It is my own fault my couch was covered in vomit

We are all sick at my house.  Okay not true, husband hasn't vomited yet….YET!  Yesterday Codi finally caught the bug.  He was laying on the couch, sat up and vomited.  Here's where it gets interesting.  Brandon had already done a number on my couch covers.  He had vomited on two of them and two pillows.  He had also vomited on two towels.  So I had a blanket covering the remaining cushion cover and pillow.  Codi started vomiting and I ran over and caught all of it in the blanket.  I was so happy with myself.  Supermom HELL YA.  I got him off the couch and undressed and then went to roll up the vomit covered blanket.  Somehow instead of softly rolling it up, I managed to FLIP the side full of vomit thus spraying chocolate brown puke all over my one remaining cover, pillows and NON COVERED COUCH CUSHION. 


I kinda froze.  My mom grabbed the couch cushion ran outside and went to hose it off.  Then she stopped and asked if I wanted to take a picture for my blog…You will all be happy to know I declined to take a photo of the vomit covered cushion.  Everything went in the washer and I was left with only one couch cushion. 

Lets tally this up.  Since Wednesday last week the following have been washed:

Couch cover A x2

Couch cover B x1

Green pillow A x2

Green pillow B x1

Rainbow towel x3

Blue towel x1

Couch cover C x1

Rugs x3

Sheet set (Brandons room) x1

Favorite blanket x1

Rags x 1100438849093827

It is also worth noting that the dog has parasites and his medicines are causing him to have diarrhea (someday I wanna spell that without spell check), so I have also cleaned the carpet twice, the entry, the entry rug, and the door jam (yeah how did he shit there). 

I have whooping cough, my mom too.  That means the cough medicine I've been guzzling has done nothing but laugh at me. It's also worth noting that I've had to change my undies about 17 times from cough induced peeing.  I've also puked in my hands, on myself, in my hall and in my mouth because the trash in the downstairs bathroom was moved into the downstairs living room without me knowing, so when I had to puke while peeing I was totally screwed. 

What else? 

Coughing has my my throat so raw it feels like it's bleeding and peeling.  I have no throat lozenges so that's been great.

My husband went out of town over night which was awesome because it was the night my five year old decided to have the sleep shits.  Three times he woke me up to tell me his butt felt wet.  Three times I had to change him and help him back to bed.  Twice he woke up Codi who I also had to convince to go back to bed.  Both times woke up the dog who wanted to just bark and make noise waking both kids up again.  I guess when your five year old hasn't eaten in three days and only drank water he's gonna pee out his butt.  I felt pretty bad for him, he had no idea it was happening. 

The dog has had a heyday with all of the tissues.  He has managed to get at least 73 out of the trash and shred them all over the house.  Nothing more fun then cleaning up vomit and snot covered tissues from every crevice of your house.

I look ridiculous.  Husband tried to talk to me on our phones with Facetime and I wanted to cry at how awful I looked.  I was sure he wouldn't come home after seeing me.

I haven't run in 8 days.  The last run was awful (still not telling you why) and I've been sick as a mother fucker so running is just no good.  Ran about 10 feet with the dog today and nearly died.  Need to get my ass in shape though or I'll die during the odyssey

That's all for now.  I need to clean up some shredded tissues and find out where my kids have puked now.

Have a nice day.  I sure am!

6 thoughts on “It is my own fault my couch was covered in vomit

  1. Have you gotten antibiotics for your whooping cough? That would help some.
    And yikes, whooping cough can last for months, can’t it?
    Feel better!


  2. The sad thing is that this is all true. This is the most distgusting turn of events that I’ve ever heard of. Next to of course the poppi issue that we had in the office that one day. That was so …. I cant even think about it without wanting to vomit. I hope you all are doing alot better now. Poor little guys. :*(.


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