Do you ever feel like electronics are against you? Today all electronics were soooo against me.
First I was trying to print a brochure and Adobe decided to print two pages not one. The I put the first page in and flipped it and Adobe decided to print the first page again so I now had a two sided brochure with the same thing on each side. I attempted to reprint it and Adobe printed one page right side up and one upside down. I wanted to fuck that program up.
Later my dad came in and asked me to print something on my printer for him. So I hit print NOTHING. Hit print NOTHING. Finally told it to print in my moms office and no shit it fucking prints in there. Asshole! I open my printer and it says sending. Sending. Still sending. Ha ha, look you think I’m really going to send this but I never will but I will keep saying sending just to fuck with you.
A little later I’m sitting at my desk when my mom and I hear POP all loud. It came from somewhere near my computer, printer, calculator, plug, etc area but no matter what I do I can’t find where the pop came from. So I’m pretty sure tomorrow I’m going to find something blown up in my office.
Then my mom gets this fancy idea that she wants to take a computer to burning man with her, with our accounting program on it. This means I have to take the old ass laptop convince it to install our accounting program and then put our actual database on there. I’m installing the program and the fucking computer dies. I plug it in, but since it is so old it doesn’t just instantly charge up. So I have to walk away for 10 minutes and wait for the damn thing to charge. Finally it charges and I get the program installed. I connect to the network and manage to copy and transfer the file onto the laptop. Only now it doesn’t want to open, it wants to open the old one from our main database. That is not what I want since obviously she won’t be able to latch onto our network from Burning Man. I click and push and drag and drop and OMFG why won’t this fucking thing open. I yahoo our IT guy who decides to not answer. I start creating files. Deleting files. Moving files. Wondering how I can smash a file through the computer. Twenty minutes later I finally found the hidden new database file and made the fucking thing work. Praise the fucking Lord.
After that I set of to make a copy only to find the copy machine run out of paper. REALLY? Like really really? One more thing can’t work.
At this point I’m off work and I go to shut down my computer.
“Shut down cancelled due to error.”
Pull up the error. Do you know what it was? PRINTER ERROR. The asshole printer is starting shit with me again. So I open the force quit button and there is THREE printer errors. I tell one to force quit and it doesn’t. I call the printer a bitch. I tell it to quit again and it does. I tell the next one to quit and nope. Now I yell at the printer wondering why in the fuck it couldn’t be a printer made by Apple. Seriously Apple why can’t you make a fucking printer so then I know it would work right. I get that one to quit and tell the third one to. NOPE. I slam my pen down, walk away from my desk take a deep breath and come back. I grab my mouse and MASH the button telling it to quit again. It does.
I tell it to shut down again and it says okay shutting down. Only it doesn’t because Microsoft word (NOT MADE BY APPLE) won’t let it shut down.
Open letter to everything not made by Apple,
You suck big dick, go to hell, you know you are second best why don’t you just go hide behind the dumpster and eat worms and quit fucking with my day.
Really angry pissed off bitch who just wants to be off work.
In the end I got so mad I hard shut down my computer and walked out of that place.
Today was really not my day for electronics and now I’m about to cook dinner, does the oven count as electronics?