My birthday is coming up. And even though my husband and mom are the only ones who read this, that would buy me something, you guys get to read it too, so you can get a look inside my heart.
I used to have one of these.
Only I had a really nice one from the Nothing To It cooking school. Did you notice the word used to? These brushes are made of silicon. They give an amazing even spread and THEY WASH EASY. You know what else they do? Provide an hour of fun for a certain toddler who discovered silicon bristles actually pull off one by one by one very easy. Shit head I WANT MY FUCKING BRUSH BACK!
Next. Sea salt.
I get the most amazing sea salt in a little jar from the same store. It cost about $11.00. I can buy kosher salt at the store for about $5.00 so that is what I have been using. Trust me, once you have used the good sea salt, you can never go back.
I know you will laugh but I want one of these too.
Know why? Because Rob and I are on a budget and that means no $1.00 song downloads that I NEED while working. It also means I can’t download the scrabble game on my iPhone without my husband giving me dirty looks. Pfft!
Fritos Jalepno Cheese dip
Ooooh yeah. Y’all didn’t know I was this ghetto did you? Even though this stuff is far out of my spice range I am addicted. However, it is $3.50 a can which is WAY to far out of my shopping budget.
You are not allowed to laugh at the next one.
Yeah that’s right, I want laundry soap. Look. This stuff is hard to find, and when I do find it, it is retardedly expansive. I have to be honest here, I like my laundry smelling good. I prefer to sit at work sniffing my delicious shirt. WHATEVER I AM A NERD SO WHAT. (also would like the fabric softener). If you haven’t smelled this yet you are DEPRIVED. Seriously, it is super mega delicious.
No seriously, stop laughing, doesn’t everyone want laundry soap?
Aside from the silicon brush I have one more guilty pleasure. Salt City Candles. Oh dear God do they smell good. About two years ago I bought about 3 boxes of the votives and I am finally out. They smell an entire house and well, they smell so good I have to stop myself from licking my candles. My friend got me one for a bridesmade gift a few years ago. It was Grapefruit Vanilla. It was and still is to this day my most favorite flavor of all.
It smells like a little bit of heaven in a tiny candle.
Other flavors I can’t resist:
Fruit slices (summer flavor)
Golden Apple (summer flavor)
Orchard Peach (spring flavor)
Pear Berry (summer flavor)
Apple Cinnamon (winter flavor)
Vanilla Spice (winter flavor)
Okay so two things you might notice. YES I have different scents for seasons. Whatevs, we have already established I am weird. The second thing is, yes, I refer to scents as flavors. I’m sorry but smelling something is almost like tasting it and therefor it is a flavor! I keep my desk at home surrounded by the Grapefruit Vanilla it calms me down so much I don’t even get angry paying bills. Try it something, stick one of these near your nose and I bet you will be happy to write that $300.00 check to your doctor.
I fully blame Ginger for the next one. She took me to this store where I discovered these Luxe Almond Candles. I was hooked, unfortunately I bought them on sale and could never afford them since. I am addicted to anything almond, so I blame Ginger for the empty cans of Luxe candles staring me in the face taunting me.
I bet you are wondering if I could possibly talk more about candles but GUESS WHAT I CAN.
I am also in need of the following.
Pretty much anything from this store (not lime verbena)
Stuff that comes to mind are
In case you were wondering yes I am a high schooler who must smell like fruit all the time. In fact when they brought back the country apple recently I might have bought seven bottles of it because it hasn’t been out in nine years and I am ashamed to admit I have only one bottle left.
At the same store I also want to get married to, and have tiny candle babies with thisI will just tell you to shut up now that yes I am talking about more candles but you also wouldn’t believe how fun work can be when you are sniffing pineapple orchid candles.
Rounding off the list would be a renewal to my Rachel Ray magazine (whatever we also established my ghettones) and my Cooking Lite.
In imaginary land I would like this