Or rather a rock in my shoe. Have you ever been walking and felt a rock in your shoe? Twice in the last seven days this has happened to me and TWICE I couldn’t find the fucking rock. Last week I had a rock in my gym shoe. About the size of a half grain of rice. I got on the treadmill hoping I would be able to ignore the rock. I made it through the walk but when it was time to lift weights the rock was driving me nuts. I sat down on a weight bench and took off my shoe. I shook and shook and shook my shoe and nothing came out. At that point I thought maybe there was no rock, my there was a thread or something out of place in my shoe. I put it back on, took one step and there was the goddamn fucking rock. So, I sat back down took off my shoe and shook and shook again. This time I whacked the bottom of my shoe hoping maybe the rock was stuck and it would loosen. Again no fucking rock. I gave up and for three days that rock bothered me and then one day IT WAS JUST GONE!
Enter today. I put on my new Uggs and A ROCK. I wanted to scream. I took off my shoe, and shook it while walking. I put it on and the rock was gone. About ten steps later there was the asshole rock. I repeated this sequence about 9 times before giving up and really banging my shoe against a wall. No rock. Then it occurred to me, my slippers are lined in fluffy furry type stuff meaning it’s like a little breeding ground for a rock to hide. No matter what I did I realized that rock wasn’t going to come out. NO It was going to play hide and seek with me. I think the little rock is laughing at me now.
Does this ever happen to you? Have you ever spent so much time searching for a rock you found yourself wondering if maybe you weren’t just crazy and inventing a rock in your shoe. Because right now, I am feeling a little like I feel an imaginary rock in my shoe while I walk. And you guys, if I really am creating a imaginary rock in my shoe, well shit, I’ve gone crazier then I ever thought I was.