That did not just happen and when will I learn

When will I learn not to let Brandon run around before a shower with out his diaper.

First he was standing by the front door looking outside and he pooped twice

then he ran to me and he pooped once,

sooooo being a genius I picked him up and tried to run him outside and he pooped midrun,

WHICH! I stepped in, causing poop to squish out the top of my toes.

I think I finally discovered my first craving

BANANA! Me craving banana is like most women craving pickles. Its odd for them. You see, I will tolerate a normal banana sometimes, when I’m feeling healthy but that is about it. With the exception of runts and laffy taffy I don’t like anything banana “flavored”. I don’t like banana breads, hate banana in smoothies and can’t stand banana in juices. Strawberry orange banana, puuuulease. Eww. That is why it strikes me odd that I have been craving chocolate banana milkshakes (I prefer vanilla shakes with chocolate syrup or vanilla shakes with chocolate syrup and peanut butter.) I find it even more odd that I suddenly enjoy banana scones and possibly think I might even like a slice of banana bread. I find it amusing that I am craving something I usually would rather not have. I have been enjoying yogurt with banana flavor and banana flavor juice and so on. It is all so odd. So, I guess I finally discovered my first real/odd craving!

Jobby job job

This is going to be one of those rambling kind of posts that sort of goes no where, but really for reals there is a point that I sort of want to make somewhere in here, I think, huh what was I saying? Hmmm!

I’ve been reading Gingers blogs lately because, well, I like to sit at home and make out with my lap top you know instead of teaching my kid important stuff like spanish and color coordinating his shoes to his onsie. Anyhoo she writes a lot about her job, the life she wishes she could leave and being a powerful corporate woman. Which, first of all Ginger could totally rock corporate bitch bossy woman because she totally has the shoe closet for that! She got me thinking about jobs though. I realized that both my cousin and I have kind of lucked out on our jobs. For the most part we both enjoy coming to work. We can take our lunches basically whenever we want. If she has to she can bring her daughter in for a few hours. We both get off early on fridays. We both always have food around or someone to bring us food, and its good food, donuts, muffins, pizza, beer, you name it we can have it. There is always some fun juicy gossip to keep us laughing and realizing how much better our life is at that moment. Not to mention Lisa’s work is always looking for a reason to get drunk, no, really, ground hog day, maple syrup day, Tuesday, yesterday, what ever it is they find a reason for a party and a bbq. My work, well, I am pretty sure my employees all have an intravenous tube in them feeding them beer, so its a party here also.

The flip side is, neither of our jobs are the kind that will find us being corporate high powered anything. We aren’t required to dress pretty, hell today I’m wearing sweats, a tank top and four inches of arm pit hair. So for a split second I got to thinking, hmmm would I ever want that? Both Ginger and Katie have these jobs that can lead to future BIG jobs. Shit, Katie is already bossing around people 10 years her senior, just because she did that whole “graduate from college thing!” Wait, so did Ginger. I’m sensing a theme here. Whatever smarty Mcsmarties! I thought of how fun that would be to walk around in pointy high heals and fabulous slacks and what not. Then I though about how much I love being with my son. I suddenly realized in this day in age it is almost an either or situation. I know a lot of people have fancy jobs and kids, but I’m willing to bet they can’t just drop everything for a day at the park because it is sunny out. Or they can’t make every soccer game or school play. I thought about that and I realized that I would have totally beat my moms ass if she missed my stuff. I know, that if I was raised that way from day one it would be normal, but I would never want my son to live that sort of normal.

I gave this a lot of thought and I realized, I may never have a shit ton of money but I will be available to give my kid soooo much love he won’t even miss all the money, besides, isn’t that what grandparents are for? I think a part of me knew when I was going to college that I didn’t really want to be there. I finally realized that while on paper I might look fabulous because I had some super degree, there is a huge difference between paper and real life. There is this guy in Reno, he owns the company where my husband works. He is never home. Monday-Sunday he is at work. He has three sons and I honestly feel bad for them and especially his poor wife. I look at my own parents. They make great money, but I can’t remember the last time they stopped and took time for them. Wait yes I can, almost four years ago when they went to Hawaii, which was the first trip they took in ten years. I thought, damn that sucks. I only got to go to Disneyland once in my life because my parents where to busy. Hmmm, that sucks. I realize now, that maybe I won’t be able to stay in the best hotels or buy the fanciest suveniers but for the most part, I can take off any weekend I want with my kids and go anywhere. And, really I can take off any week I want and go dick around in Hawaii, or Disneyland, or Yosemite or anything. I realize now, in the long run I would much rather have this amazing rich family life then a rich bank account. I want to see every single baseball game or soccer game or ballet recitals or whatever.

Now on the flip side I would never be a stay at home mom either. No offense to stay at home moms, but really I would get bored. I couldn’t even stay at home for two weeks on maternity leave before I found myself coming to work, going to the mall, coming to work and so on. I can’t be bored. I am not one of those people who can spend a whole day doing nothing. I have to do something. Go to the store, the carwash, the park the mall, the gas station. ANYTHING! Also, I don’t ever want my son to have some sort of scewed image that women are supposed to stay home. My entire life I will never forget this kid I went to school with my whole life (Ginger he is the guy you made out with at my party at the hilton….you know who I’m talking about). Anyway I can remember all the way back to freaking 4th grade when EVERY DAMN DAY he had fresh fucking baked cookies in his lunch. I was always amazed and he said, well my mom better do that, that is what women do, they stay home and cook my food and do my laundry. I’m ashamed to admit I later dated this guy, but don’t worry I totally cheated on him too! I look at my friend who stays home and is already having trouble with her son. He won’t do chores because she can do them. Once he even sat on the couch and said no mom you can do it I don’t feel like it. Sooo, since she had no choice she did it. I don’t care how much you say your son won’t turn out like that, I almost don’t know how you can avoid it. I also want my daughter (if I have one) to know that she can totally go get a job and not be tied down to some man ever.

I guess in the end, there really is no part of me that wants to strive for more in the work related area. I am so happy knowing that first I’m a mom then I’m an employee. However, even if you do decide to go corporate…really people FIND A JOB THAT SERVES YOU BEER AT YOUR DESK…DUH!

Amy got out easy

I read this post by Amy. I laughed at her. Then today, I got a chance to go to Walmart toddler free. This meant I could put stuff in my cart with out having it thrown back at me. Here is my list:
2 Loaves bread
Changing table pad and cover

Here is what I left with.
5 pack onsies
4 pairs baby shorts
Bathing suit
Bathing suit skirt
Bathing suit shorts
Crib sheet
String Cheese
Bean dip
Shoe laces
A toddler recliner chair
6 bags coffee (raspberry, chocolate, kaluah)
Coffee creamer
No changing table pad or cover
Baby wipes
Sippy cups
Total $250.00

Because Walmart didn’t have a changing table cover I had to go to Babies R Us. All I wanted was a pad and two covers. THATS IT! I left with:
1 Changing pad
2 covers
Bath measuring scoop cups
Bath finger paint/bubble bath
Baby face lotion
Giants outfit
Tiny sandals
Snack cups
5 containers of Gerber finger snack thingies
Training tooth brush and toothpaste
Floor cover for under high chair
Total $125.00

Amy I win….I got screwed!

Stupid stupid stupid little girl

Here is the exchange that took place between my hubby and I last night:

Hubby: So what bothered you so much about seeing your ex at that last game
Shannon: He winked at me
Hubby: So
Shannon: Soooo, he knows that winking is special to me we used to wink in public to say I love you
Shannon: shit
**Enter stage left Giant fan, enter stage right Big pile of shit…begin scene titled SHIT HITTING THE FAN

Hubby: Soooo, the thing we do in public to say I love you is the thing you used to do with another guy
Shannon: Ummmmmm
Hubby: Wow
Shannon: Ummmm Well I forgot we did that until I saw him again
Hubby: Bullshit shannon you remember what color the first pair of underwear you owned where, you didn’t forget
Shannon: Shit
Hubby: This is funny, you know we aren’t doing that anymore right
Shannon: But…why, its sweet
Hubby: Oh okay dear, I used to totally bring rocks to all my ex girlfriends, hope you don’t mind that I do it with you now
Shannon: Ummm I wouldn’t care
Hubby: Bullshit you would throw all the rocks I brought you away and you know it
Shannon: So if I wink at you now what are you going to do
Hubby: Ask if you need some eye drops
Shannon: Gee, thats not nice
Hubby: Whatever, you sooo don’t get to make me feel bad for this
Shannon: But, I forgot
Hubby: Liar
Shannon: I know
Hubby: This is one of the most awesome moments for me, I love when you fuck up
Shannon: Yeah, this was one of those times I was supposed to think before I speak

I’m stupid!