I would be lying if I said there aren’t days I’m jealous you get to just go to work with out getting the kids ready. Today is one of those days. Walking into the bathroom to find your almost 3 year old covered in poop from head to toe along with the toilet, and whole roll of toilet paper, well, it makes me jealous of you. Finding the bathroom rug with a big pile of poop on it is far less fun then going to work at 6am. Realizing that your son tripped and fell while climbing to poop and then tried to wipe the poop off with a bran new roll of toilet paper, his shorts, and the toilet seat, makes me think I might even enjoy going to work at 4am. Having to plunge the toilet and then rush your kid to the shower makes me think, I wouldn’t even mind working nights. Then, walking out, to find your youngest has now puked everywhere because he was crying so hard from not being held makes me think working int he 100 degree weather would feel a lot like relaxing on the beach. Plunging the toilet again because all the poop and toilet paper still won’t flush, then cramming a shit covered rug into my clean washer, makes me wonder why I never got a job like oh, I dunno, being the Queen. Because I’m positive, the Queen of England never never never had to clean shit out from between her 3 year olds toes!
PS Having to pull the baby out of the car seat just to wipe a second helping of puke off him…makes me still jealous!