WHY I HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND EVER

Today my husband came home and told me to go see my present. I walked out to the garage to see this.

For the last few months I’ve been looking for one of these old desks for Brandon. The kind that opened from the top. Rob mentioned two weeks ago that he saw one on a delivery for work. I was sad because the lady wasn’t selling it he had just seen it in their garage.

Now. My husband is shy. He isn’t the kind of person to do spontaneous things. So, when I found out he drove all the way out to this ladies house and asked the lady to please sell it to him for his wife’s birthday I was FLABERGASTED! I couldn’t believe he went so far out of his way for me.

ISN’T IT CUTE!!
It is even bright blue and it totally fits great in Brandon’s room.

Brandon LOVES IT!

He is already hiding from me in it.
AND MY RED SWINGLINE!!!!!!!!!!
He also got me a shit ton of money to Starbucks and a pedicure.

And that my friends is why my husband is
THE BEST HUSBAND EVER.

THANK GOD I HAD MY RAIN BOOTS ** WITH UPDATE**

I just went in to go pee. I flushed and suddenly OVERFLOW. I looked down to see that a certain 3 foot tall person had shoved a frigging paper cup in our toilet. Before I knew it my feet were surrounded in PEE WATER. I had to take off my scarf (no pee water on that) and jump behind the toilet to shut off the water. Then I had to plunge the damn cup out and clean up the mess. All I could think while that was happening is THANK GOD I HAD ON MY RAIN BOOTS!!!

****UPDATE****
Minutes after the over flowing toilet I walked into my office to find this.


See that there behind him???????????????

Appears Codi had a bit of a diaper blow out (for the second time today). I was on the phone with a customer so I put her on hold hauled ass out the door to get the other girl in the office (stopped for a photo) and by the time I made it back in he had turned around tracked through the poop tracked it all the way down the hall and out the front. His outfit was soaked from the waist down his hands, body and feet were covered and he was pissed. I had to stick him fully clothed in the kitchen sink and hose him down. It was a war zone people. Poop everywhere. I had to get poop on his head just to get the outfit off of him. Poor little guy. Hope this bug passes soon.

Just to let you have a little tally of may day:
*Woke up to find out Brandon had slept in an extra hour..making him wet the bed so I cleaned wet sheets.
*While walking out of the laundry room discovered tiny baby had left puddle of poop on the stairs. Passed diaper off to dad in honor of my birthday but still found myself cleaning poop.
*Came to work to find tiny child had plugged toilet…so cleaned toilet water off floor
*Sat down to breath only to breath in the giant stench of POOP and spent the last ten minutes cleaning poop off tiny baby AND ENTIRE OFFICE FLOOR!

Great start to my birthday huh?

Flying high on my birthday

This birthday is shaping up to be the best birthday ever. First, bagels, coffee and a scarf. Then today I woke up to a HOLY SHIT I’M FUCKING FLYING TO WORK cup of coffee. I came next door to find a new kind of ice cream cake awaiting me with some sort of FUDGE CRUNCH stuff in it. Yeah, I’m taking the rest of that home with me, where I plan to sit in a little corner with a spoon and eat it ALL BY MYSELF. After that I walked into my office to find a gift card to LUCKY and it is taking every ounce of strength to not cry out early lunch and go shopping because they have some jeans up there with my ass’ name on them! My dad gave me the cutest card ever and some money which STARBUCKS HERE I COME! Ginger stopped by to try a bagel and brought with her CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKES from Trader Joes. We shared some ice cream cake together and then she was off to work. Then the girl in my office bought me those rad plant globe watery things. I can’t wait to fuck with those and see if they really work. Finally Lisa came over and she brought me….


OMG THE FABULOUS WEDGE RAINBOOTS I’VE BEEN WANTING FOR TWO PLUS YEARS NOW.

Wait let me take another picture with out that lame Giants cup in the way.


Much better. Anyway I was so overly excited about the goddamn rain boots I ran home and changed my outfit just so I could wear them now.

But the real icing on the cake (or cupcake) was the fucking cupcake she got me at Whole Foods that is exactly the size of my head with more frosting then what is showed here, because a “moose” ate some before I took the picture.


Y’all I can’t even describe this frosting. IT looks and taste like ice cream. It is thick and dense and rich and I’m pretty sure it has about 19878 sticks of butter in it. I haven’t even gotten to the cupcake itself yet, but I do know this…

Ice cream cake + insane New York coffee + bagel (carbs) + cupcakey goodness + having husbands fast car for the day = ZOOOOM WEEEE BUZZ BUZZ FLASH ~!~~~

AM WIRED, TO WIRED TO TYPE STRAIGHT. MUST KEEP EATING SUGAR TO AVOID SUGAR CRASH!

Also, As mentioned husband took my car today and gave me his mega fast Honda Accord. I did a lot of zoom zoom zooming on the way back from Brandon’s day care today. However the sweetest part was that he put in my favorite CD and programmed it to my favorite song so when I started the car my beloved T.I. was playing “Whatever You Like,” Which means I TOTALLY ROCKED OUT!!!!

I can’t wait to see what the rest of the day brings!

Silly moments

First, in case you forget what I’m doing for my birthday Ginger got me tickets to Fantasies in Chocolate again. If you’re wonder what that is, click here to have your eyes molested by chocolate (and to see me 179 months pregnant at last years event…this year I will be rockin). And yes I know YOU ARE VERY JEALOUS!

Now for the sillyness. The other day my husband and I were out at dinner and there was cake. I said I was full. Rob reached over and patted the side of my tummy and said, “babe did you forget about the special desert compartment.” I know, you’re thinking wow she’s a cow. But it was really the cutest thing ever because my husband knows that no matter how full I am THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR DESERT! I love that he knows me that well, and never judges my need for cake!

Tonight I baked Brandon mini cookies. I like to do this because when I do my son tells me, “mommy you are the best mommy cookie baker ever,” and “mommy you bake me cookies because you love me.” Anywho to spice it up tonight I smooshed some pumpkin ice cream between his chocolate chip cookies. His eyes lit up and he took a bite and ice cream gooed out and at that moment, I knew I had totally won at the mom thing……. for tonight anyway.

THE DISNEY LAND OF BAGELS

(Edited to add: The above title was supposed to read, THE DISNEYLAND OF BIRTHDAYS, NOT BAGELS!! I am obviously soooo stupefied with my bagels that is all I can think about!)

So I just went to my mail box to find the rest of my present from Patty!

She fucking knitted me a scarf.

I don’t even know what to do right now. I’m totally overwhelmed. I don’t think I’ve gotten a gift this personal since my grandma was here and made me doll clothes. The scarf has a faint scent of Patty, and I feel like I just unwrapped a giant New York hug in a box. I am going to keep this for life and put it on when ever I’m in need of a hug.

The rest of the gift.
Bath stuff
Chocolate…this shit is so good it won’t make it through the hour.
And the sweetest most personal card ever
I can’t begin to describe Patty how thankful I am for you in my life. Thank you soooo much I love you!

Update, I tasted the bacon chive cream cheese she mailed me and that stuff is enough to turn me into a meat eater!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

My birthday is tomorrow. Today Patty told me to keep an eye out for Fed Ex. About 20 minutes ago my mom said she saw them leaving. I hauled ass next door to my house and found a giant box on my door step. When I opened it I saw…..


GLORIOUS NEW YORK BAGELS.

I thought o cool she sent me a couple bagels.

NO

She sent me like two dozen or more bagels.


And cream cheese. The best cream cheese I’ve ever had in my life. Cream cheese so good I want to hide it and not share it with Brandon even.

It even had coffee in it and I’m sitting on my hands to avoid brewing coffee at 11:20 in the afternoon.

Of course I just took a little taste of the cream cheese

Heaven! This is what heaven is.

Patty this is the best birthday present I’ve gotten ever!

IN THE HISTORY OF PRESENTS THIS IS THE TOPPER!

I FUCKING LOVE YOU!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Aren’t you all so jealous right now!

How to get through a day at work…Shannon style

A quick look at my current play list in Itunes at work…in this order:

Pump up the Jam by Technotronic
This is How We Do It by Montell Jordan
Too Legit to Quit by MC Hammer
Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangster by Geto Boys
U Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer
No Diggity by Blackstreet
Tootsie Roll by 69 Boyz

And that my friends, is how you have a good time at work!

Chips and crackers…REALLY

I took Brandon to school this morning to discover a sign outside his classroom with a sign up sheet for their Halloween party on Friday. I was THRILLED because I have been dying to make something for his class for a party. However then I looked closer and discovered that the only things left to bring were fruit, juice boxes and chips and crackers. I don’t want to buy juice boxes because..NOT FUN AND/OR CRAFTY. I thought about doing cute little fruit cabobs with yogurt dip in little cups (shit I shoulda done that), but for some reason I signed up for chips and crackers. How unfun is that?

So oh wise internet do you have any ideas on fun chip and cracker things (with maybe some cheese)? I was thinking of getting cute little Halloween theme muffin cups and putting stuff in those BUT WHAT? Is there something rad I can CREATE out of crackers? Dammit I know Martha Steward would have some super great way of taking crackers, olives and chives and turning it into bats and cats and ghosts oh my BUT. AM. NOT. MARTHA. STEWART!

HELP ME INTERNET WHAT DO I MAKE!!!! I WANT TO ROCK THAT PARTY!