Guilty as charged

I am so guilty. I am…AN UNSHOPPER! Dun dun dun. Do you do this? You know what I mean. You get to the store, try really hard to stick to your list but of course a few treats or other things you “need” slip in the cart. Then, by the end of the trip you find yourself digging around in your cart pulling stuff out you can’t afford. I am notorious for this. I once with shopping to Sams Club with some friends for my husbands birthday party . I picked up a big bag of cups, then 15 feet away I found a better deal on cups so I put them in my cart, pulled the other bag out and stuffed it in the spot I was. One of the people I was with gave me a look of total and utter disgust. She picked up the cups and ran back placing them exactly where they belonged, neatly stacked with the rest. The remainder of the trip was spent with me putting stuff in the cart, going two isles over and finding something that was a better price, or tastier, and removing what was in my cart only to have this girl pick it up, run five isles over and put it right back in it’s spot.

I do this at the grocery store all the time and it makes my husband crazy. Usually when I’m grocery shopping at the end of the trip about ten feet from the check out I will go through my cart and figure out what I don’t want and hide it all in a pile on a shelf. The worst I ever did was have the butcher give me a London Broil and then have Rob text that he doesn’t like that. I walked five isles over and shoved it on a shelf and went on my merry shopping way.

I went shopping with my friend Alli one day and I began unpacking and hiding my stuff. She asked me if I was “unshopping?” I was sooo excited to hear her say that. I WAS NOT ALONE. I was not the only person on the planet who did this. And since she did it too that totally made it okay. I loved shopping with her because we could unshop together. My husband did not appreciate my unshopping as much. I have even been known to shove a shirt or two behind some cereal boxes.

So. Yesterday at Walmart I made a big effort to unshop in the right area. I put my juice back in the cold area. I put my pork rub in the bbq sauce isle because that is the same, right” I had to put the coffee back in the right spot because someone was looking at me. I stuck the can soup near the chicken broth isle because broth and soup are basically the same. Towards the end I had a few more refrigerated things, so to be the good Samaritan that I am I walked to the front of the store where they have the cold cases of weird condiments etc and nicely put it all there. I was so proud of myself knowing that stuff wouldn’t be ruined.

So tell me do you unshop? Am I horrible person for unshopping? Do you have any naughty shopping secrets? Are you that person who steals a few grapes just to make sure they are safe (I am also guilty)?

In other news I was driving down the road listening to the radio when this song came on,

It is by Trey Songz – LOL

I love fisherprice.

804 335 0051,
LOL smiley face, LOL smiley face
(Soulja Boy Tell em)
804 335 0051,
LOL smiley face, LOL smiley face

Shorty just text me, says she want to sex me
LOL smiley face, LOL smiley face
Shorty sent a twitpic saying come and get this,
LOL smiley face, LOL smiley face

she message me on myspace told me she loved me, she txting my phone 4.30 in da morning

That is the chorus.  Umm.  Have we hit a new low in music when there is a song with LOL and Twitpic in the lyrics? It doesn’t even have a good beat so I can’t even rock out to the bullshit lyrics.

Then we brought this toy in for Codi this morning

This is Tumble Time Tigger.  He does cartwheels and hip shakes and head stands, while singing "Can’t Touch This."  Codi changed the lyrics to "Won’t Touch This."  Y’all he is terrified of this fucking doll.  He ran away jumped in my lap and yelled at it to STOP and go way. My mom and I were cracking up.  Of course we also turned it on about six more times because it was so funny.  What kind of kid is afraid of Tigger?

I have my meeting with the trainer dude today.  To do the evaluation.  Do you think I can wear spanx to the meeting?  He would probably know when he takes that little pincher thing to pinch my large amount of belly fat and tell me what a fatty mcfat I am.  But, maybe if I bought the skin color one he wouldn’t know.  However, I would have to buy them for my thighs too, because I don’t even want to know the circumference of my thighs, or arms, or waist.  I have tiny ankles do you think he will measure my ankles?  Everyone, say a prayer that he measures my ankles K, that way I don’t look like I’m made of 100% jello shoved in a balloon.  A very stretched out balloon..with C-section scars and cottage cheese legs.


17 thoughts on “Guilty as charged

  1. I totally ditched my cooking oil in an empty magazine rack at the checkout today because I realized my coupon was expired. I don’t do it a lot and I never ditch perishable items like meat or frozen stuff in random spots but I have been know to leave an item or two behind randomly. Mostly around the Target scanners when I find out the item was not the price I thought it was. I actually read an article recently saying that item ditching was up at all stores including people abandoning items in the virtual shopping carts online. Just part of the crappy economy I guess.


  2. Yes, I unshop ALL the time. My husband DETESTS it and makes me go all the way back and put stuff away. Thankfully, he hates shopping just as much and I rarely have him with me!


  3. Yes totally guilty of doing that. Sometimes even the things I really do need, I’ll feel a pang of guilt like, can I afford this? And just stick the item in whatever aisle I’m at. Which, I used to work at a shoe store and it always bothered me when people didn’t put stuff back in the right place- but I still do it anyhow!


  4. I unshop; but sparingly. I’m pretty good about going into the store and either A) grabbing everything I need or B) if I overindulge on junk feeling no remorse about it (that is until I have everything home & unpacked).


  5. I worked at a grocery store for a few years, and I hated putting away unshoppers mess! But yea…I’m a hypocrite. Who wants to go back down 17 aisles to put away some barbeque sauce?


  6. I do that all the time! I always leave stuff anywhere in a store. In my defense I worked at Kay-Bee Toys for 5 long years cleaning up after other people & their kids who left toys everywhere in the store. It’s payback time! LOL!
    Tigger sucks…I hate Winnie the Pooh & all his friends! (Also a strong dislike formed during my KB days!) All other toys I like…well except Elmo…he sucks too! 🙂


  7. I never unshop at the grocery store, mainly because I tend to stick to my list (I go shopping with my husband, and he is a party pooper). However, I do unshop at Target. I always end up spending twice and much as I intended to, even after I unshop.


  8. Head’s up… Dooce is on Dr. Phil this afternoon!!! (Debating stay at home or working mommy-hood!)
    Also if you have as strong desire to waste a chunk of your day (and laugh your ass off or gasp in WTF) check out:
    and please shannon… just for me… go to youtube and check out “suburban housewife” should be a soccer mom rapping (beware of cursewords)…
    these gave me giggles today! Perk up!


  9. Yes, of course I unshop. 🙂 All the time. But not on cold/frozen stuff. I always put that back where it goes…or at least in a similar place so it doesn’t get ruined.
    Then one day I was having a super shitty day and started retail therapy at Target. Then I decided that I didn’t have the money to spend so I just left my entire cart in the scrapbooking aisle.


  10. ok, so yes, i unshop sometimes. like…if i feel guilty about buying something that i don’t need, or like you mentioned—find a better deal. but, i usually put the item back where it belongs.


  11. I am 100% guilty of this, too. But now I have Nick. Nick, AKA the man who will take the things I choose not to purchase and make me wait while he puts them back where they belong. Lesson learned. You would have thought I would have figured it out from having worked retail… nope.


  12. I definitely do not buy everything I put in my cart all the time, but I seperate it in my cart as I figure out I’m not gonna buy it then when I am checking out I give it to the cashier. I would give anything for the people who get to check out and give me all their stuff they don’t want. It is SO much better than finding it somewhere days later. And who’s crazy enough to leave out frozen or fridge products? Or way worse, those who return food! Do they realize that these get thrown away (charged back)? What a waste! Misguided Mommy, if the checker is rude F them. You’re doing them a favor by giving it directly to them rather than stashing. It would be impossible to believe everyone will buy all that they grab.


  13. Spanx to meet your trainer?!? I love it! Hell yes, go for it! =P
    I haven’t heard that song, but I’m thankful for that having read that… twitpic and LOL. Let’s be a bit more creative, k? Shhesh!
    I TOTALLY unshop! LOL! I’ve usually got three kids with me and want to get out of there as soon as possible. Besides, I’m just giving the employees more work. More work means more reason for them to keep the employees on. LOL!


  14. I am totally guilty of unshopping!
    That is too funny about Tigger. Ellie got a tickle me Elmo doll for her first birthday and it is still in the closet. She is deathly afraid of it!!


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