Because I’m married to a second grader

Rob: What do a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?

Me: Uhh they can both deliver you in 30 minutes or less

Rob: No, they can both smell it but aren’t allowed to eat it.

Me: Ewww

Rob: He he

Thanks babe, I could not have gone on in life with out you sharing that little gem with me!

Do any of you know any good jokes? If so let me hear em! The winner of the funniest joke will get a spotlight post on my blog!

24 thoughts on “Because I’m married to a second grader

  1. there once was a mother who woke up to no crying babies because her husband had gotten up with them, fed them and got them ready for a day out so that mommy could sleep in, get a pedicure, massage and go shopping. then she would enjoy a nice gourmet meal, some good wine and fabulous chocolate dessert. then she\’d take a nice bubble bath and go to bed….get it?that was the joke.

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  2. There was a lady who owned a parrot and the parrot spend her days on the balcony. However this parrot would curse out all the neighbors as they walked by the house. The lady was mortified and embarrassed by the parrot. SO she warned…Lady: Listen Lola, I\’m going to punish you for cursing at the neighbors.The parrot kept going and cursing at everyone on a daily basis. Finally the lady got fed up and chewed up some gum and stuck it on the parrot\’s tushy. Since the parrot could not relieve herself the parrot\’s belly got bigger and bigger.Lola: I promise not to say bad words anymore. Please take the gum out.Lady: No! I warned you. You are going to have to behave.Lola: Please! Please! I PROISE! I PROMISE!Finally after 3 days the lady gave up and removed the gum. The parrot was thrilled and she was let back out on the balcony just as a pregnant lady walked by and she said:Lola: Hey Lady tell you husband to remove the gum from your ass already!Hee! Hee! I heard it Spanish so I hope the translateion is still funny!

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  3. Um I think Cristina\’s joke should win…I laughed hysterically reading about the husband too funny!Here\’s a joke that Dave told me the other day that he was rather proud of…What did the egg say to the boiling water?No I can\’t get hard right now I just got laid!I too live with a second grader!

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  4. sarah: i don\’t get itcris: still laughing over this onecoffee slut: you are naughtypatty: so i had gum upmy butt thats why im fatangie: yes you are right dave is also 2laura: i love it, thats the kinda joke i can actually rememberlindz: YOU ARE HYSTERICAL!!!!!!! AND VERY BAD!

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  5. Here\’s the muffin joke courtesy of Maxim… this joke has been retold by my friends and I for ages and might only be funny because we first heard it when drinking and since think it\’s hysterical.There are these two muffins baking in the oven.One muffin says to the other muffin: \”Gob damn it\’s hot in here.\”The other muffin looks at the first muffin in shock and exclaims \”holy shit! It\’s a talking muffin!\”This one is all in the delivery, folks and yes, I know it\’s lame but that\’s what makes it so good.P.S. Love the egg joke.

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  6. joke number 2:A woman orders a chicken sandwhich and starts to choke.People are running frantically, trying to figure outwhat to do. Two homosexuals sitting in the corner wisperto each other and run in front of the choking lady. Onestrips out of his overalls, bends over butt naked in frontof his friend. His friend proceeds to lick the other\’s ass.Upon seeing this, the lady vomits forcing the lodged foodfrom her throat. After making sure the lady is OK, the twohomosexuals return to their food.One turns to the other and says,\”Wow, that hind-lick manuever really works!\”

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  7. I can NEVER remember a joke so I was waiting for Quentin to get home so he could tell me a few and I could post them on here.So he got home he told me a few, really DIRTY ones (he works in construction). And now I can not for the life of me remember them.I told him the parsley, the drug dealer one and Mather\’s joke and he laughed. I practiced really hard. I think there should be catorgories, like most creative and best dirty joke, most kid friendly etc. They are all so funny I don\’t know how you are going to pick a funniest.

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