Taking procautions (I say pro cuz I think it’s a positive thing, so I do realize the spelling error, mmmmkay)

I’ve been making efforts to become healthier lately. I found a picture of myself right after my wedding and I was astonished I looked that way. I mean, I knew I was fat but I think until now I didn’t know I looked like a walking Biggest Loser billboard. I find it funny how many people are probably walking around right now thinking, ehhh I’m heavy but I’m not that bad, I’m still kind of sexy. Then they lose about 20 pounds and then they say OOOOO now I get it, I was only a few pounds away from getting milked and renamed Bessy! At the same time I can’t believe how many skinny girls are out there who think they are fat (LH I’m looking at you). I just want to shake them and say hey jackass I’ll trade you for your size 4’s any day, really here, you can go ahead and have my SIZE 14’S jackass.

Okay not the point. The point was, since having kids, and becoming sober (yeah probably cut out about 94520498759890 calories just in liquor alone, wait I did the math just now and I saved 2,478 calories a day just by cutting out amaretto ) I’ve been making a real actual effort to get healthy. Not just skinny healthy but HEALTHY. You know, like granola cruncher kinda healthy. I’ve been trying to eat 3 meals a day and 3 snacks a day. I try and make sure one snack is fruit. I make sure to eat fruit with every breakfast and to eat at least two different vegetables a day. I try and cook most of what I eat and I try not to eat at restaurants or fast food places. I won’t say never because if I have one fast food meal in 3 months that isn’t bad. I try and keep my chocolate consumption to 15 bars a day and 24 bars on the weekend. I cut out all soda, all flavored waters and basically anything that wasn’t healthy for me to drink. I’m only drinking water, coffee, milk, V-8, tea and orange juice in moderation. My husband informed me that a Venti Caramel Frapaccino in no way classifies as coffee, DAMMIT! Whatever, I’ll remember that when I’m preparing his beets for dinner (background, he agreed to eat a veggie a day if I gave up soda and flavored water.)

I’m really trying my hardest to take vitamins. Seriously I take flax seed oil, one a day, probiotics, calcium magnesium vitamin D, Vitamin C and an all vegetable organic fiber supplement daily.

I’m watching my calories and really trying to find a nice balance between weekdays and weekends. A huge part of what I’m doing is trying to make eating healthy feel normal rather then feel like something I’m doing as a quick fix to a weight issue. I want to make it so in 10 years I still think eating veggies and fruits every day is a normal thing, and at the same time so do my kids. In fact every night Brandon tastes a new vegetable. His most favorite of all is trees (broccoli) and carrots which makes me laugh so hard considering those are two of the hardest things to get kids to eat.

I try and read labels. I avoid as much hydromonsterated oils as possible, I don’t like a lot of sugar, I prefer my sodium to come out of my own salt dish, not prepackaged foods. I try and get in a yogurt a day and I like my cheese to be fresh not that rubber cheese they try and pass off as American cheese. The only thing American about it, is that it isn’t healthy which is the same for most Americans, we aren’t healthy.

I have switched to whole wheat pasta (My husband is somewhere glaring at me right now because he can tell I’m typing those words), I’ve mostly eliminated bacon from my cooking. I have tried to cut back on my rich sauces and cream bases and make more broth bases or things from pan juices. I have been baking my tortillas instead of frying them and adding more spices and fresh foods to my food rather then jarred and packaged unidentifiable mystery powders you buy at the store.

The point of this entire blog, is that lately I’ve started feeling like I was one whole grain away from turning into a Kashi commercial, so to be safe, I took precautions and ordered some back up. My order looks similar to this only bigger.

He he, not really, this is my real order, but still, definitely preventing a full Kashi, granola cruncher, hippie overload huh!

*Don’t forget to stop by the comment section on this blog and leave me your funniest, dirtiest, cutest, jokes, the winner gets a spot light on my blog.

8 thoughts on “Taking procautions (I say pro cuz I think it’s a positive thing, so I do realize the spelling error, mmmmkay)

  1. You are crazy lady. That is so much to be constantly thinking about but way to go! It\’s hard to give up so much… but like you said, once I gave up fast food (and realized what is in it) I don\’t miss it anymore. That wouldn\’t work for you and chocolate and likely wouldn\’t work for me and wine, but anyway…


  2. You crack me up with your chocolate bar comment! I try to buy the bite sized chocolates and then I put them behind lots of crap in the cupboard that way it is really hard for me to keep going back for more. And I am totally infatuated with Vitamin Water b/c it is nice to drink something other than reg water and I cut out pop. More power to ya woman.


  3. You are so damn funny. Sober? Me too..almost 7 1/2 years. Yeah change is tough and I do LOVE to feel good but eating like shot always kicks me in the ass later. Congrats momma!


  4. This was a hilarious post…I got to the end and about died laughing! We ordered 5 boxes because Dave and I can\’t share our girl scout cookies! He was like well those certainly aren\’t on your diet. I read him this post and explained that clearly they were because Captain Tummy Tuck says so!


  5. bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!! You are awesome. I had my box (you know those are a single serving, right?) of thin mints that I allow myself each year and now life is good. I added in a box (cause those are only a half serving each box) of the ones that are no longer called Tagalongs and I am seriously fucking happy as a clam.


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