When I ask you to please stop bouncing the ball off the table the appropriate response is "okay mom, I’m sorry." The inappropriate response is "Mom you stop saying stop I can do whatever I do!"
When I ask you to please stop jumping on my couch that does not mean wait until I leave the room and stand on my chair, jump onto my couch and somersault across the pillows. Trust me, that is exactly the opposite of what I asked you to do!
Attn smaller son: When I ask you to please taste a bite of macaroni it does NOT mean scream and cry and blubber and gag yourself from the fear that a macaroni noodle will KILL YOU DEAD and make daddy ask me to stop picking on you. Next time just taste the goddamn fucking noodle!
Brandon when you are hungry and you want some spaghetti the correct way is to ask if you can please have some spaghetti. The incorrect way is to say, "Mom I want some spaghetti so get me some now."
Further more, when I reply that I will get you some spaghetti please don’t say, "well get it then, now." This is not 1950 and I am not your bitch!
When I tell you to eat or I’m turning off the TV in the morning you should eat. You should just eat. You should not tell me NO and then when the TV gets shut off tell me "TURN IT ON NOW MOM, turn the TV on, I’m going to turn it on." As a bonus it is a bad idea to then "whisper" to your little brother to turn it on. When I again ask you to eat, please don’t shout, "BE QUIET, I’M REALLY REALLY EATING AND YOU STOP JOKING." Adding insult to injury to not stop groaning and growling at me and slamming your spoon on the table. News flash! This will not get me to turn the TV on faster!
Again to the little son: When I turn off the TV because your brother is being a little brat face DO NOT run over and turn it back on repeatedly while laughing at what you’ve done. You know it’s bad STOP GANGING UP ON ME!
Have a nice day.
P.S. Note to spell check, please please for the love of gosh will you learn that fuck is in fact a word, grab a Websters, look it up, I wouldn’t lie!