A while back ago I posted about Jack.  The man who changed my life. Well not just him, his son whose words at the funeral changed my life just as much.  I wanted to update you on how that is going.  

IT IS GOING GREAT!!!

A million times a day I find myself asking, "What would Jack do Shannon."  (WWJD)

I told Jack's son I was going to get a tattoo of Jacks signature on my arm and he told me NO NO NO Jack would not like that.  Two days later this arrived in the mail:

This may seem like nothing to you but if you know me you know I don't wear any jewelery but the four pieces I've worn for the last 11 years.  A silver bracelet from my best friend in 8th grade, a ring made from a quarter from my mom, my wedding ring and a cross from my grandma.  I don't like jewelry.  I don't wear it.  It bugs me.  So imagine how I felt when I put this bracelet on and it felt….like it had always been there.

When I'm mad at my kids, and I feel like I'm losing patience I look down at that bracelet, stop and re-evaluate the situation.  I ask myself, "is it worth it?"  And usually it is not.  Last night Codi was being a total shit head and normally I would yell at him to go to his room.  Then yell at him for crying and then just keep yelling.  But last night I looked down at my wrist and tried something different.  I asked him to come over to me and I just talked to him.  I gave him a hug and calmed him down, asked him to please stop what he was doing AND HE DID.  I sat back so proud of myself for trying something new.  The definition of instanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, so DUH why not try something new? 

I've been saying I would run again but I haven't been.  Then Sunday I told myself that Wednesday would be the day, I was going to run again.  I've done this a million times in the last six weeks and found a reason not to run.  But yesterday while sitting at my desk I looked at the bracelet and said, "Jack would run right now Shannon, Jack would keep his word, make a deal with himself and stick to it."  So, I ran and it felt amazing.  I ran three miles.  I wasn't even going to run more then one, was hoping for two and made it to three miles.  I got off the treadmill and I was proud of myself.  Even if the promise was to myself it felt good to keep it.

I've also decided to donate blood.  Rob does it all the time and I've always found reasons why I can't but I've decided now I am going to do it!  I'm going to be a donor again.

I've been eating better too.  Fruits, salads, home cooked food again.  I'm not beating myself up over a cookie here or there but I am trying and that is all that matters.

While catering the other night I walked in to find the other girl surrounded by mounds of dishes.  I was going to walk back out.  I was going to find something else to busy myself with.  I hate dishes.  But that damn bracelet, I looked down, looked back up at the girl and told her to take a break, go eat and I would finish the dishes.  I felt accomplished at the end.  Like I had really pulled my own weight.  I knew Jack would have done that.  I knew he would have been the first to offer to help and look at me I HELPED EVEN THOUGH IT WAS SOMETHING I DIDN'T WANT TO!

I've been hugging my husband a little more lately.  Appreciating him more.  Loving my kids more.  Loving myself more.  I can't believe how much that day changed me but it did.  I hope it continues.  I hope I can keep living my life the way Jack did, the way God did, the way I was meant to…as a good person!

I have things that bug me.  Little ticks.  I'm sure you all have little ticks too.  For instance:

If you touch wet dog food (or cat food) with on of my untensils I will have a panic attack and commence immediete sanitizing and then freak out because in order to clean it the dog food touched my sink AND OH MY GOD THE DOG FOOD IS GOING TO KILL US ALL.
 

There is the toilet paper thing.  You know, the one where the toilet paper must be facing the correct direction or the world explodes.  And yes, if I visit your house I will flip around your toilet paper and make it right.  I will also do this at Walmart, a casino and basically EVERYWHERE, that way the world will safely stay put and not explode!!!!!

And finally!

When cooking the dull side of the foil MUST BE FACING OUT.  Here is the way it works.  If I am cooking ON the foil the dull side faces up.  It is the non stick side.  (Seriously every single one of you shut up, in my head it is non stick and if I spray enough Pam on it anything is non stick).  But, if I am covering something the dull side faces in and the shiny side faces out, that way the dull (nonstick!!!) side is obviously facing the food.  

BECAUSE THE DULL SIDE MUST BE TOUCHING THE FOOD AT ALL TIMES!!!!

And, you have all made my husband walk around like he is the king shit because he won this argument.  And people HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO WIN THE ARGUMENTS EVER!!!!!

YOU ALL FAIL IN A MASSIVE WAY!!!!!

FAIL FAIL FAIL

And don't let me catch you putting the foil upside down or the toilet paper backwards or I will start breaking shit!

Just went in to pee. Wiped stood up and pulled up my undies. Then I realized the toilet paper was stuck in my undies. I had somehow got it stuck, taken two steps forward, pulled it out of the toilet covered in pee and then watched as it dripped pee all over my leg and floor.
HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN????
Seriously? How did I just cover my own leg in pee? What am I twelve? Is this some kind of horrible comedy where a girl walks out with toilet paper in her pants.
I AM ASHAMED OF MYSELF!

Just like the ketchup and Lent we have a new battle brewing in the house.  Again I am not allowed to tell you which side I’m on.  This weeks battle is:

ALUMINUM FOIL!!!

One of us believes that you can just take the foil out of the container and stick it on a pan any ole way.  The other one believes that foil has a non stick side (the dull side) and a sticky side (the shiny side).  

Which of us is right?  Please settle this before one of us wraps the other one in tin foil and barbeques them!

Or before I do this to his office

Please tell my why I'm always the one left with two puking kids while I'm sick at the same time?  Also please tell me why my kids are always sick.  And while your at it please tell me why my dog is hell bent on licking up puke THAT CAN'T TASTE GOOD SPARKY IT JUST CAN'T!!!!!!!

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Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

As you may know my grandpa passed away a year ago this month.  We hadn't spoken for almost two years before he died.  In fact, I never got to say a real goodbye.  Before we had our little fight he and I actually had some pretty funny memories together.  One of my favorite though, was the time he threatened to kill my husband.

If I wasn't so embarrassed by the little emotional temper tantrum I had I would totally cut and paste the actual email into this post, but for now NOT HAPPENING!

Rob and I had gotten in a fight.  A big one.  HUGE. Over what? The toaster.

Yes.  

The toaster, and the cabinets.

I'll let you laugh at me for a minute.

Done now?  Okay lets continue.

I had made toast one night and Rob asked me to please unplug the toaster.  Which, fine but what pissed me off is that he then lectured me about having to pull the damn toaster out from under the cabinet.  This is one of those situations where I turned something small into something big.  I was pissed.  He was going to tell me how to toast!!!  I had to pull it out, plug it in, unplug it and push it back.  I was livid. 

Oh and while I was at it could I please start closing the cabinet doors.

I wanted to close his head in a damn cabinet door.  I blew up.  Stomped around.  Yelled at him.  It was bad.  This followed with not speaking to him for two days.  Finally I did the only mature thing I knew how to do….

I EMAILED HIM.

Yes.  Because grown ups email now rather then talk things out face to face.  Without email I would probably be divorced, fired and without any friends. 

I wrote a very long drawn out letter.  In a Word document, typed, and single spaced it was probably about 4 pages long.  It was bad.  I retold the whole fight, told all of my points (which seriously, I suck), then told him every single other little thing I had been mad about for 5 years.  Then I proudly hit send. 

 

It was kind of like this video.  I sent out a sweet little love letter to my husband.  Only, imagine that paper airplane dividing into three more airplanes and flying off into ALL OF THE WRONG PLACES. 

About an hour later my cousin called me.  I had just sent her a letter meant for Rob.  

Huh?

No, I looked it said it was sent to Rob.  But she got it, she said she realized it wasn't for her so she stopped reading it and deleted it.  I looked again.

TO: ROB

Hmmm.

I didn't understand.  I thought it was a glitch.  Fast forward three days.  Rob and I have made up and I go to send him another email with a joke in it and this happens, 

TO: ROB, (insert auto fill), LISA, GRUMPY

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This couldn't be happening.

My computer had auto filled my TO line.  In all of my anger that day I didn't realize that I had auto filled.  It memorized the last time I emailed Rob, which had also CC'd my cousin and grandpa.

CRAP.

So I did the only thing that made sense.

Duh!

I EMAILED MY GRANDPA.  I asked him if he hadn't already read the email to please delete it.  Explained that it was between Rob and I and just said to skip over it.  

Yeah, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.  He wrote me back:

 

Shannon, I did send your Mom an e-mail and very possibly mentioned telling you that if Rob hurt you I would take him fishing at Pyramid lake and you took it as taking Rob. fishing to have fun. What I meant was he wouldn't come home. I was refering to protecting my family and I did say that I was at the end of my life and spending the rest of my life in prison for protecting any member of my family wouldn't bother me. 

 

 Yes.

He threatened to kill my husband.  

I told Rob about it and we laughed about it all.  I called my grandpa and explained that everything was fine with us.  Again he offered to "take Rob out."

Oy Vey.

It took months for my grandpa to forgive my husband.  The best part though is that it was all my fault.  I mean, I got mad over the toaster, I got mad over the cabinets.  IT WAS ME.  

I'm thankful I still have that email though.  It makes me happy knowing that for a while, when my grandpa and I were talking he loved me enough to kill for me.  Everyone should have someone in their life who loves them that much, and I am so thankful I can go back to my email and have evidence that at one point in time, that man, really truly did LOVE ME THAT MUCH!!!!!  I know there are other people in my life who would do that for me, my husband, my  mom and mostly my dad.

I guess it makes not saying goodbye a little bit easier.  Because, even if we hadn't talked in two years, if he loved me that much once, he had to have still loved me a little when he died right?

Also, I never auto filled another email again!

He's gonna kick me out for sure now!!

My mom has this storage full of shit.  Seriously some of it is junk.  But then some of it is pretty neat.  Every now and then I have to get something out of it.  Every now and then I find something neat.  LIKE THIS SUPER AWESOME FLOOR LENGTH MIRROR.  My philosiphy is that if it is just sitting in storage I don't have to ask permission to take it because if she really wanted it she would DO SOMETHING WITH IT.  So I lugged it out of the storage today, packed it home and THEN called her to inform her I was stealing her mirror.

Now I just need to figure out what I'm going to do with this????

Which I will do as soon as I figure out just what the hell it is.

Also in other news I can't wait to tell you guys what I am getting today. (Hint: NOT AN IPAD2 frown) but…even more rad!

Swistle posted a blog about a fight she was having with her husband.  Not a big money, religious, life threatening fight, but a fight about MATH that resulted in broken things.  

HILARIOUS. 

She asked commenters to tell her some of their, "are we seriously about to divorce over this" fights.  So I am going to give you Rob and I's two most ridiculous fights that turned nuclear and then I want you to comment and tell me your most ridiculous fights that went from 0-30 in seconds.

Fight 1:

I don't know how we got on the topic but once when I was nine months pregnant with Brandon we some how got on the topic of how much I loved my cat.  Since I had only had a cat I couldn't fathom loving anything more then him.  He was the love of my life how could I love this kid I didn't know more then my sweet wittle kitty cat?  (I was pregnant and hormonal).  He was right but I was NOT giving in on this.  I went psychotic.  Screaming, throwing things.  Unplugging his Playstation TWICE.  Hiding his keys and just having a full mental break down.  To this day I find it hilarious that when Codi was born I actually gave my cat away.  I guess I could love something more.

Fight 2:

I had spent all day making ribs.  Marinating, and seasoning and baking forever.  When we sat down to eat he went and got a giant bowl of fish sauce to dip his ribs in.

I LOST MY SHIT.

How in the fuck could he put my ribs in that nasty garbage shit.  Why did I even bother seasoning the if he was just going to cover them in that shit.  It was disrespectful and rude of him to do that.  This fight was crazy.  I was crying, and livid HOW DARE HE cover up all that flavor I had worked to achieve.  This went from a fight over food to a cultural fight. His culture dunked food in stupid nasty shit.  We didn't talk for two days over the fish sauce.  When we finally started talking again he had the nerve to put hot sauce all over something.  I wondered if he could even fucking taste what I made with all of that sauce on it.  Then he covered something in ketchup and I swear I wanted to walk out.

So…condiments.  Condiments are going to end my marriage.

Now tell me….what are your stupid little fights that turn into big huge giant call a divorce lawyer fights????

Lets say I win a lottery. Of course I’ll do the normal stuff, pay off houses, my parents houses, husbands parents houses, pay off my cars, donate a large amount to the animal shelters, SAVE SAVE SAVE, pay my bills for a year, SAVE, build a dream house (with an indoor craft room, a kids play room, an actual man room, each kids own bathroom, and a kitchen to die for)…but come on, if I’m gonna win the lottery lets talk about the stuff I do that no one ever talks about.

Tattoos. Lots and Lots of tattoos.

A trainer who came to my house every single day and made me go on runs.

An in home gym for the trainer to kick my ass with.

Lots and lots of Whole Foods grocery shopping.

And only organic chicken and meats for my boys. A new bed. A really nice one. Double sided. Pillow top on both sides. None of that memory foam crap.

With a bed frame.

4 new pairs of sheets. Two luxurious pairs of Hotel Collection 500 thread count Egyptian cotton and two pairs of super yummy flannel.

A feather bed and feather duvet for my new bed.

And my new sheets would be deep enough to fit over the mattress and feather bed and NOT RIP.

More tattoos.

Codi would get a new queen size bed like Brandon. Both boys would get a bed frame with cute headboards.

We would all have those custom closet organizers.

The house cleaner would come weekly.

I would so have my boobs lifted.

After the trainer worked his magic I would probably have a tummy tuck to get rid of the loose skin by my C-section scar.

Shoes. Lots and lots of shoes.

TATTOOS FOR EVERYONE.

A $3,000.00 Starbucks card.

Pedicures weekly.

An iPad2, and one for each kid.

A new iMac and one for each boy, to go in their bedroom on the new desks they will each have (their bedrooms in the dream house are even bigger then they are now wahoo).

 

**Husband would have his own half to do stuff with that is why I’m not buying him anything.

 

Please tell me in your dream land what would your totally unnecessary frivolous purchases be?