Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary. We are going out for dinner tonight and all I’m thinking is, “Dude you need to shave your fucking legs Shannon.” Seriously ya’ll if you rub your hand over my leg you get an awesome exfoliating affect. Add some lotion and lavender scent and it’s a full on spa treatment for free!
On top of the sexy legs I now have retainers again. I had braces back in middle school and of course retainers after. About 4 years after having my braces removed I gave up on my retainers. Well now 10ish years later my teeth have shifted to the point of needing retainers again. In fact if I had waited much longer I would have had to have braces again. So I now have myself a shiny new set of clear retainers! That also means I talk like thith. I sound like an athhole when I anthwer the phone at work. Also MY TEETH FUCKING HURT. Like I said Rob and I are going to dinner tonight and I’m wondering if the place we are going has any mush on the menu. Maybe they can blend my bruschetta up into a nice Gazpacho, I mean they are the same thing right!
Also even though I only have like 8 dishes at my house currently I somehow manage to have about 53 in my sink. What the fuck? How is it I don’t have spoons, strainers, pans, or bowls but I have an entire sink full of dirty dishes? I hadn’t cooked dinner in quite a while with all this house shit. It was a lot of Taco Bell and take out orders. I tried cooking dinner last week which resulted in making gravy with corn starch. We have only one pan so that meant I had to boil potatoes then take them out and mash them in a bowl while washing the pan and starting the gravy. I was so frustrated with that I stopped cooking again. I also hadn’t been to the store in over a month. I had bought NOTHING! Finally on Monday I gave up and went to the store. I had to set my pride aside and take some help from the store. I bought some of those frozen Bertolli pasta meals in a bag (Rob LOVED the Alfredo chicken one), some frozen pizzas, and I shit you not I bought the Country Crock premade mashed potatoes. I bought fresh meat, some salad, fruit and veggies too. It’s been a relief all week making dinner but not having to use 500 pans and take an entire hour that I just don’t have right now. Two nights ago I grilled an amazing bone in rib eye and roasted asparagus. Then I popped a loaf of premade garlic bread from Whole Foods in the oven and my microwave potatoes and wala I had dinner. I only made ONE dish! Well, 3 if you count our two plates and the ENORMOUS Tupperware I used to marinate since I didn’t have any baggies. The Bertoli meal in bag took 10 minutes I shit you not and was fucking delicious.
I was almost embarrassed to buy the food. Feeling like somehow I was sucking as a wife. But then I realized that sucking as a wife would be not even trying at all and being totally okay with fast food and take out. But then I realized I had to wave my white flag and surrender. I just can’t devote an hour to cooking every night right now, but I do have 20 minutes to give to it and at least now we all are around the dinner table again and I’ve at least cooked something rather then let someone else do it. Oh well. Someday we will be fully moved in and I can go back to cooking real food and updating my food website!
In the mean time we are going to dinner at a great little Italian place tonight called Johnnys Little Italy and the server may or may not be able to grate Parmesan off my legs!