About a month ago my husband texts me saying that his work is getting rid of a big box of toilet paper.

"They are just throwing it away babe."

I asked him what kind, was it good, was it soft?  He said it didn’t matter he would put it in his bathroom.

HIS BATHROOM

You know the one downstairs.  That he uses, that I use, that our kids use and that EVERY SINGLE VISITOR TO OUR HOUSE USES!

Here he comes home with the biggest box of SINGLE ply toilet paper ever. 

First.  Did you know you need to use about 4 times the amount of single ply toilet paper as you do triple ply.  Huh, seems like a company would save a buck buying the nice shit to start with.

Anywho, I’m over his cheap ass toilet paper.  I feel bad for my company who come here to have a pleasurable bathroom experience only to have them end up shredding their asshole with my husbands FREE single ply toilet paper.

Honey, next time take the toilet paper and find some nice young kids to give it to, let them go toilet paper someones house with it mmmkay.

Love,

My delicate girl parts need softer tissue please

Yesterday in class Brandon’s teacher had them write what they were thankful for.  I was sitting there with him and here is what he came up with, and in the order he came up with them.

1. Transformers

2. Papa

3. Murma (my mom)

4. Daddy

5. Mommy

6. Legos

I AM NUMBER FIVE!!!

Transformers came before everyone. 

Little shit.

This is what we had for dinner…low fat and low cal (unless you cook it like me)

Chicken Tortilla Casserole

Am I the only one who notices something so very wrong with this?

I mean…imagine if you and your husband both look at your checking account and you have to tell him the answer for that in order for him to log in?

Right.  Because any woman will tell the truth on that answer huh?

When Ginger and I were little my mom got us hooked on the vianetta ice cream

It has been YEARS since, we haven’t seen it in AGES.

So last week I’m walking by the dessert isle and OH FUCK THERE IT WAS.

I immediately snapped  a picture for ginger and grabbed two for me.  Now I am afraid they will discontinue it but I’ll look forward to a good after work treat with this crispy crunchy smooth shit.  Oh boy.

Anyone in the Reno, Sparks, Carson area might want to pass on this link

I found it on Craigslist

The Carson City Nugget is having its annual FREE THANKSGIVING MEAL. Anyone is welcome. Bring only yourself or bring the entire family. Please take advantage of this wonderful offer or tell those who are less fortunate where they can get a great FREE THANKSGIVING MEAL.

November 26th, 2009.

Carson City Nugget Ballroom

11:00am until 2:00 pm

MENU Includes:

Salad

Turkey and Gravy

Mashed Potatoes

Candied Yams with Marshmallows

Green Beans

Traditional Cranberry Relish

Sausage and Apple Stuffing

Pumpkin Pie

Apple Pie

Cherry Pie

Coffee

Rolls and Butter

Have you ever picked a booger so big you were worried you might have pulled out your nose ring?

No.

Um, me either.

I have to shave my legs before I wash them

I have one black hair on my boob and it drives me nuts, thank God I haven’t cut off my nipple shaving it

I used to have my nipples pierced

My belly button has been pierced three separate times

I love my toenails to be clean

I won’t touch my feet

I believe that brushing my teeth in the shower gets them cleaner then in the sink

I have a hard time remembering to floss

Every time I go to the dentist they catch me

I hate the Stairmaster, and if you see one on fire, to quote Dre and Eminem, When the cops show up I’ll be next to a burnt down Stairmaster, with a can full of gas and a handful of matches still wasn’t found out!

I may or may not have rocked out to that song by Poison on the way home EVERY ROSE HAS A THORN, JUST LIKE EVERY COWBOY HAS A SAD SAD SONG.

I am embarrassed I knew who sang that song

I secretly love Cher

A LOT

I am obsessed at becoming a champ at the Plank position at the gym

I shook like a leaf the other day trying it

I have tickets to the midnight showing of New Moon Thursday night.

I am tempted not to drink anything the entire day so I don’t risk having to pee while Edward is on the screen.

I burned myself cooking last night…how am I still such a rookie

It took me forever to write this blog because I never have time anymore

I am so behind on reading blogs

Please don’t leave me…I’ll try and read better

I am wearing some cute tights with my CFM boots, on anyone else these would be cute, on me..it looks like I stuffed sausages into a black patterned casing

My four year old is the captain of whineville

My two year old is mayor of tantrum land

Can I be the President of take a hot bath, eat bon bons, drink wine and relax world