Parenting at its finest

Both of my kids are picky eaters.  Well Brandon isn’t anymore but he used to be.  Both of my kids are also very skinny.  Brandon was in the 10th percentile for weight for almost three years and Codi spent a whole year in the 3rd percentile.  Their pediatrician was pretty clear on the matter:

1. If they want to eat it let them, as long as they are eating something

2. Anything bad for a woman on a diet is good for them right now

I guess I took that a little seriously huh?  The other problem is that my kids have a way of getting other things in their mouth that aren’t food.  But the biggest problem is papa, he lets them have anything because he is wrapped around their finger.  I only wish I had a picture of Brandon at 3 months old when my dad tried to feed him a chocolate doughnut. 

Once upon a time Brandon found a tub of butter in the fridge and decided it tasted good.  He not only ate over half of the tub of butter, he also stripped totally naked, covered himself in butter and started sliding around on the kitchen floor at my work.

Codi just has issues with getting the food in his mouth.  This past summer he pretty much lived on pop-sicles while teething.  He came home stained a different color every day.

But once, the little shit mistook a stamp pad for something delicious.  He was so fucking pissed off when I had to clean all of this red off of him.  My niece was supposed to be watching him…oops.

Cream cheese.  From day one.  Yes, that is my son eating a bowl of cream cheese with his fingers.  No need for crackers, a bagel or even a spoon.

I will never understand why it is so hard for kids to just get the ice cream in their mouth.  And yes, that was his dinner…but he ate right???

Brandons second Halloween we stopped by my grandmas house.  She gave him a Hershey’s bar.  On the way to another grandmas house I let him have a piece while we were driving.  Rob got mad and said I shouldn’t do that, because he could make a mess.  I told Rob to shove it.  About three blocks from our destination i suddenly smelled chocolate.  Then I thought wait, I SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO SMELL IT.  We pulled over and this is what I found.  I guess Rob was right.


A while back at the grocery store Brandon was going on and on about being hungry.  I asked what he wanted and of course he replied "cream cheese."  Being the A+ mom I am of course I obliged!

About a year ago my dad was watching the boys.  Rob came home to find out that papa had indeed fed them dinner.  Brandon wasn’t quite finished with his yet.

But was it the popsicle or the high lighter?


When Codi won’t eat and starts losing weight I have one full proof plan. CHOCOLATE!

This was their dinner one night when we were out at the rib cook off.  Excellent dinner eh?

We can’t have peanut butter anywhere because of Brandon’s allergy BUT we do have tons of soy butter.  Surprisingly Codi likes it.  Usually he dips his apple in it.  But some times he says fuck the apple, screw the utensils I’m using my fingers!

And there might have been one accidental incident where Codi might have possibly eaten a little bit of dirt.

What I learned?  Never leave Brandon alone with pudding again!

Hey look, that was vitamin fortified milk GO ME for being healthy…too bad Codi didn’t realize the milk box wasn’t a sippy cup.

To reiterate…papa feeds the boys excellent dinners!

3 thoughts on “Parenting at its finest

  1. LOL. Bayley is a picky eater too and sometimes she wants a small bite of a LOT of things. She’s tiny so I am happy to give her whatever she’ll eat. She’s 2 and weighs 24 lbs.


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