Diaper bag tales

I’m in the market for a new diaper bag. I’ve had a few. I’ve had the Diaper Dude (non functional, cramped, no room, awful), and some other jumbo thing that was just plain to big. This time around I’m looking at this by 2 Red Hens

I like this for a few reasons. Its large, it does not zip close, so there is no zipper to get in your way or hinder reaching in and digging around, and it has a big wide gaping opening that you can clearly see into. This brand also sells smaller bags that you can put medicines and misc items in while still being cute…they are called Thighs and Legs. When looking for diaper bags I suggest you look for the following

  • Big openings like this one. Click on it and click on the view looking down LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT YOU CAN CRAM IN THERE AND SEE…LIKE REALLY SEE! I also love this bag because it comes with the extra bags for medicines and other things so they are easy to grab. Notice also the top doesn’t zip closed so you can see all the way in, unlike this one notice you can’t see what is on the ends of the bag because the damn zipper is in the way.
  • Sturdy washable fabric, straps and pockets. So many bags break after a few weeks.
  • Space. I have one diaper bag that after I put everything in it, it wouldn’t close and it was all piling out, not to mention I couldn’t see what was where.
  • Don’t be fooled by TONS OF POCKETS. So many pockets end up useless. Pockets labeled for wipes usually only fit the teeny mini pack of wipes…and when your a new mom and you kid does 4 turbo shits in one trip your going to need the jumbo pack of wipes not that silly little travel plastic pack. The pockets for diapers…yeah those hold about 4 diapers. I went through about 5 on a trip around town during the day and I didn’t remember to bring the bag in every night and restock it, I was shit out of luck at the end of the night. Is there one outside pocket that you can throw your keys, wallet and phone into? Don’t be fooled by cute inner pockets, I don’t know anyone who really wants to dig and search through the inside of the bag just to locate the damn pocket.

Some packing advice. Things you need for a newborn!

  • About 3 onsies, if you don’t believe me, believe my son who had to ride home in nothing but a coat one day because he spit all over his clothes and shit on his spare onsie and had nothing left to put on.
  • 2 pairs of cheap cotton pants…shit leaks out of diapers and onsies, your kid will crap on their pants and spit on them, BE PREPARED!
  • A good size bag of wipes
  • At least 6 diapers
  • 2-3 burp clothes
  • A blanket (spare one)
  • 2-3 cloth diapers, (these are the best for wiping, cleaning, rolling up for a neck roll and so on…they are cheap and come in bulk, they also fit well on changing tables if there is no pad handy, shut up and pack them)
  • A few plastic bags or those bags they sell that are powder scented so you don’t leave a stank ass shitty diaper in someones trash and stink up their house
  • Socks. LOTS OF SOCKS that match. If you can make it through a trip to the store and keep both socks on your kid you deserve a medal.
  • A hat
  • A small light jacket
  • Alcohol wipes for the belly button
  • Gauze and vasaline if you have a little boy with a circumcision
  • A medicine kit, with clippers, nose sucker, medicine dropper and thermometer
  • Some kind of baby wash and lotion, for emergency poop situations (I like to whored all of the free baby samples they gave me of lotion, rash cream and wash for the diaper bag they are the perfect size)
  • Rash cream
  • Spare binky (if you use them)
  • Small toy
  • Bottles
  • Bottle lines
  • Bottle water (for mixing formula)
  • Small plastic container with three servings of formula so you don’t have to lug that big ass formula container around.

This should get you pretty far. When your child starts eating the bag changes a little.

  • Single servings of rice cereal or oatmeal
  • 4 Take and Toss spoons
  • 2 small Take and Toss bowls (at restaurants you can ask for small bowls, just check to make sure they are clean)
  • Bottled water to mix oatmeal or rice cereal
  • 2-3 jars of food
  • Bibs (you can also buy a pretty large box of paper disposable bibs so you don’t have to carry home dirty bibs)
  • More socks
  • Sippy cups
  • Small containers or bags with snacks, like Gerber finger foods or Cheerios

I personally carry the bowls and spoons around just in case I go somewhere that fries in peanut oils, that way I know for sure none of his food is contaminated since he is very allergic.

Here is my final best advice for diaper bags. If you are registering for one at the store take it around the store and shove it full of stuff, places like Babies R Us don’t mind. Go grab a pack of rolled up onsies, a pack of wipes, a pack of socks and so on and cram it all in, see how it really works. Open it and see if you can easily see everything you have packed in it. Close it, see if it really closes. If there are side zipper pockets like this fill up those pockets and then see if you can still fit stuff inside and vice versa, I bet you can’t. Put objects in there like medicines and stuff and see if you can easily reach in and grab them. I can’t reach to the bottom of my Diaper Dude to save my life. Those insulated compartments are stupid. If you are bringing breast milk I suggest getting a small separate insulated bag that you can put freezer packs in and store your breast milk in these. Is it washable, and sturdy. Is it a design you will like over and over? THEN walk over the the stroller you are getting and open it, stick the bag in the bottom basket or hook it on, DOES THE BAG GO IN EASY WITH OUT SMOOSHING EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IN THERE? Finally, put the bag on all ways. Is it really comfortable? Can you lug it around a store with you forever or a market or on a walk or anywhere. Can you put it on while carrying a baby, try it out while carrying a stuffed animal or something.

3 thoughts on “Diaper bag tales

  1. Wow, you pack lots of stuff. My current diaper bag is itty bitty. I only bring 3 diapers, wipes, a sippy cup, crackers in a siplock bag, and one spare outfit. I suspect that I am going to have to invest in a bigger bag once baby # 2 arrives.

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