*Yes I know, same jeans both weeks, but I’m not feelin like buying new clothes till I lose and keep a lot more weight off. Sooo, these are my smallest jeans right now, so they get worn the most often. So, unless your buying me new jeans, don’t laugh at me for wearing the same ones all the time. Got It!
I was giving Brandon a bath today and all the sudden he got this funny look on his face like he was about to take a dump in the tub. Up to now we have been very lucky not to encounter any floating logs or COWS as Jenny McCarthy’s son put it. Luckily there was no poopoo but it reminded me of Brandon’s first or second bath. We had just finished and pulled him out. We wrapped him up in his little towel that used to wrap around him 43 times and now, barely wraps around once and leaves his little feet dangling out. Anyway I got him all swaddled in his little hoodie towel when SPLOOOSH SPWIKWAT BOOOOOM. I look down and his little cream colored towel was MUSTARD YELLOW! Rob and I just looked at each other. We didn’t know what to do. We were novices at this parenting thing. What do we do? Do we re-bathe him, or baby wipe him or…stand there and look like dumb asses? We chose to stand there looking like idiots and then we wiped him down with the towel and then baby wiped him. The whole situation was pretty funny. It was like he purposely held it all in just to mess with us. It was as if he was letting us know from that point on that he was running the show. Ahhh my little boy.
Right now, he is sitting her taking a bite out of a Cheeto and then giving me the other half. It is so cute.
I stumbled across this blog New Years Day. I found it on Amalahs website. You must read this. With about 34 boxes of tissue. There is an order in which to read and follow this story as not to ruin the surprise. Emery, if you haven’t read this yet, you must, because I think you will fall in love with Karla like me.
Start here, http://babycadeau.blogspot.com/
Then, watch this
I will wait while you get the tissues.
Read that post. After you have read that and watched, Click here this will take you to the beginning of the archives in Karlas new blog. You have to read it from start to finish to appreciate the beauty of it all. It is, the most amazing thing I’ve ever read. I’ve never found a couple more strong and courageous as these two. They showed me more about who I am inside and who I hope to be, then I could ever imagine. Read it. I read the entire thing in one day and haven’t been able to stop since. This is the most inspiring story ever. And it does have a happy ending, so keep that in mind while you are cursing me through blinding tears OKAY!
Now, go read it. Right away.
I don’t like 3:40 AM. I hate seeing this time on the clock. I don’t understand why my son has decided to start waking up this early but my eyes and my head aren’t very impressed. How on earth do I get this kid to go back to sleeping until 430 or 5:00 AM?
At what point will I learn that no matter how good it feels to shove a Qtip allllll the way down in my ear and swirl it around to itch in there, that the next day my ears are going to hurt really really bad? I mean really, I do this shit at least once a week. And then, when they hurt I keep sticking my fingers in them and wiggling them around and guess what?
THAT DOESN’T MAKE THEM FEEL ANY BETTER. Someone needs to confiscate my Qtip supply. Although, that wouldn’t really help because I also love sticking paper clips in my ears. And, you can’t hide all the paper clips in the world.
My next letter to my son will go something like this.
I realize that some day, with all the advances in education you will probably be smarter then me. But, really son, right now, while you are a little baby, can you at least let mom think she is smarter then you. You don’t have to show me all the time that you can outsmart me. I know that you can reach the counter, you don’t have to pull out the drawers and climb them to show me. You don’t have to run to daddy when mom says no, to show me that you can have anything you want. You don’t have to remove your DVD, put it back in, push power, push play and start your movie over just to show me that you can do it. You don’t have to plug and unplug my computer 43 times a day, I know how to do it just fine. It really is okay for my keyboard at work to stay plugged in. I know you like to show me that you can unplug it but really, I remember that from the last 33 times you did it. Also I am very proud that you can open doors now, but you don’t have to show me that while I’m butt naked in the dressing room, I don’t think the people at Old Navy wanted to see my jigglies 4 times in one day. I get that you can maneuver out of anything, but JUST ONCE, can you please please, stay seated in the shopping cart? Although using the self check thingy at the grocery store has proved quite challenging for me, I don’t need you to jump into the cart and start launching yogurt and soup at me and the scanner to show us you know how to do it. I am proud that you can push stuff around and use it as a stool but please please stop pushing your stool next to my desk so you can climb up and take my pens, they are very happy in their pen holder. I am very glad you know how to feed yourself, but mom is very capable of feeding herself and I really don’t need help shoving macaronis and cheetos in my mouth. Also I know how to drink from a cup so please stop shoving your sippy straw cup in my mouth, it makes me feel like I’m messy. I realize I spill most stuff on me, but I don’t need you to point that out by offering your straw to me. I am very proud that you know how to open drawers, even the child proof ones. You don’t have to remind me you know how to do this by getting in the drawer and getting out the bag of very very expensive dog treats and feeding the whole bag to the dogs while no one is looking. I also know you can open cabinet doors very well so you can stop hiding your milk in my pots and pans to remind me that you know how to do that. I am very proud that you know to put the toilet paper in the toilet but you don’t have to illustrate this point by putting the entire roll in there and then smooshing it down with the plunger. I know that you can get your own milk from the fridge, and get your own cheetos, and you can do everything on your own, but maybe sometimes you can let mom do some stuff for you so she still feels a little needed. In fact, I would be perfectly fine if you would please put on your footie pajamas, and come fall asleep on my chest so I can pretend just for a day that you are still my little baby and not my big boy.
First I would like to take a second to thank Emery for passing her stuffy, sneezy, coughy thing over to me. I know she secretly embedded the virus in her blog and thats how I got it! I’m at work today and this is how I am supposed to answer the phone:
Good morning Weakland’s Heating & Air Condtioning Shannon Speaking.
Here is what I am saying:
Dood Borning WEkalkdaf Hetting & aaachoooo Conditioning Sharon smeekang
Sigh. If I never see another tissue I wouldn’t mind…Cept actually I’m out of tissue which means I’m now wiping mine and Brandons boogers on my shirt.
You are walking around your house with a tissue half stuffed up one side of your nose and half dangling out because its running so much. I toyed with the idea of giving ya’ll a picture…but I would lost all credibility if I did that. So, for now you just get to make your own visual of how silly I look with my tissue dangling from my nose.
I knew when I had a boy there would be certain milestones that came with that.
Climbing things Check
Loud farts Check
Shooting diaper poops Check check
Tasting Dog bones Check
Also..throwing up dog bones..check check
Right on schedule