Crissy tagged me for this.  It’s been going around the blogosphere for a while now.  Take a picture of yourself right then and there.  No make up, primping, posing.  You can see how tired I am if you look in my eyes.



I tag the next five people who read this blog!



It's getting worse

As you can see I spent the day cleaning.  A lot.  I spent my night cleaning too.  I vacuumed twice today and I have hard wood.  One room has carpet and I have one small area rug.  I vacuum the wood though,  In the corners, under tables, all the edges, etc.  The past two weeks I have encountered days where I have vacuumed my house 7 -10 times a day.  I’ve been trying to do dishes daily.  Trying to keep up on laundry.  Today I went crazy organizing things and I kept going into the night.  I’m constantly walking around after the kids picking things up.  After dinner I did the dishes, scrubbed my stove and counters, and cleaned some other things up.

It’s getting out of hand.  I haven’t seen my doctor in two weeks, I missed one appointment when Brandon projectile vomitted on me, Codi, the couch, floors, carpet, table and my Macbook.  The other time was because I had a dinner date with my cousin and her husband and daughter.  One of the things he pointed out though is that it seemed like my OCD has gotten progressively worse over time as opposed to getting better.  That is how I feel now.  Like I’m getting more crazy instead of less crazy.  Daily life is feeling overwhelming. 

My house is very clean but I can’t enjoy it because I keep finding something wrong.  That is how I feel about myself.  I may be doing good but I could probably do better.  My diet went to shit, my exercise went to shit, my parenting is turning to shit.  I feel like I’m turning to shit.

I’m exhausted.  I’m not sleeping again.  I am afraid to take the sleeping medicine the doctor gave me because I don’t want to become dependent.  We file our bankruptcy tomorrow and I have none of the paperwork in order.  I’m still doing the envelope system and I hate not having money.  Seems like everything awesome is suddenly being made now that I’m broke.  Suddenly shoes are cute, house stuff is pretty, face wash is working but it’s too expensive, good summer foods are out but I can’t afford them.  I hate being poor.  

I’ve started to feel like I’m not enough lately.  Like I’m letting people down.  Inadequate is the word that comes to mind.  I want to be more, better, thinner, healthier, happier, and calmer.  i want my head to stop spinning.  I want the constant motion in my mind to be still.  I want to meditate in the silence.

I am exhausted.

I need to get better.  Feel better.  BE BETTER.

Passed out

He fell over and bonked his head.  I went upstairs and changed him and he pointed to his bed where his blankie was.  I got it for him, he tucked it under his arm and cuddled with me.  I set him down to go get his milk and turned around to find him all crashed out on his blankie.  This boy loves his blankie!

Then and now

When I first moved into this house I was in need of some couches.  I knew I couldn’t afford anything spectacular so I turned to Craigs List.  Imagine my surprise when one day my mom found these gorgeous down slipcover couches for only $400.00 on day.  Turns out the guy spent $3,000.00 on these two years ago at Macys.  His wife was from England and for whatever reason she was deported very quickly.  This left him with an entire house to empty so he could get there with her.  He was selling everything for dirt cheap.  In fact he was in such a hurry he also threw in a coffee table for Rob’s man room, a very cute little stool and my favorite fake plant.

Anyway the couches are down and they rock.  The only problem is, THEY WERE WHITE!  I have two kids.  That means that my pretty couches now look like this.

They don’t look bad from here right?  Lets get up close okay..

See how they are now closer to grey and full of stains.

That is chocolate, ice cream, markers, vomit, spit up and other nasty things. What is worse, is that is after the cusions have been washed.  What happened is, at the beginging I was too afraid to wash them in case of shrinkage.  So the stains built up.  One day Brandon puked all over it and I was left with no choice but to toss it in the wash, and lo, it came out perfect.  However the main couch cover was too big to wash, and in the end white was not my color.  The night that Rob and I wanted to work out he left the boys in the living room with some kind of Buzz Lightyear tin.  Turns out inside of it was a ton of markers and crayons.  They pried it open and colored the entire couch RAINBOW!  That’s when I knew it was done.  With our taxes I ordered new slip covers from Macy’s.

So with out further ado, I present my new slip covers.

This is my new favorite reading chair.  I went with a floral pattern here because I love those old vintage patterns, and it matches the old feel and coloring of my house.

I went with a beige for the main couch.  It brings out the color in the leaves on the chair, and it looks nice and neutral so I can mess around with pillows at a later time.

I realize the chair is awfully girly and that is exactly what I wanted.  I wanted it to be clear that was mommies reading chair. (Ignore the treadmill, now that I’m running outside it will be moved outside and my living room will be pretty and foo foo again!

I can’t stress how much I love that little table.  Like I mentioned before it was left by the previous renters.  After washing it up I love it.  The color, the age, the wear and tear, all of it.   It absolutely does not match anything and that is what makes it perfect.  Nothing in my house is the same color.  None of my wood matches, my patterns, none of it, and I think that is what makes it work.

Anyway, I’m thrilled at my new couches.  THRILLED!

This weekend the Universe was against me

Yesterday morning I woke up in desperate need of some coffee.  I started it brewing and ran to get dressed.  Finally I ran downstairs poured some creamer in my cup and grabbed the coffee pot to fill it up.  I was in such a hurry I didn’t even realize the coffee pot was barely full.  Then I noticed a few coffee grounds in the pot. Uggggg, I was thinking the coffee filter tucked over like it does sometimes and a few grounds got in the coffee.  Upon closer inspection of the coffee pot I noticed that it was FULL of coffee, and grounds, but no filter.  Hmmm.  It would appear that I had forgotten the filter all together.  So the basket just sat there filling up and over flowing.  When I stuck the pot back in somehow it loosened the grounds and WHOOOOSH coffee went everywhere.  It took me forever to clean the coffee maker out, dig out all of the grounds and start over. 

Universe: 1 Shannon: 0

Today I spent my day cleaning out another rental that my parents own.  If you thought the last one was bad, here is a preview of what we are dealing with.

Yes.  That is cat feces.  All over the entire house.  We found a total of 22 cats in the house.  There was feces in ever room, the closets, the beds, the kitchen, laundry room, and garage.  Everything was covered in cat pee.  The entire house was so smelly you had to cover your face and breath through your mouth.  In fact the smell sticks to your clothes, hair, and nose.  Meaning everything you taste afterwards taste like rotting cat feces with piss on top.  This is only the tip of the iceberg, in fact the remaining pictures I have are far far worse, and the footage of the house will probably make someone run and puke. We have a long road ahead of us with this one.

Universe: 2 Shannon: 0

Tonight after finally taking a shower and dragging my tired ass to two grocery stores I came home to make dinner.  This wouldn’t have been bad if my husband wasn’t sick and in a crappy mood on top of it all.  Even his attitude would have been bearable if the next thing hadn’t happened.  I was cooking tacos and I grabbed my coffee tin from under the counter that we put grease and fat in.  I drained all the fat from my meat and set the coffee can to the side.  I finished dinner had it all ready on the table and turned to grab the coffee tin to put it away when SPLAT.  I dropped it and rotting months old oil and fat spilled all over me, my favorite leather slippers, my most favorite super soft sweats and my FLOOOOOOR!  I had to stop everything take off my clothes and then run around half naked trying to clean it up.  When I was finally done I turned to put my last rag away and slipped on some grease I missed.  I found myself yelping in pain as I ended up doing the splits and nearly landed on my ass, while dangling by one hand from the kitchen sink.  

Universe: 3 Shannon: Still zero

This day hates me.  I think I should have slept in longer!

Tales from the Crypt

One night the boys were both in the bath.  Brandon started farting and thought he was HILARIOUS.  We all laughed and it just egged him on.  Finally we finished up the bath, washed the boys and got them out of the bath.  Our routine after a bath is that Rob takes Brandon wraps him in a towel and puts him in bed under a bunch of blankies to dry.  I handle Codi, get his teeth brushed and sit downstairs with him while he relaxes and gets ready for bed.  While Brandon dries Rob goes in and drains the bath and rinses it then handles Brandon.  It works out nicely.  So this time Brandons in his bed giggling about all his farting, I’m downstairs and I hear,


I head up there into the bathroom to see Rob standing looking at the now empty bathtub that now has two perfectly hershey’s kiss shaped soft poops stuck to the bottom, right where Brandon was sitting. 

I HAD JUST WASHED MY CHILDREN IN POOPY WATER!  Codi was already sleeping.  Sleeping in a poppy water soaked body.  On hair washed in poopy water. 

Needless to say no one laughs when Brandon farts in the water anymore.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Two nights ago I had been cleaning my kitchen and tossing rags into the laundry basket by my washing machine.  I planned to start one last load of rags after Codi went to bed.  Later after the bath Codi and I were hanging out on the couch.  He wasn’t tired yet so he went toddling off.  A little while later he returned with a rag.  I was totally grossed out, because "eww that had wiped the counters."  Codi was thrilled by this rag though so I left him alone.  The next thing I knew he was sucking on the rag.

I nearly gagged at the thought of him sucking on the dirties from the counter.   I’m gagging reliving it.


I go find Rob and he asks me to investigate the puddle of water?????

Off I go.  SPLASH! I step right into a puddle of water. "Ugggg one of the kids must have spilled their water like ALWAYS!!!!!!!"

But then I walk a little further and notice a trail of water.  A trail leading to the toilet. The open toilet. 


Brandon had gone potty earlier and must not have shut the toilet. 

Then it hit me.  The rag that Codi was driving around was a little too wet. 


When Codi had wandered off he had grabbed the rag, played with it in the toilet and then dragged it all over the house.  Up the stairs, on the couch, and IN. HIS. MOUTH.

My son was sucking pee out of a towel.


I think I need to lie down!

I'm cancelling cable when they turn 16

I’ve been cleaning my house all day.  I get the bright idea to sit down for lunch and see what’s on, ON DEMAND.  Nothing.  Thats what.  So I decide to look at pay preview.  Here are the first things that pop up.

  1. Summer in Love in the Farm
  2. Chocolate MILF 4
  3. Swap the popshot
  4. Strip the Screw Me 4
  5. Girls who Love Girls
  6. Big Black Meat & His Beauties
  7. Wet Girls Come for You
  8. Bad Babysitters
  9. Chica Boom
  10. MILF Cruiser
  11. Taste Every Drop
  12. 5 Rocking Squirters
  13. Adult Guard Support
  14. BJ Bonanza
  15. Virgin Stimulus Package
  16. Trailer Park Hotties
  17. 18 & Easy
  18. Moms Turned Nymphos

Wow!  I’m totally canceling cable when my boys are older.  Also.  What is up with all the obsession with MILF’s and moms?  And seriously, Trailer Park Hotties….WTF. Looks like I won’t be renting a movie today after all!