A how to guide to parenting, part 2

HOW TO CREATE A SLIP AND SLIDE IN A PINCH

Tools needed:
1- Tile entryway (linoleum might also work)
1- Toddler

Step one: Leave toddler unattended for about 43 seconds (or long enough for mom to go pee with the door closed allll by herself)

Step two: Come back to find toddler splashing in water on your tile floor

Step three: Watch as toddler backs away about 15 feet and runs full speed toward water puddle

Step four: Realize, now that it is too late that,
A: Toddler is not wearing a diaper
B: Puddle of water is actually quite yellow and looks like pee

Step five: As you try and stop it and realize what is about to happen, watch as toddler gleefully throws himself onto his belly and slides across the tile floor in his pee

Step six: Stand there sort of dumbfounded as he splashes and slides and wiggles in pee

Step seven: Realize holy shit my child is playing in pee and stick him in sink to rinse

—————————————————————————————————————–

Step eight: Realize that now for the rest of his life you are going to keep an eye on him, because why would he come to you and say “potty” when he can easily go create a slip and slide on the floor (which he did again 20 minutes later)?

2 thoughts on “A how to guide to parenting, part 2

  1. Your child is hilarious…I think that if you start sending these videos into America\’s Funniest Home Videos you have got yourself a winner. He is just on the go all the time and seriously, the stories you have about him are enough to crack anybody reading them up!!

    Like

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