Last week I found out I won a ring from Billie of Bugs and Snails. It arrived in the mail today in the cutest box ever.

Here is my ring

(lets ignore the printer ink on my finger I was having a battle with my printer at work)

I immediately knew this was the PERFECT go out ring, in fact I knew what dress it would go perfect with.

Doesn’t it look PERFECT for that dress.

(disclaimer: Owner of this blog would like you to know that ring would go perfect with that dress if said blog owner could actually fit in the dress anymore, blog owner would also like to note that this picture was taken one year ago, please be advised this is what Lithium does to you, thank God said blog owner is now on a new medication so more then her pinkie can fit in said dress.  Thank goodness blog owner still fits in the shoes though huh.)

 

So, to pay it forward I will be giving away a ring also.  A few months ago I was asked to do some advertising for Tungsten Rings. They also sent me a ring to give away.  I chose this ring.  

I realize the ring is now on sale but I was stunned at the original price.  So, I will be giving the ring away to you.  The ring is a size six, has never been worn and is still packaged in the back I received it in.  I think it looks like a perfect simple wedding ring, or a very subtle every day ring.

In order to enter to win this ring I would like you to tell me one way you have paid it forward this year.  I will pick the winner by a random number generator. 

Thank you Billie, for the ring and inspiring me to pay it forward!

For any of you who have peanut allergies or have kids with peanut allergies I thought I would post this.

This weekend we purchased the above cereal bars.  I have all three boxes of those cereals in my house.  All three are PEANUT FREE.  When we purchased this we obviously assumed they would be peanut free since they are made with the same product.  However upon reading the label ALL THREE CONTAIN PEANUTS.  One has peanut oil and two have peanut flour. I was appalled.  Yes, I should have read the labile, but am I crazy to think that if cinnamon toast crunch is peanut free, obviously their cereal bar would be too.  Here is the ingredient list for the cheerio cereal bars.

Second line from the bottom of the ingredients list’s Peanut flour.  Yet there is none in actual Cheerios.

 

Additional most Chex products contain peanut flour.  Cereal and chex mix. Even their new cereal bars.

I think all of their cereal besides the plain corn chex do.

And their Chex mix.

I posted a couple days ago about wanting Country Apple lotion from Bath and Body works because it had been discontinued here.  Mandy commented telling me IT NEVER WENT AWAY IN HER TOWN!!!!!!!!

 

**Update** Mandy was so totally right, those fuckers never took it away only in my town and it IS available online and I will have to purchase about 500 bottles of it to make sure I never run out again!

You can imagine I’m just a little annoyed, how have I gone the last eight years NOT smelling like apples when I totally could have smelled like apples.

So.  I post a challenge to you.  The first person to find and send me one of the following items wins a $20.00 gift card to Starbucks.

New York Seltzer in ANY flavor

**AND**

Schweppes Raspberry Ginger Ale

Any one of the new International Delight Coffee house creamers.  I’ve seen ads, heard people talk about them BUT I CAN NOT FIND THEM.  I don’t think they exist.  I am particularly interested in the caramel machiatto flavor.  They don’t even exist on their website, but their facebook says they do.  SOME ONE HELP A GIRL OUT HERE!

My birthday is coming up.  And even though my husband and mom are the only ones who read this, that would buy me something, you guys get to read it too, so you can get a look inside my heart.

Thing one.

I used to have one of these.

Only I had a really nice one from the Nothing To It cooking school.  Did you notice the word used to?  These brushes are made of silicon.  They give an amazing even spread and THEY WASH EASY.  You know what else they do?  Provide an hour of fun for a certain toddler who discovered silicon bristles actually pull off one by one by one very easy.  Shit head I WANT MY FUCKING BRUSH BACK!

 

Next.  Sea salt. 

I get the most amazing sea salt in a little jar from the same store.  It cost about $11.00.  I can buy kosher salt at the store for about $5.00 so that is what I have been using.  Trust me, once you have used the good sea salt, you can never go back.

 

I know you will laugh but I want one of these too.

Know why?  Because Rob and I are on a budget and that means no $1.00 song downloads that I NEED while working.  It also means I can’t download the scrabble game on my iPhone without my husband giving me dirty looks.  Pfft!

Fritos Jalepno Cheese dip

Ooooh yeah.  Y’all didn’t know I was this ghetto did you?  Even though this stuff is far out of my spice range I am addicted.  However, it is $3.50 a can which is WAY to far out of my shopping budget.

You are not allowed to laugh at the next one.

Yeah that’s right, I want laundry soap.  Look.  This stuff is hard to find, and when I do find it, it is retardedly expansive.  I have to be honest here, I like my laundry smelling good.  I prefer to sit at work sniffing my delicious shirt.  WHATEVER I AM A NERD SO WHAT.  (also would like the fabric softener).  If you haven’t smelled this yet you are DEPRIVED.  Seriously, it is super mega delicious.

Stop laughing. 

No seriously, stop laughing, doesn’t everyone want laundry soap?

Pshhh whatever.

Aside from the silicon brush I have one more guilty pleasure.  Salt City Candles.  Oh dear God do they smell good. About two years ago I bought about 3 boxes of the votives and I am finally out.  They smell an entire house and well, they smell so good I have to stop myself from licking my candles. My friend got me one for a bridesmade gift a few years ago. It was Grapefruit Vanilla.  It was and still is to this day my most favorite flavor of all.

It smells like a little bit of heaven in a tiny candle.

Other flavors I can’t resist:

Cinnamon Vanilla

Fruit slices (summer flavor)

Golden Apple (summer flavor)

Orchard Peach (spring flavor)

Pear Berry (summer flavor)

Apple Cinnamon (winter flavor)

Vanilla Spice (winter flavor)

Okay so two things you might notice.  YES I have different scents for seasons.  Whatevs, we have already established I am weird.  The second thing is, yes, I refer to scents as flavors.  I’m sorry but smelling something is almost like tasting it and therefor it is a flavor! I keep my desk at home surrounded by the Grapefruit Vanilla it calms me down so much I don’t even get angry paying bills.  Try it something, stick one of these near your nose and I bet you will be happy to write that $300.00 check to your doctor.

I fully blame Ginger for the next one. She took me to this store where I discovered these Luxe Almond Candles.  I was hooked, unfortunately I bought them on sale and could never afford them since.  I am addicted to anything almond, so I blame Ginger for the empty cans of Luxe candles staring me in the face taunting me.

I bet you are wondering if I could possibly talk more about candles but GUESS WHAT I CAN.

I am also in need of the following.

Pretty much anything from this store (not lime verbena)

Stuff that comes to mind are

In case you were wondering yes I am a high schooler who must smell like fruit all the time.  In fact when they brought back the country apple recently I might have bought seven bottles of it because it hasn’t been out in nine years and I am ashamed to admit I have only one bottle left.

At the same store I also want to get married to, and have tiny candle babies with thisI will just tell you to shut up  now that yes I am talking about more candles but you also wouldn’t believe how fun work can be when you are sniffing pineapple orchid candles.

Rounding off the list would be a renewal to my Rachel Ray magazine (whatever we also established my ghettones) and my Cooking Lite.

In imaginary land I would like this

The Al Clad non stick super hero crock pot.

Since I was little I have loved Lynyrd Skynyrd. Back before they became all popular again I was doing reports in middle school about how the one person who was no longer alive that I wanted to meet was Ronnie Van Zant, the original lead singer of the band. My teacher looked at me kind of funny when I turned it in, but not as funny as my very prim and proper friends mom did in 6th grade when I started reciting word for word “Gimmie three steps.” As you can imagine, some parents might find the lyrics to that song a little inappropriate for a 12 year old.

Well the crowd cleared away
And I began to pray
As the water fell on the floor.
And I’m telling you son,
Well, it ain’t no fun
Staring straight down a forty-four.
Well he turned and screamed at Linda Lu
And that’s the break I was looking for.
And you could hear me screaming a mile away
As I was headed out towards the door.

Lately though my most favorite song is, “All I can do is write about it”

Well this life that I’ve lead has took me everywhere
There ain’t no place I ain’t never gone
But its kind of like the saying that you heard so many times
Well there just ain’t no plae like home
Did you ever see a she-gator protect her young
Or a fish in a river swimming free
Did you ever see the beauty of the hills of Carolina
Or the sweetness of the grass in Tennessee
And Lord I can’t make any changes
All I can do is write ’em in a song
I can see the concrete slowly creepin’
Lord take me and mine before that comes

Do you like to see a mountain stream a-flowin’
Do you like to see a youngun with his dog
Did you ever stop to think about, well, the air your breathin’
Well you better listen to my song
And Lord I can’t make any changes
All I can do is write ’em in a song
I can see the concrete slowly creepin’
Lord take me and mine before that comes

I’m not tryin’ to put down no big cities
But the things they write about us is just a bore
Well you can take a boy out of ol’ Dixieland
But you’ll never take ol’ Dixie from a boy
And Lord I can’t make any changes
All I can do is write ’em in a song
I can see the concrete slowly creepin’
Lord take me and mine before that comes
‘Cause I can see the concrete slowly creepin’
Lord take me and mine before that comes

About a year ago after visiting Oregon I found myself thinking I hadn’t seen enough of the world. But here I was now with two young kids and mostly broke so traveling was out of the question. I was kind of bitter thinking I was 27 hadn’t been anywhere and for the next 18 years I would be doing a lot of going nowhere. Shortly after that trip Ginger took me hiking up on Mt. Rose and I stopped at one point and thought, man, what else do I need to see? This right here in my own town is so amazing? Lake Tahoe is still one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been, and again it’s right here in front of my face.

Yesterday however my husband were outside sitting on the patio sharing a very rare lunch between only the two of us. We got to chatting about San Francisco and I laughed about the time my mom and I went down there and she took me to Haight-Ashbury. Rob looked at me and said, “yeah because that is somewhere a kid should be.” I must have been around 14 at the time, and I had to laugh because the same way I was singing Lynryd Skynyrd in elementary school, being at Haight street seemed totally logical to me, because that is who I was. I’m nothing if not unconventional. I told him about the little second hand stores we visited and the silly clothes I bought. I told him about my passion for Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead music. At one point while walking in San Francisco on that trip we came upon a giant hand painted mural of Jerry and of course I had to have my picture taken by it. Again, I laughed at my husband because, how could a trip like that not be normal.

Then we talked about the trip my mom took to LA. I was 16 and somehow came home with my belly button pierced. We went all over that town and again, some would say walking down the beach visiting different tattoo shops and getting pierced is a totally inappropriate trip, again, it couldn’t have felt more normal to me.

When I was small, I don’t remember exactly how old maybe six when I flew to New Orleans by myself and met up with my grandpa who then took me to Mardi Gras. I am assuming some would think having a 6 year old down at Mardi Gras at 11:00 at night is bad. But fuck I had a good time. And to this day I still have those beads. To this day I still remember the floats and catching the caramel candies they threw off. I also remember lots of boobs! My life is unconventional which has been proven so many times in my travels.

My senior year I went on a cruise to the Bahamas with a friend. We went to 5 different islands, swam with turtles, visited hidden islands and did things no 18 year old should do (like purchase the best bud ever from two guys visiting on the hidden island). I will never forget that trip in my life. Should my friend and I been on a ship mostly alone running amuck with bartenders letting us drink because we were 18 out on the water where there were no rules? No, not at all, but fuck am I glad we did that.

One year for Christmas my mom sent Rob and I to Mexico. We stayed in this amazing little room and walked around strange little towns and I watched as Rob at tacos from the raunchiest little hole in the walls. It was raining most of the trip but it made it absolutely beautiful. I will never forget walking around little towns and bartering for junk with Rob.

On our honeymoon we went to Hawaii. You can’t imagine what it is like to sit in your hotel restaurant that had no windows or doors because that would block the ocean breeze. We sat at our table with umbrella drinks staring out at the sunset and the ocean 10 feet away. For dinner we ordered our protein and then we were able to go to a giant hibachi grill and make our own food, sauces, sides, salads etc. It was the most fun I’ve ever had at a restaurant. One day we rented mopeds and drove around the coast to the aquarium where 50 First Dates was filmed. There were points on that ride that if the wind had blown just a little harder we would have flown off the cliff. You can never unsee the oceans of Hawaii from up atop a cliff flying by on a moped.

When Rob and I were first dating we took a trip to Monterey. It was about 4 months after we met and honestly I can’t tell you a thing about that town. We arrived at night and his friend lit a bonfire on the ocean. We walked around the ocean for a bit in the dark but the rest of the time we sat on a piece of wood, facing each other taking. Oblivious to everything and everyone around us. That was the moment I fell in love with him. I may not have seen an inch of that town but I will never forget it. Driving all that way just to sit by a bonfire for a night is not your conventional trip, but, our love is unconventional, similar to my life.

I went to New York two months after 09.11, which was a humbling experience. It was also the best pizza of my life. I can say I’ve eaten at Serendipity. I have ice skated at Rockefeller center. I’ve taken a stroll through Central Park. I have been to the port for Ellis Island (It wasn’t open yet after 09.11), I have seen the Statue of Liberty up close.

After putting some thought into it, I’ve actually been a lot of places. Lake Havasu with Shanna (1000 % inappropriate trip that still no one but her and I know the details of), other parts of Arizona, all over California, Oregon, a brief stop in Chicago, Arkansas(where I went through the most amazing forest, and discovered my first tick), Hawaii, Mexico, the Bahamas and so on. While I may never visit Italy or Europe or backpack somewhere exotic I have actually been so many places. It’s kind of funny how you can think you haven’t been anywhere and then when you really piece together the years of your life you find out that surprisingly you have seen some pretty amazing things. This weekend, sitting there talking to Rob recounting places I have been reminded me about my favorite song. Because maybe I haven’t been to the most glamorous places I have seen some incredible things. I guess I’m thankful for quiet moments with no kids, and just my husband to take the time to look in my head and remember some of the most important things that I have somehow managed to forget. Tell me, are there places you have been that you have forgotten to remember lately?
 

Two slightly used children who listen and take orders about once a week.  Specialize in making messes and making extra loud noises.  Not very good at sharing unless they are sharing tips on how to drive a person nuts. Will hide food in a moments notice, but don’t worry it doesn’t start to smell for a few weeks.  Great at mopping the floor with water spilled from their cups.  Juice also makes a great mopping solution and it leaves your floor extra sticky.  Don’t worry if you have carpet, banana mashes in nicely so it is barely visible.  Keep lots of coffee handy these two kids are experts at waking up at 1AM and 4AM because they want a drink.  Looking for something to cover that pesky hole in the wall look no further, these boys come equipped with extra boogers and are experts at picking them and wiping them all about.  The little one enjoys taking off his diaper and watering the lawn with pee.  Very useful for telemarketers as lying is one of their strengths.  

If you are interested please leave a comment below. 

I charge one bottle of asprin and a few Starbucks lattes.

How to piss Codi off in one easy step

 

How to make mom point and laugh at you in one easy step

How to make mom worry about ER costs in one easy step

Me: Brandon put away the cream cheese time for lunch

Brandon: Okay mom can I have one last bite

Me: Yes, one more bite k

Brandon: Okay I’ll get a big one

 

Thats one hell of a last bite huh.  Score Brandon: 10 mommy : ZERO

Somehow Brandon convinced me to let him stay home from school today and come to work with me.  I just walked in to find him hanging from the pole in my office closet.  Why? Because, and I quote, "we are monkeys mom."  Well, that clears that up.

Codi is at that stage where he wants to do what I do.  When I put deodorant on, I have to put it on him.  If I use body spray he needs it.  Lotion, you bet.  Which is why my SON often walks around smelling like fresh country apple lotion.  He just walked in the kitchen to find me spraying my glasses with Windex.  PEASE PEASE PEASE.  BELLY PEASE.  It took me a second to realize he wanted me to Windex his belly. I said no it was for cleaning to which he let out the longest please ever in the history of pleases.  Windex, really kid, your dream to day is Windex on your belly. 

My kids just spent 20 minutes yelling at me and getting angry because they each had a care bear puzzle but one was missing a piece.  The piece has been missing for months now, but that wasn’t acceptable to them.  Brandon had the puzzle with all the pieces so Codi had to yell at him and then yell at me for not finding the missing piece.

My office is mostly set up for one kid.  I have two beds in here, but only one table and one chair etc.  So Codi is currently trying to shove Brandon out of the chair so he can sit in it.  To protect himself Brandon picked up the table and put it in his lap, it was also turned sideways so it blocked the only path Codi could use.  Thus pissing Codi off he did the only logical thing and picked up the stool he uses for his easel and started smashing Brandons table and screaming at him.  This day would be a lot easier had I just remembered to bring a second damn chair over.

Codi has also yelled at me for not letting him put on my new Venom cinnamon lip plumping stuff.  Yes son, let me burn your lips please, that is just what I want to do.  Then he got upset because I wouldn’t let him eat my chapstick which was made worse by saying he also couldnt eat my cherry lip gloss. 

In a moment of stupidity yesterday I put the dark chocolate bar that Mathers bought me in my drawer.  Codi found it about 4 seconds after walking into my office today.  I put it on my desk which was followed by 20 minutes of Pease pease pease pease pease and when I still said no he went and got Brandon and they both ganged up on me.  I gave in and gave them each about a 1/2" x 1/2" piece of chocolate and told them to SHOO FLIES.  I hid it right away and for the last 10 minutes Codi has opened every single drawer 3 times wondering where in the hell the magic chocolate bar went.

Ya’ll it is only 10:30, I foresee a long day ahead of me!

This just in.  Codi just decided to rearrange my entire office and make a super mess.  But, he is wearing the cutes pair of little girls vintage white cat eye sun glasses with pink frames and tiny pink rhinestones that I am having a hard time getting mad at him.