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I went out with Rob again this weekend. I drank too much again. Saturday morning Rob and I sat down and talked and I’ve made the decision to go back on the wagon. While the last 7 months of drinking have been fun, in a way it was also a huge headache. Every drink I took I found myself questioning it. Am I drinking just to relax? Is drinking to relax okay? Am I drinking for the right reason? What is the right reason? That was followed with the feeling that everyone was watching me. I was like a giant caution sign and I didn’t like it. I also became aware that I was finding way to many reasons for it to be okay to drink. It’s Tuesday and I’m bored was just not a good enough reason you know.

My other thought is that I really really want to give my medication a fair chance. I think getting drunk and using alcohol, as a crutch is the wrong way to go about healing. My husband said he is giving up alcohol for lent, and in fact he is starting right now. While it was fun drinking and going out, I learned I’m still not smart enough to know when to stop, and while it was funny the first time, being "that drunk girl" at the club gets old very fast.

I was happier not drinking too. I never had to think about anything. I never found myself questioning my motives and I knew I was doing the right thing. So, I’m back to doing the right thing and I know I can wake up every morning feeling like I made the best decisions the day before.

So far I still don’t see much reaction from the medicine. I do know that I have definitely not had the side affect of “LOSS OF APPETITE.” Nope, my appetite is still going strong. Just ask the brownies and ice cream I had last night. (Yes that means I finished off the last of Gingers amazing brownies.

I am still massively drowsy from the meds, which I know is a totally normal side effect. If I don’t eat enough I sometimes feel like barfing. But other then that I feel pretty good. I still feel like I think before I respond which is nice, but I still also know that there have been a few moments this last week when I was a TOTAL ASSHOLE.

On a new subject, Codi is doing mildly better eating and by mildly I mean he eats like four things now instead of three. Sleeping is going mostly better too. Codi still has some nights (last night) where he wakes up and it takes an hour to console him, and other nights (Saturday) he sleeps from 9:00 until 6:00 AM. The funny part is, on the nights he sleeps I actually sleep less because I keep waking up wondering why in the hell he hasn’t woken up yet. Saturday when he slept all night both Rob and I woke up and went in to make sure he was okay because our kids just don’t sleep that much.

Brandon is learning to sign in class. Which is great, minus the part where they taught him the sign for NO. Now, at dinner when I tell him to eat his pasta he looks at me and signs NO rather then just saying no. Little shit head. He also signs, yes, dinosaur, flower, mommy and daddy. Today he is learning the sign for sad and I can’t wait for that one to be thrown at me when I tell him to please for the love of God STOP JUMPING ON THE FUCKING FURNITURE.

I spent the weekend cleaning my house and I must brag for a second about my amazing husband. He knew it was cleaning day and he also knew my least favorite chore. So my wonderful husband spent the morning cleaning all three of our toilets inside and out and then hand mopping all three bathroom floors. I was thrilled. We finished scrubbing the house together and I am proud to say that we managed to keep it almost clean for two whole days even with the kids in tow. I even got all of my laundry done (there is one load that I need to fold but I count that as done). Next on my list of things to do…clean my junk drawer. Honestly I think that might just be worse then scrubbing toilets!

Don’t forget to enter my give away to win a brand new HP printer!  Just leave me a comment on the post below telling me your favorite Valentines memory or your idea of the perfect Valentines date!