My inbox will be empty

Every morning I wake up with about 26-30 emails.  Every morning without fail I get really excited thinking this is the day you are all going to see how witty and funny I am and leave a bunch of comments, but alas, every morning it's spam mail.  I've gotten tired of it and decided it's time to UNSUBSCRIBE from all this shit.

Babies R Us???  I don't have babies anymore, get out of my email.

Smith Micro??? I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE WHY ARE YOU EMAILING ME TO BEGIN WITH?

Apple??? Of course you can stay my sweet precious little baby I heart you, never stop sending me tempting emails ever.

Toys R Us???  WTF I have to unsubscribe from both you and Babies R Us NOT NICE.

Vista Print??? Dude I'm not going to buy business cards from you please stop sending me an email telling me this is the LAST TIME YOU WILL EVER OFFER FREE BUSINESS CARDS EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD only to send me the same email 4 days later.

The businesses who really piss me off are the ones who hide the unsubscribe link in the text.  They make it the same color as the background so I have to mouse around the page to find it.  Or the use fishy text & wording to trick me into subscribing for even more stuff.  Or the ones who word the fine print so poorly I can't even tell where to unsubsribe or if I'm even allowed to.  It's like they want to trap me in their email list for life. 

Unsubscribing from some of this shit is about as hard as Chandler quitting the gym.

 

2 thoughts on “My inbox will be empty

  1. Im sure as hard as it is to get your phone number on the fucking no call list. O thats right its on there the fuckers just don’t stop calling

    Like

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