As you all know in 17 short days I will be checking into the hospital to have a baby…
Sorry had to take a moment to fuuuuhreak out that I’m having a second child in 17 days. Any way I’m also participating in NABLOPOMO which means I’m supposed to post every day in November. Soooo since I don’t know if I will have wi-fi in the hospital room I’ve decided to open my blog up to guest bloggers for exactly 3 days. How it works is I will add your email to my guests on here and you will be able to sign in and blog on here for one of the three days. So I’m holding a contest and if anyone actually participates then the top three winners will get to post. I hesitate to open this up to Ginger, Lisa or Katie, because if they were smart they would use their guest post to tell really embarrassing stories of me! But alas I open it up to all of you.
So now the contest. Please submit to me your favorite, or funniest drunken story. What I mean is, tell me about the time you fell face first in the street or down the stairs (Lisa), or danced naked, or got a tattoo, or got married, or called your ex boyfriend crying. Anything. I just want to hear the funniest, saddest or most pathetic thing you ever did while drunk. The people who make me laugh the hardest will win.
As for the guest post you can post anything. Think of my blog as your blog, only on my blog you can cuss and talk a lot about sex and shit. Sooo, this could actually be a whole new adventure for some of you more demure bloggers out there, getting the chance to cuss and shout wildly online!
Please leave your story in a comment on this post!
CURRENT UNUSED PURSES
MY CURRENT COACH. I LOOOOVE THIS PURSE. IT IS THE FIRST DAMN PURSE THEY MADE WITH A FUCKING ACROSS THE BODY STRAP. I COMPLAINED TO THEM IN WRITING FOR YEARS FOR NOT HAVING ONE OF THESE. BEING A MOM I NEEDED A DAMN PURSE THAT WENT OVER MY BODY SO I COULD CARRY MY KID AND MY PURSE. I HAVE TINY SHOULDERS SO OTHER PURSES FALL OFF MY SHOULDER!
SEEEEEEE I HAVE A PROBLEM PEOPLE. AND THERE ARE ABOUT 3 MORE BAGS ON THE COACH SITE I AM CONVINCED I NEED!
There is something about having your birthday when you are 8.5 months pregnant that makes you feel really old. Not because you are about to be a parent but because your body truly feels like it is about to fail you. I can’t sleep, my back hurts, my knees hurt, my head hurts, my body is swollen, I’m drooling more then usual.
AND I’M ONLY 26
I can’t wait for 40!
I’ve hesitated to discuss this much as it seems like whenever people talk about stuff like this, or sleeping everything they said immediately turns to shit and they regret it.
Anyway you will all remember when I finally settled on a bag I stopped off at Target to purchase a couple goodies to go inside and one of them was this Spark by Skip Hop Changing Wallet.
You will remember I thought I was oh so clever because I could put Brandons diapers on one side, Codi’s on the other and squish the wipes between it then close it up and wala a great space saver in my diaper bag, and an easy way to grab out the diapers if I didn’t want to tote in the whole bag.
Well people big changes have happened!!!! I have made the decision (I am shaking with nervousness as I write this) to remove Brandon’s diapers from my diaper bag and instead place the wipes in the little netted area thus making a nice little changing station for Codi. Then if you remember I spoke about having one extra pocket left inside. WELL I decided to use that pocket to store undies for Brandon. YOU READ RIGHT THERE ARE NO DIAPERS FOR BRANDON IN MY DIAPER BAG! I was terrified to make this decision because to me it felt like I was just asking for him to become un=potty trained! So what I did was put extra undies in my bad and an extra pair of sweats for him in case we have an accident. There are actually two diapers for him behind the seat of my car in case of long trips or who knows what (like an emergency poop but no acceptable toilet around).
Now my little Skip hop bag is totally awesome and far more functional. I just hope that publishing that my two year old only wears a pull up at night to bed and not at any other time isn’t going to mean that he will suddenly start peeing all over himself and taking dumps on my carpet.
We had taken a bit of hiatus from potty training for a while when he was sick and my husband didn’t think he was old enough to train. But we went full blast again a couple weeks ago and so far so good. I hope it works out. We have had a few poopoo accidents but I fully think that is to be expected when he is so newly trained! So wish me luck!
I also wanted to take a second to direct you all to the Spark by Skip Hop brand at Target. The prices are ridiculously affordable and the quality is amazing.
They offer the changing wallet, which I think is genius and the diaper bag is also awesome and as far as I can see it is just as awesome as their overpriced Skip Hop bag on their website. You can buy both of these items for less then the price of a regular Skip Hop bag. So go now to Target, run, fon’t walk and pick one up now!
I was driving home today and it really pissed me off because I didn’t have my damn camera! I’m coming around the corner and I look at the stop sign and I see a little sign about 5×8 with an arrow on it. Thats it. Just an arrow. Then I drive a little further and there is another fucking arrow. What the fuck were these fucking arrows pointing at??? There was no sign that said garage sale or any kind of sale anywhere. I can’t handle it, because I drove the whole way on the road where the signs were and they lead to nothing. Why oh why do people fuck with me????
I took my son to the park today. We were having a great time. He was slowly making his way up the difficult stairs and climbing things to get to the big winding slide. He got to go down a few times and then suddenly about 7 little mean ass rug rats showed up. You know those kids, the ones that show up with no parents and no manners and you can tell from a mile away you are going to want to throw them down the slide.
So this one particular little rat starts climbing backwards up the slide. Which I realize is fine and normal. However when she is about 6 and my little 2 year old is trying to get down the slide IT IS FUCKING RUDE. So I nicely ask her to please stop climbing up the slide so other kids can come down. NOPE. Instead she kept doing it and then jumping over kids while they were coming down. This means my little guy was coming down and she was shoving past him and knocking him down. I asked her again to please stop because it wasn’t nice. She told me no. It became clear that what she was trying to do was hog the slide. If she didn’t get off the slide to use the stairs then no one else could use it. I was getting pissed and finally I told her if she didn’t stop I would go find her mom. She replied, “go ahead but you don’t know what she looks like!” I could have freaking killed her right then. I gave up and took Brandon to the smaller slide. She followed and proceeded to lay all the way across the top of the slide so no one at all could get up or down. I was fucking pissed. Suddenly one of her little hooligan friends shoved Brandon and the next thing I knew he had an owwy on his head and was crying. I finally just took him and left before I fucked up that little girls mom! I just don’t understand how some little kids can be raised so poorly to ignore what people older then them said. It is just wrong. How should I have handled that situation? Should I have found the mom, left earlier or just thrown the girl of the top of the play structure?
Edited to add: I should also add that this park was at the softball field where my husband was playing in a tournament. There were literally hundreds of people around all who could have been this child’s parent. However I was THE ONLY parent who was actually watching their child at the park. This means that actually locating the childs mom would have been near impossible!
Me: Brandon lets go wath daddy play softball
Brandon: No I cuddle mama
Me: Passes out and dies from cuteness