He would like some fries and a shake with that

I’m not sure if you remember but wayyyy back when I had posted about how I finally for the love of Gosh got my son to drink plain milk. It was my crowning moment. However, months of my hard work was completely unraveled by spending two days with grandma at work.

Heres what happened! In my newest mission to fatten up my child I have been mixing Pediasure with milk. Pediasure is some expensive shit. Seriously for a six pack the cheapest I can find is $10.00 a pack. My son could go through at least four a day so you can see this was getting to be an expensive habit. I kept it up for a about 3 months after that, unless my mom went and bought it, I only gave him about one Pediasure a day. Well my mom being all spendy would go out and spend about 100.00 at a time and stock up our office with bottle after bottle of this stuff. Then I went onto bedrest and the days of my mom being able to go to the store fizzled into thin air. Needless to say if you go to my work right now you will be lucky to find milk and even luckier to find toilet paper. (Have I mentioned my mom turned on of her 5 rental properties into our office so we have a fully functional kitchen and two fully functional bathrooms on for stinky boys and one for rose ass smelling girls, also we have a living room and soo on and Brandon has a play room and a full backyard, yeah I know my job rocks). So! To go from having this fully stocked kitchen to barely remembering to have milk was becoming a problem for my mom. One day she went to fix Brandon his Pediasure and realized she was out.

(Is anyone else feeling like this is the longest post ever that is sooo not making a point? Me too but I promise I’m getting there soon, maybe, if I feel like it!)

This happened to be one of the days that she had milk in the shop and she had bananas, (she always has bananas to put in her weirdo protein vitamin shakes) so she decides she is going to create her own Pediasure. She puts milk, Vanilla Quik powder and a banana. Blends it all up and puts it in his cup declaring, LOOK BRANDON A SHAKE! After about two days of this my son came home and rebuffed every cup of milk now declaring SHAKE! SHAKE! SHAKE! If this program had those little smiley faces this is the point where I would stick in one of those extremely angry red faced little guys. This now means that he refuses to drink plain white milk again and will ONLY drink milk with the Goshdamn Quik powder in it. ANGER I TELL YOU!!

NOW!!!!! That I’ve been coming to work more, this has been allowing her to go dick around at the store more meaning our work fridge is now completely stocked. This means that she has been able to kick the fucking shakes up a notch. She now has 3 different flavors of ice cream in the Gosh damn freezer so now when she makes him a shake she is really making a fucking shake. (Bet you thought you were about to get a curse word free post from me, ha good fucking luck with that shit people). Now every day she makes him some flavor of ice cream with some extra Quik powder as a mix in and some fruit. This means that when I offer my son his milk with some regular old Strawberry Quik powder he looks at me like PUULLEEAASE mom you expect me to drink this shit..Pshaw as if. Don’t even get me started on the look he makes when I give him plain milk with nothing but plain milkness. ITs something like, hey mom FUCK YOU, fix this shit right bitch! Sigh!

6 thoughts on “He would like some fries and a shake with that

  1. I feel your pain – well, kind of. Porgie won\’t drink plain soymilk. She wants formula. So, for weeks I have been mixing 1/2 formula and 1/2 soymlk bottles. Everytime I try to up the soymilk, she flips out. She throws a little temper tantrum and absolutley refuses to drink her bottle. Very frustrating.


  2. Ugh how ANNOYING! UGH! Why are kids so damn finnicky?? WHY?Were WE that picky when WE were kids??I honestly can\’t remember…


  3. What is it with kids and that stuff? I swear they put crack in Pediasure. My son also loves Boost, Ensure, Carnation…any number of those chalky drinks that I can barely choke down. I would want to throttle grandma by now. \”Nonny\” here at our house, has a penchant for doing that kind of thing too.


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