So! You want to know what shirt you wore on your first day of 4th grade? Chances are I will remember. You want to know every guy you ever kissed? I will remember. Basically anything you want to know I can remember. However. Try and get me to remember to feed my son breakfast, and the lights go out. Sure, I remember to feed myself, and that is because I can feel my tummy growl. But unless Brandon is super famished he won’t tell me he is hungry. Thats why there have been numerous days when at 11:00 I suddenly think, fuck I haven’t fed my kid. That is also oddly close to the time that I find him in the refrigerator savagely digging cream cheese out of a tub with his fingers.
The same goes with teeth brushing. I can feel the fur in my mouth if I haven’t brushed, but remembering his. Yeah I suck at it. Which is why I had to cover my bases and bring a toothbrush to work so if I forget at home, then at some point during the day I will remember at work.
Or how about the fact that I CAN NOT remember to put his cup of milk back in the fridge. Resulting in more grossed out looks from my husband then I care to think about. No shit, do you know how many times Rob has picked up a sippy cup of cottage cheese looking milk and just shook his head at me. Oops.
It also seems I never remember to style Brandons hair until right when I am buckling him in the car seat and we are already 10 minutes late. Instead most days my child looks like he just woke up from a nap.
I never remember to turn off his TV which results in Rob saying,”babe, what did you forget to do today?” (This is a tossup, it could be Brandon’s TV or the porch light, the porch light is never turned off by me.)
This all leads me to believe I’m going to be the mom who forgets her sons lunch on the counter. Which means I’m going to be that mom chasing after my kid on the playground shouting “honey you forgot your lunch sweety snookems lover muffin!”
Because honestly, if I’m going to be embarrassing myself by being a flaky forgetful idiot, I might as well embarrass him too and add some spit shining to his face for good measure right?