Brandon came to me last week and asked me to make a paper airplane. I made this. I thought it was awesome. Brandon picked it up, threw it, and watched as it did nothing but sail miserably into the floor about 4″ away from him. He looked at me with a look that said, “You are such a rookie, woman,” and walked off. He came back, and declared again, “MOM I WANT AN AIRPLANE.” I picked up my airplane, handed it to him and watched as he tossed it aside and said, “no I want a daddy airplane.”
“What the fuck is a daddy airplane” I found myself thinking?
Oooo, a daddy airplane is an airplane is an airplane that ACTUALLY FLIES!
At this point my husband walks out and sits on the couch. He looks down at the floor and then says, “what the fuck is that?” I’m busy in the kitchen and I look up wondering what he is talking about. He bends down picks up my flaccid piece of paper airplane with a smirk on his face and repeats, “Shannon, seriously, what is this?” I told him it was Brandon’s airplane. He erupted into laughter, grabbed a piece of paper and went to work creating this. An airplane that flies!
Psssh I sooo could have made that.
Brandon spent the next few HOURS launching the daddy airplane at my head. Since the planes my husband makes actually fly, and very accurately I spent the next few hours getting hit square in the head with an airplane. My husband spent the next few hours alternating between shaking his head at me, and telling me I was a sorry airplane maker.
I’d like to know, at what point exactly do men get pulled aside in school and learn to make a plane? Because clearly I need to learn this shit so my son will stop looking at me like I am a complete moron whose 2 year old is light years smarter then her.