Dear son

Dear Brandon,

When I tell you to please go upstairs and get dressed that does not mean you should go stomping up the stairs and shout NO YOU GET DRESSED! 

It would be in your best interest to say something more like, "yes mommy dearest of course I will get dressed because I am a good well behaved little boy."

When I ask you to please stop stomping around upstairs and throwing things down the stairs the wrong response is to shout YOU’RE MEAN and throw a book at my head from the top of the stairs. 

A preferable answer would be, "I am sorry oh best mother of mine, of course I will behave like the sweet little boy you birthed four years ago."

When I ask you to please find your shoes so we can go to school, I would imagine you are not going to have much luck finding it by sitting on the floor with your arms crossed and your tongue sticking out at me.

I am pretty sure you will find your shoes faster if you put your fucking tongue backing your mouth, stand up and ACTUALLY LOOK FARTHER THEN YOUR NOSE!


Thank you,

Your loving mother.

9 thoughts on “Dear son

  1. When you actually get those responses let me know how you did it _ PUHLEASE!!!
    That is exactly what it sounds in our house. I am so used to hearing, “You are mean.” That one, I actually believe that I am and two, I tell him, “Thank you!”


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