece of toast….AND HE ATE THE WHOLE THING!

4 thoughts on “One more reason why I hate eggs

  1. OMG! The things that I have to look forward too when I am a mom… Maybe I will just stick to Golden Retrievers instead of actual children. They eat EVERYTHING you put in front of them, regardless of what it is!!


  2. I think that little boy would either have to eat the first thing given to him or starve… Perhaps in the future you can ask his mom to please feed him before he comes??? My mother would have never put up with that.


  3. You were definitely more patient than I ever would have been. What a pain in the ass. It is kinda funny though that you kept making more eggs..haha. You are such a softy and love to please. Thats what I love about you.


  4. I would have made that kid eat the first eggs!! Or like Meg said tell him to starve…you eat what is given to you and you are grateful little brat!! On another note…where did you find that color purple for your blog??? That was the color I was looking for for my text so that it was purple and green but all the ones I kept getting were too dark!


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