**If you don’t know who Steve Jobs is, your a fucktard (thank you Jen Lancaster for a new favorite word), so here, learn about my new #4 Steve Jobs.

***To explain my list of five go here

Today Rob and I went snowboarding wåith my cousin Chris up at Homewood resort.  When we arrived I stuck my phone in my pants pocket.  I didn’t like it there so I crammed it in my sports bra like always.  Two runs down the hill MY PHONE IS GONE.  You know, my iPhone.  My life, my third child, MY EVERYTHING.  Robs first reaction was to throw my ass down the remainder of the hill and then take me back up the lift just so he could throw me down again.  We back tracked everywhere (twice), asked all of the lift instructors, and even went all the way down to ask the office.  No such luck.  Suddenly a lightbulb went off in my head.  Two years ago my mom bought me a program called Mobile Me.  This program is the shit because it allows my phone to synch with my work computer, but then allows it to synch to any iPhone I designate and any mac, plus I can access it from any computer.  This means that I can put appointments in my computer at work and it will automatically drop it into my phone, Rob’s phone any my home computer.

This app also does one other VERY IMPORTANT feature.  It has a built in FIND MY PHONE feature.  So we go into my cousins office on the mountain and tell it to find my phone.  It finds Rob’s but tells me mine is offline.  I was crushed.  We had searched more times then necessary and the phone was gone.  The Mobile Me program also gives me the option to turn the sound on my phone (even if the volume is shut down), and send a message with a beeping noise in case it is found.  Then I can lock it, so no one can open it, and finally I can choose to wipe it all out, with one click of a button.  After leaving there we located someones camera on the floor so we returned it to lost and found.  Still no orange iPhone turned in.

We went to lunch and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.  On top of the loss of my very expensive phone (I was starting to wonder if I could go harvest my eggs and sell those to replace my life line) my 13 year old snowboard boots were kicking my ass.  Every time I go I come home with swollen ankles, hurt shins and mashed up little toes.  We tried every thing this time.  Tightening my boos (ouch ouch ouch cry waaaaaaaaaaaaaa), turing the directions of my bindings, (still fell a lot even after that), and then loosening the boots.  While we were at lunch I grabbed Rob’s phone and went back online to see if my phone would appear.

IT DID.  I couldn’t believe it was true so Chris took us back to his office and let me log in.  IT WAS THERE.  It showed it near a road.  On top of everything I was able to click satelite view  and we were suddenly able to see exactly where it was. EXACTLY.   It was at the top of a lift.  Someone had turned it in within 10 minutes of me looking.  The girl called up to that lift and sure as shit THEY HAD MY PHONE.  I nearly died.  IT WORKED!  My fancy ass little program worked and I found it.  At that moment I was so happy because Rob always laughed at my expensive little cell phone program and look, that $99.00 program just saved us $499.99 in replacement costs.  The rest of the day rocked.  We were aall on such a high from finding my phone that everything else just seemed great.  We all swore it was karma for turning in the camera we found.  

Now I’m home and thrilled as ever to have my phone (I won’t let it out of my site).  But I’m also broken.

That would be my swollen ankle from the bullshit boots I have.  Both ankles look that way.

Since swelling isn’t enough I came home with a few fashionable marks on me too.  

Moral of the story.  Make your husband whose pant have too many pockets, hold your phone.  

This is also a lesson to all of you idtios, Non Mac lovres out tere,  you so couldn’t have done that on your phone.  Which is precisely why some day Apple is going to take over the world and people like me will be using blackberries to wipe my ass!

To make matters worse  woke up with a knee looking like this

 

If you want an idea of how my Mobile Me worked here

First it shows you a location.  You have the option to zoom in and and out. 

Then in situations like yesterday where it just showed us mountain, you can turn it to satelite view to get a better idea of where on the mountain it is

You can zoom in closer and closer to find it.

 

 Finally, if it is far away from you, you can send a message to the phone that will display anytime it is opened telling them to call you, or how to return it.  On top of that, if the volume is off you it will force it to beep for 2 minutes.  Now here is where it gets really cool.  I often lose my phone at home while it’s on vibrate.  What a great way to locate a lost phone at home.  From there you can lock the phone so it cannot be opened without your password and if that isn’t enough you can totally erase the entire phone from this website.  Pretty fucking awesome huh!