I can't make any changes

Since I was little I have loved Lynyrd Skynyrd. Back before they became all popular again I was doing reports in middle school about how the one person who was no longer alive that I wanted to meet was Ronnie Van Zant, the original lead singer of the band. My teacher looked at me kind of funny when I turned it in, but not as funny as my very prim and proper friends mom did in 6th grade when I started reciting word for word “Gimmie three steps.” As you can imagine, some parents might find the lyrics to that song a little inappropriate for a 12 year old.

Well the crowd cleared away
And I began to pray
As the water fell on the floor.
And I’m telling you son,
Well, it ain’t no fun
Staring straight down a forty-four.
Well he turned and screamed at Linda Lu
And that’s the break I was looking for.
And you could hear me screaming a mile away
As I was headed out towards the door.

Lately though my most favorite song is, “All I can do is write about it”

Well this life that I’ve lead has took me everywhere
There ain’t no place I ain’t never gone
But its kind of like the saying that you heard so many times
Well there just ain’t no plae like home
Did you ever see a she-gator protect her young
Or a fish in a river swimming free
Did you ever see the beauty of the hills of Carolina
Or the sweetness of the grass in Tennessee
And Lord I can’t make any changes
All I can do is write ’em in a song
I can see the concrete slowly creepin’
Lord take me and mine before that comes

Do you like to see a mountain stream a-flowin’
Do you like to see a youngun with his dog
Did you ever stop to think about, well, the air your breathin’
Well you better listen to my song
And Lord I can’t make any changes
All I can do is write ’em in a song
I can see the concrete slowly creepin’
Lord take me and mine before that comes

I’m not tryin’ to put down no big cities
But the things they write about us is just a bore
Well you can take a boy out of ol’ Dixieland
But you’ll never take ol’ Dixie from a boy
And Lord I can’t make any changes
All I can do is write ’em in a song
I can see the concrete slowly creepin’
Lord take me and mine before that comes
‘Cause I can see the concrete slowly creepin’
Lord take me and mine before that comes

About a year ago after visiting Oregon I found myself thinking I hadn’t seen enough of the world. But here I was now with two young kids and mostly broke so traveling was out of the question. I was kind of bitter thinking I was 27 hadn’t been anywhere and for the next 18 years I would be doing a lot of going nowhere. Shortly after that trip Ginger took me hiking up on Mt. Rose and I stopped at one point and thought, man, what else do I need to see? This right here in my own town is so amazing? Lake Tahoe is still one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been, and again it’s right here in front of my face.

Yesterday however my husband were outside sitting on the patio sharing a very rare lunch between only the two of us. We got to chatting about San Francisco and I laughed about the time my mom and I went down there and she took me to Haight-Ashbury. Rob looked at me and said, “yeah because that is somewhere a kid should be.” I must have been around 14 at the time, and I had to laugh because the same way I was singing Lynryd Skynyrd in elementary school, being at Haight street seemed totally logical to me, because that is who I was. I’m nothing if not unconventional. I told him about the little second hand stores we visited and the silly clothes I bought. I told him about my passion for Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead music. At one point while walking in San Francisco on that trip we came upon a giant hand painted mural of Jerry and of course I had to have my picture taken by it. Again, I laughed at my husband because, how could a trip like that not be normal.

Then we talked about the trip my mom took to LA. I was 16 and somehow came home with my belly button pierced. We went all over that town and again, some would say walking down the beach visiting different tattoo shops and getting pierced is a totally inappropriate trip, again, it couldn’t have felt more normal to me.

When I was small, I don’t remember exactly how old maybe six when I flew to New Orleans by myself and met up with my grandpa who then took me to Mardi Gras. I am assuming some would think having a 6 year old down at Mardi Gras at 11:00 at night is bad. But fuck I had a good time. And to this day I still have those beads. To this day I still remember the floats and catching the caramel candies they threw off. I also remember lots of boobs! My life is unconventional which has been proven so many times in my travels.

My senior year I went on a cruise to the Bahamas with a friend. We went to 5 different islands, swam with turtles, visited hidden islands and did things no 18 year old should do (like purchase the best bud ever from two guys visiting on the hidden island). I will never forget that trip in my life. Should my friend and I been on a ship mostly alone running amuck with bartenders letting us drink because we were 18 out on the water where there were no rules? No, not at all, but fuck am I glad we did that.

One year for Christmas my mom sent Rob and I to Mexico. We stayed in this amazing little room and walked around strange little towns and I watched as Rob at tacos from the raunchiest little hole in the walls. It was raining most of the trip but it made it absolutely beautiful. I will never forget walking around little towns and bartering for junk with Rob.

On our honeymoon we went to Hawaii. You can’t imagine what it is like to sit in your hotel restaurant that had no windows or doors because that would block the ocean breeze. We sat at our table with umbrella drinks staring out at the sunset and the ocean 10 feet away. For dinner we ordered our protein and then we were able to go to a giant hibachi grill and make our own food, sauces, sides, salads etc. It was the most fun I’ve ever had at a restaurant. One day we rented mopeds and drove around the coast to the aquarium where 50 First Dates was filmed. There were points on that ride that if the wind had blown just a little harder we would have flown off the cliff. You can never unsee the oceans of Hawaii from up atop a cliff flying by on a moped.

When Rob and I were first dating we took a trip to Monterey. It was about 4 months after we met and honestly I can’t tell you a thing about that town. We arrived at night and his friend lit a bonfire on the ocean. We walked around the ocean for a bit in the dark but the rest of the time we sat on a piece of wood, facing each other taking. Oblivious to everything and everyone around us. That was the moment I fell in love with him. I may not have seen an inch of that town but I will never forget it. Driving all that way just to sit by a bonfire for a night is not your conventional trip, but, our love is unconventional, similar to my life.

I went to New York two months after 09.11, which was a humbling experience. It was also the best pizza of my life. I can say I’ve eaten at Serendipity. I have ice skated at Rockefeller center. I’ve taken a stroll through Central Park. I have been to the port for Ellis Island (It wasn’t open yet after 09.11), I have seen the Statue of Liberty up close.

After putting some thought into it, I’ve actually been a lot of places. Lake Havasu with Shanna (1000 % inappropriate trip that still no one but her and I know the details of), other parts of Arizona, all over California, Oregon, a brief stop in Chicago, Arkansas(where I went through the most amazing forest, and discovered my first tick), Hawaii, Mexico, the Bahamas and so on. While I may never visit Italy or Europe or backpack somewhere exotic I have actually been so many places. It’s kind of funny how you can think you haven’t been anywhere and then when you really piece together the years of your life you find out that surprisingly you have seen some pretty amazing things. This weekend, sitting there talking to Rob recounting places I have been reminded me about my favorite song. Because maybe I haven’t been to the most glamorous places I have seen some incredible things. I guess I’m thankful for quiet moments with no kids, and just my husband to take the time to look in my head and remember some of the most important things that I have somehow managed to forget. Tell me, are there places you have been that you have forgotten to remember lately?

8 thoughts on “I can't make any changes

  1. You have spent a lot of time in Idaho and you love the smell of it. You have been to Chicago we went to the Sears Tower and went all the way to the top. You spent a summer with me in Ventura CA. we spent almost everyday at the ocean. We went with Kirk to Albuquerque New Mexico and climbed down the Sandia Mountains we took the tram up and I only got 1 way tickets you and Kirk didn’t believe me till we had lunch at the top and then you guys went to the tram and I said we really have to walk down. You and Kirk had a water fight coming down with our water so we had none left half why to the bottom. When we got to the bottom Kirk went and hid behind a rock while we went into someone’s yard and got their hose to feel our water bottle. We soaked ourselves and then filled our water bottles then went to bail Kirk out I’ll never forget that trip. Don’t forget Yosemite when we went on that 3 hour long hike to the top of the mountain where the clear pools were. You and Kirk were really pissed off when you realized there was a back road that took ten minutes to walk down. Oops. You have had some good times in Vegas a trip with Kirk and not me that was almost your first Tattoo, we spent last Christmas there and then just a couple months ago with your friends. I’m glad you have got to travel around and I know there will be more good time to come because you know we have to go to Disney World.


  2. you think you havent been anywhere?? youve been everywhere!
    ive been to canada and france. my only times out of state. since i live in new jersey ive been in everystate on the east coast between vermont and florida. ive been to texas.
    and thats it really. ive been around a lot but i would LOVE to go out west someday!! i see pictures of the deserts and mountains and they seem absolutley gorgeous. i live on flat land so i dont get to see that.
    i know this is so random and you’ll probably think its creepy. but i remember you posted something a whileee ago. and it was a picture of rob and codi i think playing in your backyard. in the background you can see a mountain over your fence. i remember that picture because i think its friggen amazing!! in my backyard you just see another house directly behind mine.
    and yeah ive never been on all those awesome vacations. your lucky 🙂


  3. Holy crap, Girl! You’ve been everywhere! I love that you live an unconventional life. It makes it fun and so much more interesting!
    And. Oh. My. God. You HAVE to check out my blog. Right now! Go!! LOL! =P


  4. Holy crap, Girl! You’ve been everywhere! I love that you live an unconventional life. It makes it fun and so much more interesting!
    And. Oh. My. God. You HAVE to check out my blog. Right now! Go!! LOL! =P


  5. Wow! You have been all over! I’ve been to Florida twice, California Twice, Tijuana Mexico, NY once, Philippines 3x’s Hong Kong China 6x’s (just in the airport, haha.) Chicago. 6x’s (airport again, lol!) and a few other states close to PA. This year I get to go to Tokyo & Shanghai on my way back & forth to the Philippines- never been to those airports yet!


  6. Josh and I have been picking apart every shred of our relationship and lives lately. And I have to say that I feel the same way. We bought a timeshare a couple of years ago to encourage ourselves to get out of town more often, but geez, I am perfectly happy camping…and so we use our timeshare to go somewhere new every year for our anniversary. New York is on my list and Australia is on his list. My favorite vacation would have to be our honeymoon, where we went on a cruise to Mexico, the short cruise that stops in Ensenada and Catalina Island. It was so nice. We just wandered around exploring the whole time, enjoying each others company. Sometimes it is good to remind yourself of the good times, those are what get us through the bad times. Oh geez, I just remembered this trip we took right before we got engaged to San Diego. That was fun. Thanks for helping me reminisce…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s