I’m done with winter Reno. Look. 10 Days ago I was parading around in a tank top and flip flops. The next morning fucking snow boots, long pants and jackets. I’m not impressed Reno. I am ready to spend the summer days in my little room with the windows open letting in the fresh air and warmth. I DO NOT enjoy having to leap through puddles and snow banks to get into my room. The middle of this week things were a little better. I didn’t need seventeen layers including my Eskimo undies just to go outside. And then this!
More specifically THIS:
Note the SNOWFLAKE there. Mother fucker! The goddamn snow just left and here it is. IT IS BACK. If that isn’t bad enough it started dumping rain on me today while I was trying to go to the store. There is nothing like walking through a parking lot with your glasses so drenched in water that you can’t tell that you are trying to unlock someone elses fucking car since you can’t see a goddamn fucking thing.
It’s time for summer Reno. You can hurry up and be 107 degrees out please. And I know what you’re saying, "but Shannon don’t you complain when it’s hot too?" Yes I do. And guess what it’s my blog and I can contradict myself if I want. I’d rather be walking down the street loading with boob sweat and my thighs freshly coated in Va Va Vanilla deodorant then spend another miserable day in this fucking weather.
Now your thinking, "but Shannon don’t you work for a heating company? Don’t you like the snow?" Yes. Sure. Fine. But guess what I like the heat more. Know why? People can go with out a furnace. You don’t have a furnace, build a fire. Don’t have a fire place, turn on your stove and stand in front of it. Don’t have any power, put seventeen more blankets on. Don’t have blankets, have sex, that makes you warm right? But in the summer HA. People CAN! NOT! BE! HOT! I’m telling you. They get all cranky and demanding and mean and bossy and so help your soul if you answer the phone to a pregnant woman with no air conditioning. Whoo, and a pregnant woman with other kids with no A/C just run and hide now. The point is, heat wins. I want it to be warm. I want to wear all of my cute spring shoes. The ones with straps and heals and fun colors. I want to wear my cute dresses. Dresses that don’t involve tights and a long sleeve shirt and Uggs and seven pairs of long johns.
I want my sun back Reno. You’ve been put on notice Reno. Get your shit together or else!