Brilliant things I’ve done this week

  • Filled my sons stocking with goodies, then hung it in plain view of said son
  • Filled stocking with unwrapped loose balloons and thought son would simply not touch them
  • Left extra pack of unwrapped bubbles on counter in plain view so son saw them before Christmas morning
  • Bought Christmas stocking that since songs in Tigger voice with easy to push button to turn it on
  • Decided that making macaroons at 9:30 at night wouldn’t be a problem, and that I would only eat one or two of the chocolate chips I was using to dunk them in.
  • Realized if I didn’t stop eating said chocolate chips I would be screwed because it is to late to go to the store to find more.
  • Listened to that weird Josh Groben guy on Rachael Ray (why would I torture myself, I hate Christmas music)
  • Thought that shooting at my two male cousins with two measly balls in the giant ball pit shooting range wouldn’t make me a target…tell that to my eye, my nose and my head (all got hit dead on by little nerf balls)
  • Thought my son wouldn’t see those marshmallows there on the top shelf of the pantry..I NEED MUSHMELLOWWWW MOMMY
  • Assumed my son wouldn’t poke holes in all his Christmas presents and try and unwrap them
  • Believed that Brandon really wouldn’t touch the ornaments on the tree just because I politely asked him not to
  • Assumed that when I was told I was ordering something that was 2 x 3 it would really be 4 x 5 and not show up to be the most miniature tiny Christmas present I ever saw…now having to reorder gifts and give them a few days late after handing out wee little “sample gift” and telling people they sent me samples to preview for approval!
  • Assumed I could really go Christmas shopping at the mall with out buying more crap for my kids
  • Assumed said crap would actually make it under the tree rather then having me open it and put the new shoes on their feet RIGHT THIS SECOND because dammit all to hell, new Van’s are to damn cute.
  • Assumed that I would get any sort of sleep in the next 5 years!
  • Assumed I would stop eating the fucking chocolate chips by the end of this post!
  • Assumed I wouldn’t wish I could stop typing so I could go get more goddamn chocolate chips

4 thoughts on “Brilliant things I’ve done this week

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