I was talking to my mom today about starting a chore chart for Brandon this week.  I did some googling, and found one I liked.  I found it at this blog.  The basics of her chart (or how I think I read it) are this.  Each day there are basic expected chores, brush teeth, take a bath etc, once it’s completed they turn it over and it says done.  I think if the kids complete their basic chores they get a set amount of money.  Then on the right side they have the option to do other chores, like cleaning something, or taking out trash.  Each of those chores has a value on the back.  At the top they have clean up tokens, so if they clean up a toy or mess before they start a new one they get and extra .10 for doing that.  At the end of the day they use their money to buy game tokens.  What the tokens are, are 30 minutes of computer or Wii time.  $1.00 equals 30 minutes.  On the bottom are smiley faces.  On the back are frowny faces.  What I think happens is if they aren’t being good or completing chores their smiles get turned to frowns.  3 frowns in one day means they can’t cash in their tokens.  They still earn them, they just can’t spend them that day.  

Here is her entire board

This is their game tokens once they earn enough they can buy them

This shows her extra clean up, and her additional chores (and her seriously good hand writing)

Here you see the kids basic chores

And their smileys

 

So here is my conundrum.  Brandon is only 4.  He is allowed to play Noggin on the computer but only on weekends.  I don’t think it would work having him buy computer time all week, because he wouldn’t understand losing something that day if he wasn’t good.  My mom and I discussed letting him earn real money and then taking him on Friday to the dollar store.  I still like that idea, but again, I really like the idea of something daily right now.  Kids attention span doesn’t last a week right now.  Brandon really doesn’t know the difference between Monday and Friday.  I feel that in the beginning I need to create a daily prize.  But it can’t just be one prize like desert it has to be something he can build up or earn.  Meaning if he sets the table, or shares with Codi he gets bonus points.  I can not for the life of me come up with something he could earn daily, that could be increased or decreased.  I also decided that if he gets write ups at school that counts as a frowny.  Instead of the clean up points I would do what they used to do in his old school which was called, "getting caught doing something good."  So if I walked in and found him sharing, or cleaning or helping Codi or whatever, he would get points for being caught being good.  In his old class each day if they were good they got stamps each time.  At the end of the week you got a ticket for every smiley stamp and then your tickets were entered in to win a prize.  I kind of think maybe he could earn "tokens" at the end of each day.  Then at the end of each week he could get a certain amount of money for each token to spend, but what could I do at night?   What can he buy?  I suppose I could do trampoline time or outside time  I dunno there just has to be something.  I still want him to earn money for his extra chores and basic chores, but I think he should earn the play tokens for completing all of his chores, and for every smiley left at the end of the day.  Whats your opinion oh wonderful bloggy universe.  

 

As a side note, this just came to me.  I do have a small bulletin board with a chalk board on the other side.  So at the end of each day he could make stars or tallys or something for his money or tokens and then see what he has.  I was thinking that each token should just be the same amount of money.  So he can talley up 40 tokens for the week and earn $2.00 or something.  It might be fun for him to watch his weekly tallies grow.  But I still want something to take away if he gets three frownys.  Maybe he doesn’t have to get anything special besides his money, but there has to be one thing he loses if he has three frowns at the end of the day. What could he lose?  Since it has to happen at the end of the night, I’m thinking all I have to take away is his TV that he watches while falling asleep after a bath.  That actually might work.  I know he would get super pissed if he couldn’t watch Wow Wow Wubzy after bath time.

 

The last thing I’m thinking is hanging a little baggie on the board.  At the end of the day he can cash his .05 tokens in for real change.  Then we can sit there and count them all out into the bag and on Friday he can change them in for paper money.  I think he would like watching his baggy fill up with money, plus counting money will make it fun but also teach him the value of money, earning and spending.

Apparently after three of those drinks there on the left I forget how much I hate to hug.

The four of us

 

I think Karen was trying to ground me from my drink after I lost my straw.  This was minutes before the male waiter with a red thong gave me a lap dance.

 

The sad part is, when Ginger saw this, she thought "I bet something happens with that thing and Shannon"

So three months later I post the ziti.  Here is the recipe.  Be warned, this is no fancy schmancy meal.  This is quick, cheap and easy food.  But it taste so fucking good.  And look y’all, I’m sharing this recipe with you on the condition that none of you mention anything about the excessive amount of cheese, I see my ass in the mirror every day, I’m totally aware of the cheese to noodle proportion.  So, go, eat, enjoy.

Dear mom,

Next time you go out of town for a week to Burning Man please do so during the winter.  I am so over tomato picking.  In fact if I never see another tomato in my life I will be fine.  Asking me to pick your tomatoes while you were gone was some kind of cruel joke.  There was no less then 80 cherry tomatoes today.  EIGHTY.  And probably a good 240 left to be picked.  You are out of your goddamn mind woman!  I will be shitting tomatoes tonight.  Everywhere I look I see tomatoes.  I no longer heart tomatoes.

Sincerely,

Never making spaghetti sauce again!

 

Dear Rihanna,

I really didn’t want to like you or your music.  I tried hard.  Very hard.  I held my ground for a long time.  But then, an old friend of mine told me to listen to your song, "take a bow" and I like it immediately.  You know a song is good when you like it immodestly.  I was mad.  I didn’t want to like your music.  Who was this girl downloading your song onto my ITunes and rocking you on my IPod?  I chalked it up to a fluke.  Everyone has one good song right?  Even after your stuff with Chris Brown I still didn’t like you.  Sorry, no pity music love from me.  But now, now you and Jay Z and Kanye had to come out with your new song "Run this town" and suddenly I’m telling everyone how great your voice is and playing your song on repeat and totally rocking out to you, and dammit, what the fuck I think I like you.

Love,

Ashamed and addicted

 

Dear Kanye,

Your lyrics are fucking hilarious.  I can’t stop walking around saying, "What you think I rap for, to push a fucking Rav-4." My husband has always hated you, but I knew you were awesome. And today, when my husband was laughing at your lyrics, "ass so big it will swallow up a G-string," I knew you had him too.  I love when I’m right and my husband ends up being sucked into my music.  Thanks for making me giggle often today.

Sincerely,

Not driving a Volvo

 

Dear Words for friends,

You were supposed to be like all the other IPhone apps.  Something that was fun for a day and then got bored with.  But I’m fucking sucked in.  I am playing while I cook, while I pee, while I eat and in bed.  The Scrabble lover in me is totally hooked.  I have new gamer friends in Texas and California and the Poconos and I swear you have never seen a fat girl run as fast as me when my phone is about to die.

Sincerely,

I just have one Z left

 

Dear Bra,

You are not doing your job.  Well maybe you are, and maybe my boobs are just too big for you, but I’d like to think they should fit nicely in a D cup rather then feeling like I’m trying to stuff a watermelon in a thimble.  I shouldn’t have to keep pulling you in and stuffing my boobs in.  Your straps don’t stay tightened so along with my boobs not fitting in you, they end up spilling you because you were made with cheap little strappy things that just slip down until the next thing I know I’m flashing nipple to the boy at the grocery store.  While we are on the subject of the grocery store, I thought your job was to contain my boobs, not allow them to totally pop out of my bra and shirt every time I bed over.  I do not appreciate bending over only to realize my used up nursing titties are sagging out my shirt like fucking cow udders.  Start doing your job you jerk before I burn your ass and become that lady walking around with saggy boobs in now bra whose nipples are visible through her shirt somewhere down her belly button.  Seriously do the world a favor and get your shit together.

Love always,

Saggy in Reno

 

Dear Dave Ramsey,

Okay so yes your book totally works, and my bills are suddenly all being paid on time and my husband and I are starting to save and everything is working but dude you should have made a chapter in the book titled, "DON’T HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK WHEN YOU BALANCE YOUR CHECKBOOK AND IT IS NOT NEGATIVE."  The last four weeks when I have balance my checkbook and it wasn’t negative, and there was actually more then $3.00 left in it I have totally gone crazy wondering where I went wrong because there can not possibly actually be money in my account.  Look, while I appreciate you being totally right, and making me feel like a moron for the last 18 years I was totally not prepared for this.  I have spent the last four weeks spending about 4 hours on every Friday searching for a mistake because clearly I can’t actually have money. 

Your friend

Not totally broke but totally confused!

When you ask where I am from, and I reply "Reno"

IT IS NOT OKAY TO SAY

"Oh, like the show, Reno 911, are your cops really like that?"

Really?  Like really really, do you really think our cops are really like that?  Do you actually think Reno is like that?  NO! No no no NO. 

Not like Reno 911

 

While I’m at it.  Learn to pronounce Nevada right please.  And also, no we are not all cowboys here, we do not all walk around with our guns, and our shit kickers and we don’t all ride horses.  I am not a fucking hillbilly thank you very much!

Pardon my absence we have had some interesting family stuff going on here, and believe me if I’m given permission I will so totally tell you all about it because…WHOAH.

In the mean time.  My husband just texted that his work friend and wife might come for dinner or lunch this weekend. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I’m a good cook.  I would go as far as to say, I’m a pretty fucking fantastic cook (fantastic cooks are allowed a few fuck ups here and there though).  When I’m cooking for family I’m good.  When my own friends come over I FREAK OUT.  I shit you not, if Ginger or my cousin Lisa come over I nearly have an aneurysm over what to cook, will they like it, will it be done on time, over cooked, under cooked…insert wine and valium here.  Then when they arrive I spend the entire meal frantically searching their meal for signs telling me if they love it or hate it.  Did they have seconds?  Did they push something aside, will the ever come back, did I fail??

So if I get that worked up over my own friends you guys can really understand how much I’m totally freaking out. I’ve suddenly forgotten every recipe I know.  I can’t remember a single good meal I’ve made.  Every thing seems yucky and gross and OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO COOK. 

Help!