I’ve got the worst cold right now. One of the joys of having a kid in day care. He brings me a new germy present every week. Anyway I haven’t been sleeping good because of the coughing and the not being able to breath thwu my nose thing. Codi usually wakes up around 615-630. On good days he will let me know he is up by giving a big happy fart. Yesterday he did a big huge fart. I was kind of incoherant but I got up, peed and stumbled over to grab him. I reached down and felt his diaper which was soaking wet. I half walk half sleep walked into his room. Seeing the changing table was his cue to start wiggling like a fish out of water. I wrangled him down on the changing table and went to work pulling off the diaper while trying to also remove it fast enough that he didn’t grab it with his hands and kick his feet in it. Only, I was too slow and he did both. Damn. So I ripped it out faster and flung it over by the wipes.
It was then that I noticed his morning fart was..more then a fart. My kid was covered in poop. He somehow managed to get his hands in it AND HIS FUCKING FEET. Then I realized that my act of FLINGING the diaper made poop go everywhere and upon looking down I noticed I had somehow stuck my own goddamn hand in the poop. So I did what every good parent does. I stood there for a second trying to wake up while wondering what the fuck exactly had just happened.
Thats when I realized, that since I was sick I couldn’t smell the poop as a warning. I was still standing there unawake, totally out of it when I realized OH YEAH POOP EVERYWHERE. It took me forever to get us cleaned up. The flining of the diaper had leaked poop into the back of Codi’s footie jammies. This made it hard because I had to hold him up to clean him, and I couldn’t put him down to clean the rest of him or I would be putting him down in more poop. I ended up having to lay a wipe over the poop, put him down at hyper speed and then pull his arms out of his jammies so I could toss them aside. The whole process to change one damn diaper took me freaking 10 MINUTES.
This is why I think that if mom is sick you shouldn’t make her change a diaper. Or any parenting for that matter since you need all of your senses to parent. Anyway, that is how my day started, with my kid and me both covered in shit!