Hello from my death bed (the couch)

Am too lazy to locate computer. Am so very sick. The good sick you know where snot drips freely from your nose. So freely that at one point while laying down snot actually dripped in perfect little drops onto my pillow. Which left me wondering if I should change the cover or just be lazy and flip it. Bet you know what I chose. I also have a rocking sexy cough that makes me pee a little if I cough too hard. My throat is so raw that breathing makes me cough.

Plus eating healthy sucks when you are sick. I stared longingly at my ramen today as I fixed my low. Al low sodium low taste soup.

I tried to take a nice shower but there wasn't enough hot water so I just ended up grumpy after that.

I've spent a large part of my day with tissue crammed up my nose. Codi is being a total shit head though and having a blast pulling it out of my nose. He also bit my nipple with his three and a half teeth today which absolutly did not help matters.

Finaly I'm having a massive case if vertigo right now. So I'm spinning as I type.

So that's where I am. Here I am. Here on my couch feeling sorry for myself.

Sent from my iPhone

They story of the pan

I’ve got a gazillion things to tell you about Vegas. But until I rest more and upload photos you get nothing but the story of the pan.

First of all, I went to Vegas for Christmas. I did not tell anyone because I always feel weird letting people know I’m gone and that my house is sitting there with no one in it. Back in August at Brandons birthday my aunt and my mom got to talking. They were chatting about Burning Man (you know the big naked boobie hippie love fest in the desert). My mom was explaining how she thought my aunt would love burning man. Since it was only a month away and it would cost a lot for my aunt to come back she proposed a deal. She would go to burning man if we would go to Vegas for Christmas. Long story short, there is an entire photo album of this years burning man I don’t want to see and I spent Christmas in a wet and freezing Las Vegas.

I had a few things that were non negotiable for the trip. We had to go to outlet malls, take Brandon to the Shark show and eat at Sweet Tomatoes (my pants still haven’t recovered from the food this trip). Finally outlet shopping day came and we spent a ridiculous amount of time driving to Primm Mall. At Aeropostal I got a shit ton of clothes 40%-70% off. At Converse I scored 2 awesome pairs of shoes for Brandon for only $19.99 each (normally $30.00). I hit the jackpot at American Eagle, Lucky and more. Bath and Body Works was a goldmine. Then finally WILLIAMS SONOMA! Most of the store was 40% off. Some even 70% off. However, my favorite part was that the entire collection of All-Clad was 50% off. I nearly died. Here I was on the most limited budget of my life and EVERY SINGLE PAN I ever wanted was half price. I went there for one item only. The 8″ non stock fry pan. I call it an egg pan, because it is the perfect size to hand flip an egg in. The pan was originally $89.99 but it was 50% off. The kicker? There was an invisible ding in the pan so they offered me an additional 10% off. That means my $89.99 pan cost $39.95!!! The remainder of the store was on sale also. Let me show you everything else I got and the original prices.

Non stick fry pan $89.99
Professional full size sheet pan $29.95
Professional cookie sheet (mine was smaller) $19.95
Loaf pan $16.00
Pyrex 8×8 glass baking dish $10.00
Extra large spatula $9.00
Christmas dishtowels $7.00
Peppermint bark $26.50
Peppermint Kitchen Candle $24.50

I believe that is all we got, I can’t be sure but I know for sure we got this much. The grand total, not on sale is $232.89. With tax that makes it a total close to $250.00. Guess how much we paid? Tax and everything $113.00!!!!! Holy shit batman. We got a minimum of 9 items for nearly the price of my one pan.

Needless to say I LOVE OUTLET MALLS!

Coming later this week, photos of the blanket my mom made. The food of Las Vegas. The malls that weren’t discount cheapy ones! Our rad Christmas gifts, and the best ice cream I ever had that I’ll never get to have again (hello Fresh and Easy please move to Reno! My favorite story that is coming? The tale of the stroller that is no more!

Can u hear me now

Dear asshole guy at the airport on your phone. We can all hear you stop talking so loud. Also it is obvious you are a tool and you are single. The lady on the phone doesn't like you. Stop bragging about what a fucking idiot you are. Stop talking about how much you dont understand the housing market. No she doesnt want to meet up when you get in town stop asking over and over how many more ways can she say NO. Your weesely laugh is annoying as fuck. We are all laughing at you. Next time maybe learn to talk a little quieter.

Sent from my iPhone

Airport

I'm at the airport watching my parents plane take off with my kid in it. While I understand that the little truck shooting steam at the plane is most likely a safety thing that doesn't mean a little part of me isn't screaming OH SHIT their plane caught fire look at the smoke. In fact that is what I did for the first two minutes till I realiWd what was happening. They should maybe warn us here in the terminal that no folks the plane isn't on fire this is a standard procedure. Cuz homegirl was freaking out

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REGULATORS

SO! Ginger and I are baking (pictures of that later). I have tried my 19048th cup of cocoa and eaten my weight in cookie dough. Needless to say I’m on a good sugar high. Which is why, when Tootsie Roll came on my Ipod I found myself in the living room re-enacting my cheer leading days. So. With out further ado I present

SHANNON DOES CHEERLEADING JUMPS!

READY

OKAY



NOT SO TOE TOUCH!


SHE LANDED IT

BARELY

THIS CONCLUDES OUR LESSON IN OLD LADIES WHO SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTING CHEERLEADING JUMPS

(NOT PICTURED, THE PHOTO WHERE GINGER SNAPPED THE PICTURE AT THE EXACT TIME THAT BOTH OF MY BOOBS FLOPPED ALL THE WAY OUT OF MY SHIRT AND BOUNCED UP TOWARD MY EYEBALLS…I PUT ON A JACKET AFTER THAT)

School picture and the piano man

Brandons first school picture. I want to know who this guy was and how in the fuck he got my kid to smile like this.

Seriously after Christmas, once everyone has seen the card and the pictures I’m going to post the outtakes on here because they are funny shit and none of them, not even the good ones look like the kid above. This picture man, whoever he is, IS A GENIUS!

Brandon, like his mom has created his own language. He often comes up with words that he uses normally like they are just…regular old words. He likes to say, “juke.” What is a juke? Beats me. He does it whe he is poking you, or tickling you or something. He also loves to say Shawka while making the hang loose sign. Papa taught him that. So, now when he is in trouble I’ll say, Brandon why did you do that? He looks at me, thinks for a second and says “shawka” and runs. He has a favorite though. Bawka. Pronounced like Bawk uh. He often says you are a silly bawka. Today he told me I was a silly bawka. Finally I said Brandon what on earth is a Bawka? His reply?

“A bawka is a knucklehead mom and you a bawka.”

Thanks kid!

And finally, the piano man!


I believe we have the next Billy Joel on our hands


Possibly pigtails

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have these dorky short pigtails. Now I have them…and as I expected they make me feel extra dorky, in a good way!


Also seriously who gave me photobooth. I swear I will stop taking pictures of myself and posting them here!

I’m not supposed to blog about it

My husband gets all weird when I blog the nice things he does. He says he would rather have me say it to him then the blog. So, I told him thanks which I think means I can blog about it now. Besides it’s my blog I can do what I want. Anywho. About a week and a half ago I came in the room and got in bed. I immediately recoiled from the ice cold freezing sheets. Of course this led to me sitting in bed pouting about how I don’t have flannel sheets and how poor me my bed is cold. I then suggested to my husband that obviously the simple answer would be for him to just go ahead and warm up my side of the bed for me and then he could go lay on his cold side since it didn’t bother him. Y’all the past 4 nights he has done that. I shit you not. I have been staying up a little bit later then him trying to put Codi to bed. Then I go into our room to find Rob laying on my side of the bed snoring. As soon as he hears me he hops on over to his side and I get to slide into some nice warm sheets. It is beautiful I tell you because I love nothing more then WARMTH!

Then, this weekend when fucking Jodi had to go and tell me that Linens N Things was having a going out of business sale I casually mentioned to Rob that I had found some flannel sheets on sale for $29.99 all the way down from almost $70.00. He told me to buy them. Those puppies should be here any day!

Another cute thing he did. Last week I forgot to start the coffee pot the night before. Who am I kidding. I haven’t remembered to start that thing in about 3 months. But I have been getting up and doing it fine in the morning. However once last week when he knew I had, had a particularly long night he woke up extra early got it all ready and as he walked out the door he said, “coffee’s ready just gotta push the button.” Oh yeah you bet I jumped right up and ran over to get some! It was just so extra sweet.

How about how he’s been making the cutest effort to open my door every time we go somewhere together. Seriously people it’s the sweetest shit I’ve ever seen. I’ve never been big on all that chivalry stuff but when he does it I totally melt.

And yesterday, he left a little early so he could go out and wipe all the snow off my windows and get my car all ready for me. Saturday I was going somewhere in his car. With out even knowing it he started it, turned on the heater and had it all ready and warm before I even got in.

Last week I woke up to find a card hiding in my closed laptop from him. It was so sweet saying that he loved me and that he loved my new hair too!

You know, sometimes I may want to totally kick my husbands ass, but most times he really puts a smile on my face!

Finally my favorite thing he’s been doing lately. He’s been making a huge huge effort not to fart in front of me. Especially not at the dinner table anymore!

But you know, before you all think I got sick and mushy on you I didn’t. I just ran out of things to talk about and figured why not talk about him. And it’s not like I was telling you the blue sani hut water story, or the army crawl story I was just telling sweet stuff. You want to hear some really romantic stuff? Last night we cuddled up on the couch and watched an infomercial about colons. Yes. I sat next to my husband and watched him get all giddy over a 6 foot long black poop that some miracle pills make you do and how much he REALLY REALLY WANTS A 6 FOOT BLACK POOP OF HIS OWN!

So, yeah. Then there is that!

This is one of the Christmas pictures that didn’t make the card. We have an even better pic together that I will show you when our cards come in!

Hi


We went to take pictures this weekend and Ginger came along to act as photographer. Seconds before we got in the car I had Rob snap a photo of us. Aren’t we cute! I love my Ginger!

(Also I totally ruled at the board game Life for the second time in a row…RULED)