So tired…and so in love with my husband.

Last night was my company Christmas party. Instead of doing the normal thing this year, we went to Outback and then walked next door to the kids bowling place and inside super jungle gym thingy. It was so awesome. The kids played for hours and then we all bowled. We didn’t get home until after midnight and seriously people midnight is WAY! past my bed time.

Anyway more about last night. I bumped into two exes last night. One of them was with his girlfriend. The night started out good, while I wasn’t near he went over and said hi to my mom and gave her a hug. Then when I came back he got all attitudy because after years and years he still wants to hate me like a child. The situation was pretty awkward because for reasons unknown to me they chose to sit very close to where we had been sitting for some time now. Things seemed to be going okay until my mom started taking pictures of all of us. She took a picture of Codi and I, of Rob, of my uncle, of the kids in the giant jungle gym thingy and then she took a pic of my aunt and her daughter (they were sitting basically in front of the ex so if they hadn’t of been in the way the picture would have been of the ex and his girlfriend). About this time I noticed my ex in the background with his cellphone taking a pic of us. I knew he was up to no good, and since I knew my mom had a few drinks and was feeling frisky I shut my mouth. Then she took a picture of just my cousin and she looked up and saw him with the cell phone. Thinking things were okay since he had hugged her earlier she playfully flipped him off for the picture. He suddenly started shouting for her to grow up. Suddenly things escalated. My mom walked over there laughing and smiling to show him the pictures on her digital camera were actually all of family. He started shouting that he didn’t want to see her fucking camera and then he just blew up. Clearly even though he was there with kids and family near he was very drunk. He started telling my mom that her daughter (me) was a fucking bitch, that we were all trailer trash, that we were garbage, and on and on and on. I was just sitting there with Rob and my son in his Moby stunned. All I kept wondering was how on earth is this guy still so hung up on things so many years later. Then I looked over at Rob and in an instant I was flooded with happiness. Sometimes it takes a terrible thing to make you really appreciate the things in your life. All of the sudden I realized that I could have still been with that guy, that I could have been his girlfriend and I was so relieved I wasn’t. I found a new respect for Rob. I married this amazing guy who went to a kids place and went in the jungle gym and played with all the kids instead of just sitting there drinking and becoming a belligerent asshole. I realized that Rob has no enemies. The I can’t think of a single person he doesn’t like or that doesn’t like him. It takes a special person to say they have not one single enemy or person they dislike in the world. I realized that my husband would never never shout at an adult like my ex did. That he would NEVER call someone a fucking bitch in front of her children and that he would NEVER EVER behave that way in front of his own kids. He would never make a scene like that. I realized that he is friends with every one of his exes. In fact so am I. I realized that my husband is a man and not a child who is capable of growing up and moving on. As I sat there quietly with my husband just holding my hand, both of us watching the mess in front of us unfold, I was increasingly overwhelmed with love for him. I realized that I married someone I would never have to be embarrassed of. In that moment it reaffirmed everything that I knew on my wedding day. It reminded me that I married someone that I can’t wait to grow old with, I can’t wait to spend my whole life with him. I realized how much I learned from him. 6 years ago before meeting him, I would have gotten involved in last nights fight. But after knowing him, and seeing how he handles situations, and how he has RESPECT for people, I reacted differently. Instead of getting involved or letting it affect me at all, I simply sat there, kissed my son on the head and went about my night. We continued to have an amazing night, and for the first time in a lot of years I was able to walk away from the situation feeling like an adult, and feeling like the biggest person. I have to thank my husband for that. I have to thank him for making me stronger and better. I am so happy that I didn’t end up with that other guy. I realize now, that marrying him would have made me meaner, bitchier, and weaker. I think everything in life happens for a reason and I really think last night happened for a lot of reasons. It happened to open my eyes and make me fall in love with my husband all over, and it also confirmed some recent personal decisions I’ve made in my life.

I rarely get all sappy about Rob and I because that isn’t who I am. But there are times when even the most unmushy person has to really just stop and appreciate the person in her life. My husband is amazing. Every night, while I’m busy with Codi, he puts Brandon on the potty, puts him in his jammies, gets him ready for bed and puts him to sleep. Every single night since I’ve been pregnant when Brandon woke up in at 10pm 1am and 3am Rob gets up with him. He never complains, he just does it so I don’t have to. He straightens up the house all the time and does all the dishes. He folds my clothes if their in the dryer. But he does other things too. Tonight I needed parchment paper to finish some baking, and although he had just walked in the door from picking up Brandon, he turned around and went to the store, not because I asked him, but because he didn’t want me going out alone after dark. When we walk down the street he always walks on the side closer to the street to protect me. When I was in the hospital and I had just had Codi, they kept screwing up my food. Although Rob had already left so many times and it was so late at night and neither of us had any sleep, he left and went and got me dinner and never said a word about it. He puts lotion on my feet after every shower because he knows I HATE the feel of wet feet. He gives Brandon a bath or shower almost every time he needs one, and helps me with every one of Codi’s baths. Not because he has to but because he wants to. He makes me coffee in the morning if I’ve forgotten the night before. He lets me know what he is doing through out the day always. No matter how much it drives him nuts and he says I’m being like his mom, he still lets me know when he is off work, or at the store or going out, or on his way home. He lets me know because he know it keeps me from going crazy and he respects that.

There are other things I’ve learned from Rob. We don’t actually say I love you every day. When I met him I thought you had to always say it. Then one day he told me that for him, its not quantity its quality. For so many people saying I love you becomes simply routine. With us though its any thing but. He tells me he loves me at the most random times. In passing in the kitchen, cuddling on the couch, leaving for work, while we are folding clothes. Now, every single I love you I hear from him means a 1000 times more to me then hearing it every time we get off the phone, and every morning and every night, and every time we say good bye. However, Rob never leaves the house with out kissing me goodbye.

Rob knows I’m half (okay 2/3) crazy and he gets that. He understands it and leaves me to my crazy. When it happens he asks if I’m okay, what he can do and then he leaves it. He doesn’t push me, he doesn’t force me to get over it, he simply respects me. Then if he asks what I need and I tell him, he does it. If I want ramen he makes it, and he makes it with all 7 extra steps that I require. He knows I’m terrified of dogs and he will stand between me and any dog with out me even asking and if we are at someones house with a dog, he plays interference with out the people ever knowing that I was uncomfortable. When we go to dinner he knows I’m only drinking water and tea right now and not soda. He knows that I don’t like to eat at other peoples houses and he will always make excuses for me so I don’t have to. He knows I don’t like being hugged or touched, and if I’m to shy or nervous to tell people, he will do it for me, with out me even saying it. He can look at me in those moments and tell I’m not okay and he fixes it. When I get worried about my kids or freak out over bridges or ask him a hundred times if my son is okay while he watches him, he never says a word about it. He lets me freak out, knowing it makes me feel better and no matter how much it drives him crazy, he lets me be who I am.

I know most of this seems small or stupid, but to me, its huge. It’s huge to realize that if I hadn’t been careful, or someone higher wasn’t looking out for me, I could have married something awful as opposed to marrying someone amazing like I did. A lot of people would tell me that I should be aware of my husbands amazingness daily. But in reality the truth is, in every relationship, you sometimes tend to take things for granted. Rather then appreciate the little things you instead start to consider them normal requirements. I realized last night that I had fallen into that spot lately. I’ve been taking Rob for granted. I haven’t been stopping to appreciate him as much lately. Like I said last night happened for a reason. To wake my ass up and remind me of what I have. Remind me of how lucky I am. Because really, I am so very very lucky. I think so many people only wish they could have what I have. To be honest I wish everyone could have a spouse like I do. I know my husband reads my blog periodically now, but I don’t know if he’ll ever read this post. However, if he does, I hope he knows how much I love him, and I appreciate him every day. And now, well, rather then taking him for granted, I’m going to stop and smell his neck more often, and kiss him good night more, and really just appreciate how lucky he has made me.

So while last night may have seemed like a disaster to everyone else, to me, well it was a blessing in disguise.

I imagine this is how it would sound if I ever heard Emery cuss

You know, there are a lot of people in my life who don’t cuss, Emery, Jen, Shawna and so on. So when one of them cusses its funny. But, when one of them goes totally off the deep end and goes batshit crazy with cussing, well, it’s fucking hilarious. Go check out Shawna fall off the good girl bandwagon and have the worst case of potty fingers I’ve ever seen. She rivals me on this one folks!

We have a problem here

Codi LOVES to sleep on his stomach. This is a huge problem. He actually sleeps for over an hour this way. The problem though is that babies aren’t allowed to sleep on their bellies. Fuck fuck fuck. All I keep thinking is he’s going to die from sids or something and it will be all my fault because I let him sleep on his belly to relive the insane gas bubbles. Uggg I hate to wake a sleeping baby, what exactly do I do?


I was tagged by Max Mom so here you go

~ Start Copy ~

Rules :
1. Copy from “Start Copy” until “End of Copy”.
2. Before “End of Copy”, share your best memories of 2007 include your name and your URL blog.
3. Share this tag to your friends.

This year has been a great one!

2007 brought:

My sweet Codi! He was the very best part of all.

Brandon started talking in coherent sentences and also understanding what I said, this means it brought my son telling me he is so happy, he loves me, He loves baby brother and so on.

Me losing 34 lbs gaining 45 and so far losing 16 more. Uggg

A redisovered passion for riding my bike. I know this seems dumb but honestly finding something that helps me clear my head instantly was so necessary.

My husbands new job, meaning he was home during the day, and he is happy. I mean knowing that he is happy, wow that was one of the best things of all.

My new car. Yeah yeah material, but whatever.

My amazing new friendship with Jen. I am ever so thankful that her and I started yahooing that one faitful day. It was awesome and much needed, and even though she isn’t here it is so wonderful having someone who knows exactly how I feel 98% of the time. It’s 98% and not 100% because dude…she wears tapered jeans and I’ll never know how that feels!

More responsibility at work. I love this part. I love love love knowing that I’m needed at work.

My husbands new friends, friends that don’t do drugs, or drink excessively and who actually come over and hang out and keep their plans.

I tag Ginger, Jen, Lindz, Heidi

I Mae just love her

I just ran home real fast to grab my breast pump and I saw a little Fed Ex box on my porch. I opened it up and discovered that Mae had sent me the vegetarian sloppy joe mix that she had talked about a few months ago. She wrote in the card that she wasn’t sure it would still sound good to me since I wasn’t pregnant. I put it down got in my car and went back to work. I’m now happy to say that there is only 34 more minutes until I can go home make the entire can of sloppy joe mix and shovel the whole damn thing in my mouth right away. I have no intentions of sharing, or reading the calories I only intend to glutonly eat every bit of it as quick as possible.

Bet you forgot what they looked like

It’s all wet here in Reno today. Codi decided he better put on his wee little shoes to keep his feet from getting wet!
See my teensy tiny shoes

Brandon finally got to sport his rain coat and matching galoshes and seriously I’m overwhelmed with the cuteness of them

And the cuteness of this

He looks like he is sleeping but really he is preparing to wail!

Look you think I’m all quite and cute but I’m about to start screaming and making my bottom lip quiver so that mommy gets all sad and then picks me up and gives me lots of boobie!

Diseases of the mouth

I was over reading this blog where she often talks about the funny things she says. It reminded me of a time I made a total idiot out of myself. You know the one where you say something and you get that deadpan, how the hell do I respond to that look. Here is the conversation…its short and not sweet.

I was delivering some stuff to one of our vendors. The lady who worked there happened to be my moms friend from high school who had just moved back to town. It goes like this.

Girl: Wow it’s so nice to finally meet you, I’ve known your mom since high school so It’s great to meet you.

Super Smart Shannon: Yeah, high school well, that was a long time ago huh?

Girl: Dead stare

SSS: I mean, Umm I’m not saying your old, I mean you are, but I just meant that was a long time to still know each other, umm, uhh I have to go.

Girl: Dead stare

I’m such a dumb ass!