Dear Shannon,

I just wonder how many times in one day you can lose your fucking pen. It is a pen, it can’t go far. Maybe, before ripping your entire desk apart you should consider looking right in front of your face.

Also can you please tell me how one two year old can make a massive mess of your entire work place in 1 hour?

If you need to write an appointment in the book with pencil it would be a great idea to have lead in your pencil. It would be an even better idea to not let your two year old run off with your lead and hide it from you. Also please inform said two year old that my expensive pencil erasers are NOT gum.

Plan on having at least two cups of coffee to get through the day. If you don’t you are dumb and deserve the mid day caffeine crash.

Make sure your iTunes are filled with good music. Enya is just not going to cut it for these overly busy days.

You bought cute little folders for work USE THEM DUMBASS.

Try to remember to bring your cups and lunch items back home. It is pretty hard to bring a cup of coffee to work if every coffee cup you own is locked in your office at work.

Take the time to go pee. Holding it in for an hour so you can get more work done is not beneficial you will get a lot more work done if you aren’t busy worrying about how much your bladder hurts.

Hide your candy stash better. Once it is found, consider it gone!