Practice makes perfect..or at least for a really awesome kisser

I remember when I was little, very little I became interested in kissing. Since I had no clue what I was doing I figured I should practice. I practiced kissing on all kinds of things. An orange, a doorknob, my hand, a stuffed animal, and so on. You know, as they say though practice makes perfect. After the fake practicing I moved on to the real practicing. I kissed sooooo many guys. In fact I’ve kissed so many guys I had to start a list to keep track of them. It was always amusing to me that kissing led people to believe I was skanky or slutty or whatever, but I knew the truth, they wished they could be as awesome as me and have as much fun as me. All that practice paid off though. One of my favorite memories of all time was the time someone asked if he could kiss me because he had heard kissing me was amazing. You have to also realize this was extra funny because I was stoned out of my mind at the time. This is how the night went.

I was out with these two guys, one lived down the street and one lived about a mile away and basically we were just driving around smoking a bowl and laughing and talking like friends do. One of the guys with me, had dated two of my friends, no wait, dated one and kissed the other. The other friend had kissed both those girls and later went on to date a friend of mine for a long time. In fact they both dated friends of mine for a long time.

Back to the story. The one who lived down street from me, Ben and I had sort of dated. It was kind of on the down low, sort of like we were trying it out before we told everyone. We decided after a few days that didn’t work and we stopped but stayed friends. So Ben and I are driving around and we pick up James. We drive up to this hill down the street from my parents house and park to smoke weed with out being a danger to the road. The two guys get out to pee and they get back in and James says, “Ben tells me you kiss better then Girl A and Girl B, I want to try it for myself and see.” I nearly fall over laughing because this is hilarious, plus I’m super high. So I ask him, “ummm so what do you want me to do, just lean over and kiss you for shits and giggles?” He says, “YUP!”

I smoke some more weed and think about this. I don’t like either of these guys this way but hey why not let him kiss me, it was a boost to my already high ego! So we kiss like 3 times really quick, with Ben watching in the back. Then they get out of the car to discuss it, not realizing all the windows are down. Ben says, “So?” James says, “dude, you were so right!” At this time I bust out laughing because two guys are really sitting outside discussing whether I kiss better then other girls. I was also secretly happy that I had won. Then Ben gets back in the car and decides he wants to try it again just to see if he remembered it right. So we kiss and he remembered it right. We continued getting high and forgot about it all.

This story always amuses me, mostly because I think all those girls who talked shit about me must not have been very good kissers because they didn’t practice or learn enough.

I remembered this story because a friend posted a picture of her son with a Giant Taz and I replied that looked like something I would have practiced kissing on.

Do you have stories about how you learned to kiss? Did you practice or just jump into it one day with the neighbor boy? Let me know how you learned to kiss!

4 thoughts on “Practice makes perfect..or at least for a really awesome kisser

  1. Eww.. If we are talking about the same James then I (unfortunately) kissed him. Yuck. He tried to suck my tongue out of my mouth and it REALLY FUCKING HURT!


  2. I never got any feedback on my kissing abilities. Maybe I suck at kissing. My makeout buddy once told his friends that I use too much tongue, but that didn\’t make sense because I never kissed him with tongue. Ever. Maybe he was disappointed that I didn\’t use tongue, but he wanted the \”guys\” to think he was getting more than he really was. Who knows. I guess if I ever run in to him at the grocery store, I can ask him.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s