I still can’t bweeth thwew my nose

Boy 2 at 6 months
Noticeably shorter, but he doesn’t care, at least he isn’t bald right
Boy 1 at 7 months
Much taller, but much balder

We are having a barbecue today. I just had to spell check barbecue, who knew there wasn’t actually a “Q” in it, blows my mind man. I am still sick. Since I’m nursing I can’t take anything but Robitussin DM and Tylenol (cough ahem, PLACEBO). What I wouldn’t give for a DayQuil right now. Doesn’t it sound heavenly? If only you could hear me now. I’m sexy. What with my plugged nose nasally tone that is often interrupted by my phlegmy cough and a hint of wheeze mixed in.

I made Ginger come over and make her famous potato salad. Then I made her make my scones for me, because the instructions were all, cut in this, and blend this, and separate bowl that, and I was all, PSSSH TO MANY INSTRUCTIONS, CAN’T MEASURE, STEP AWAY SLOWLY. Said scones did not come with enough cranberries and I’m left wanting to write the company and complain. I want to tell them, “hey two miserable cranberries per jumbo scone isn’t gonna satisfy this fatty.” Luckily I didn’t have to buy any jelly for them, I have plenty of jelly on my thighs.

This year I’m trying to talk Rob into letting ME barbecue (with no Q) the food, as he has a tendency to get totally drunk and burn and/or ignite everything on the grill because he is too busy telling some witty anecdote about NOTHING AT ALL. I had my camera all posed and ready to take pictures of the disasters that are our parties. Only, it’s raining outside so we moved the party inside, and the inside parties are not nearly as fun. I mean, if we are inside then none of my husbands friends can climb my fence and dive off, and splash around in the kiddy pool, and then let the other guys shove someone in the kids little car. And that was all one party, and all one guy. We can’t forget the time that they all got drunk and took turns seeing who could punch the buff guy harder in the six pack, only most of them fucked up and punched him in his hip and ran away crying that they hurt their hands. We are some adults here, yes we are!

I just want the party to start because dammit, I want to eat my spinach dip and Katies cookies. Well I’ve gotta go now, people will start showing up in a half hour and, wait, HA, that would imply I knew a single person who was capable of being on time besides ME!

And oh man, I can’t believe I forgot to write about how yesterday Ginger and I ran to the store (after she was 20 minutes late) and my husband called me to tell me I had company. Then Katie got on the phone and informed me, she thought the party was today and was standing at my house with her cookies and party hat on. I laughed, then told her it was totally okay, because she is pregnant and that constitutes baby brains! It was super funny though because Katie might be the most organized person I’ve ever seen, EVER. He he! She left her cookies for the pot luck (I swear I didn’t eat any) and said, “Okay I’ll be back tomorrow!” I reminded her tomorrow, that baby brains and all, she should try not to also be 45 minutes late, which just proves my point that everyone I know is always LATE!

8 thoughts on “I still can’t bweeth thwew my nose

  1. I tell ya that crap is going around. Both my husband and son are sick and NOW I\’m starting to get a sore throat. Grrr. World look out, because I HATE being sick! Both boys are adorable:)


  2. Hope that the weather didn\’t make your party all yucky today! My sister was in town and she just left so that was our fun Memorial Weekend!! I see you are reading the Memory Keeper\’s Daughter…my sister read it and said it is a great book…they just made a movie of it on Lifetime too 🙂


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