My husband went out of town yesterday, my parents took the kids so I could have a whole day to myself. I had no car because Rob took mine and my mom had his so she could drive around the kids. Somehow I convinced my Ginger to take me to the gym and work out with me. We left around 3:30 and before I knew it after working out, swimming, dicking around in the hot tub and eating dinner it was after 7 when I got home. This means it WAS DARK. Some of you might know I have an eensy little phobia of the dark. It got worse. I walked in and realized I hadn’t alarmed the house. I wasn’t expecting to be gone so long so I didn’t even think about it. However, coming home, in the dark to an unarmed house WAS NOT OKAY. I immediately decided someone was in the house. I turned on the living room and kitchen lights and that was as far as I went. I wouldn’t go in my husbands room because it was dark and a killer could be there. I couldn’t go to the bathroom there because it was near his room. I couldn’t lock the garage because it was near there. I didn’t want to go upstairs because it was dark and the killer could be in the boys shower, or my room, or my bathroom, or closet or the boys rooms. So I froze on the couch and told Rob it was good I was home alone so they boys didn’t get killed.
The message that followed?
"I have to pee but I’m afraid to go to the bathroom so I think I’m just going to piss my pants instead"
Thirty minutes later I still hadn’t peed. Y’all I have issues. In fact it was much much much longer before I peed and I almost had a panic attack from it. Going to bed was near impossible too.
Honestly if Ginger didn’t have a dog at home that needed to be walked I would have begged her to have a sleep over at my house like a couple of teenagers.
Am I weird? Paranoid? What is wrong with me? How am I nearly 28 and I can’t be home alone?
Once, when I was bout 16 my parents were out late at night. I heard a noise outside came unglued and called my neighbor. I was so afraid they had to take me home with them because I refused to stay at home alone.
Once I came home in the dark and I slept on the couch because I refused to go anywhere in the house due to the possibility of a killer.
Last time I left every single light in the house on when I went to bed. However when I’m awake I leave the lights off so I can see outside. If I leave them on I can’t see outside but the killer can see in. Is there some kind of rehab for this shit? Is there anyone else as afraid as me? I think if I had, had the money I would have checked into a hotel. Maybe not because that involves a dark parking lot.
I am mental. I mean, more mental then we already established. I think I should have just spent the night at the gym instead.
Do you have any irrational fears?
I wish I could be more like this
And less like this