I never knew

I never thought I would be the first one of my friends married. I always assumed I would be 30 and still playing the game.

I never thought I would wish I hadn’t sold my fat pants.

I never thought I would utter the words, “put your poop down, that is not play dough!”

I never thought I would miss the slightly sweet smell of a newborns diaper.

I never thought I would file bankruptcy.

I never thought my life would become more informed and improved from bankruptcy.

I never expected to trade in y girly books to read the bible or books on money management. http://www.totalmoneymakeover.com/

I never knew that a four year old could poop that much.

I never expected to hear my son say “look how much I pooped, it’s big huh mom?”

I never thought I would have to tell another kid to take my kids poop out of his mouth.

I never expected to be the mom who wanted to bring the best preschool snacks just so I could win at preschool.

I never thought I would rely so heavily on a calendar and schedule. If I forget my Iphone my world collapses with out Ical.

I never thought I would be 27 and still not know how to spell calendar. Thank God for spell check.

I never thought I would grow up and think that putting a cute shirt over my pajama pants would be a perfectly acceptable outfit.

I never knew I would still be on drugs at this age, I just traded in recreational ones for legal ones. Wooohooo for being legal huh?

I never expected to prefer wine to chugging Aftershock straight out of the bottle.

I never thought I would spend the morning looking for shirts that cover my boobs rather then spend an hour figuring out which one would push them up and show them off the most.
 

6 thoughts on “I never knew

  1. I never thought I would yell at my kids as much as I do.
    I never thought I would actually cook dinner for my family. That is man’s work.
    I never thought that I would be so overwhelmingly consumed with everything involving my kids. I worry about food, clothes, school, etc. It is exhausting.
    I never thought I would enjoy staying home as much as I do. The first few months as a SAMH, I secretly wished I could go back to work. But now? I never want to go back. NEVER.

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  2. I never knew a haircut could make you cry so much. I never knew how much much my hair really meant to my self esteem. I never thought that every time things feel like they are going to fall apart, one more fucking thing happens. I never knew that one more kid was going to send my thoughts in scary overdrive. I never knew I’d grow up and just silently hate my husband when he’s being a dumbass.

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  3. I never knew I’d be married with a daughter and a stepson. I never knew I’d move back to my hometown. I never knew I would marry the guy from down the street that I had a huge crush on as a kid.

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  4. I never knew that I would grow up and work at the same shit hole for 9 years with the same dumbasses I can’t stand. Never thought I would still be with my highschool sweetheart and we would pay 1000 dollars in daycare a month. Never would have thought that I could love three people so much that I would kill for if they were ever hurt.
    LOVE this post! Thank you

    Like

  5. I never thought I’d have any sort of cleavage or a super strict dress code at work. I get the super strict dress code and my body decides to grow boobs. Dress code=0 hints at any sort of boobage.
    I never thought I’d live in a teeny tiny shit apartment by myself, yet now I LOVE IT.
    I never thought I’d marry a coworker–yet I am next June.

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