This morning wasn’t any better. Brandon just pushed and pushed and pushed. His teacher says he is at what they classify as the "defiant age." No one told me being a mom would mean I would have a 3 year old toddler throwing things at my head, or laying on the floor kicking and screaming. No one told me that the things you see on Supernanny really happen. Kids really slam doors and kick their toys and throw their clothes. They really lay in bed shouting NO NO NO louder and louder until you feel like it might be easier to live outside under a tree then in a house listening to that fucking bullshit for one more minute.
It took 43 minutes for Brandon to get dressed this morning. Another 17 minutes for his teeth to be brushed. That is one hour of my soul that I will never get back. One hour where I walked away saying, "I am a total failure as a mom."
Mornings like this I feel like submitting my photo to Fail blog.
To end a little cheerier here is the conversation that took place between Brandon’s pre-school teacher and me this morning.
Teacher: Are you going to be here for the Easter egg hunt tomorrow?
Me: TOMORROW???? What do you mean tomorrow? I can’t do it. I thought it was Friday. Why would they do it on Thursday? Crap.
(At this point I whip out my Iphone and frantically try and load my colander to move things around)
Teacher: Shannon, you do know tomorrow is Friday right?
Teacher: You do know today is Thursday right?
Me: …… Um. I’m so confused. I have to go before I make myself look more stupid.
So. It appears today is Thursday, not Wednesday. It also appears that I had already failed the day before 9AM. How does that happen? That also means I have failed 4 out of 5 days this week and I still have a chance to fuck up tomorrow. Wanna make bets on whether or not I remember to buy toys for the kids Easter egg hunt at school tomorrow?