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Thank you to Yahoo! Mail for sponsoring this post about staying connected. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

As you may know my grandpa passed away a year ago this month.  We hadn't spoken for almost two years before he died.  In fact, I never got to say a real goodbye.  Before we had our little fight he and I actually had some pretty funny memories together.  One of my favorite though, was the time he threatened to kill my husband.

If I wasn't so embarrassed by the little emotional temper tantrum I had I would totally cut and paste the actual email into this post, but for now NOT HAPPENING!

Rob and I had gotten in a fight.  A big one.  HUGE. Over what? The toaster.

Yes.  

The toaster, and the cabinets.

I'll let you laugh at me for a minute.

Done now?  Okay lets continue.

I had made toast one night and Rob asked me to please unplug the toaster.  Which, fine but what pissed me off is that he then lectured me about having to pull the damn toaster out from under the cabinet.  This is one of those situations where I turned something small into something big.  I was pissed.  He was going to tell me how to toast!!!  I had to pull it out, plug it in, unplug it and push it back.  I was livid. 

Oh and while I was at it could I please start closing the cabinet doors.

I wanted to close his head in a damn cabinet door.  I blew up.  Stomped around.  Yelled at him.  It was bad.  This followed with not speaking to him for two days.  Finally I did the only mature thing I knew how to do….

I EMAILED HIM.

Yes.  Because grown ups email now rather then talk things out face to face.  Without email I would probably be divorced, fired and without any friends. 

I wrote a very long drawn out letter.  In a Word document, typed, and single spaced it was probably about 4 pages long.  It was bad.  I retold the whole fight, told all of my points (which seriously, I suck), then told him every single other little thing I had been mad about for 5 years.  Then I proudly hit send. 

 

It was kind of like this video.  I sent out a sweet little love letter to my husband.  Only, imagine that paper airplane dividing into three more airplanes and flying off into ALL OF THE WRONG PLACES. 

About an hour later my cousin called me.  I had just sent her a letter meant for Rob.  

Huh?

No, I looked it said it was sent to Rob.  But she got it, she said she realized it wasn't for her so she stopped reading it and deleted it.  I looked again.

TO: ROB

Hmmm.

I didn't understand.  I thought it was a glitch.  Fast forward three days.  Rob and I have made up and I go to send him another email with a joke in it and this happens, 

TO: ROB, (insert auto fill), LISA, GRUMPY

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This couldn't be happening.

My computer had auto filled my TO line.  In all of my anger that day I didn't realize that I had auto filled.  It memorized the last time I emailed Rob, which had also CC'd my cousin and grandpa.

CRAP.

So I did the only thing that made sense.

Duh!

I EMAILED MY GRANDPA.  I asked him if he hadn't already read the email to please delete it.  Explained that it was between Rob and I and just said to skip over it.  

Yeah, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN.  He wrote me back:

 

Shannon, I did send your Mom an e-mail and very possibly mentioned telling you that if Rob hurt you I would take him fishing at Pyramid lake and you took it as taking Rob. fishing to have fun. What I meant was he wouldn't come home. I was refering to protecting my family and I did say that I was at the end of my life and spending the rest of my life in prison for protecting any member of my family wouldn't bother me. 

 

 Yes.

He threatened to kill my husband.  

I told Rob about it and we laughed about it all.  I called my grandpa and explained that everything was fine with us.  Again he offered to "take Rob out."

Oy Vey.

It took months for my grandpa to forgive my husband.  The best part though is that it was all my fault.  I mean, I got mad over the toaster, I got mad over the cabinets.  IT WAS ME.  

I'm thankful I still have that email though.  It makes me happy knowing that for a while, when my grandpa and I were talking he loved me enough to kill for me.  Everyone should have someone in their life who loves them that much, and I am so thankful I can go back to my email and have evidence that at one point in time, that man, really truly did LOVE ME THAT MUCH!!!!!  I know there are other people in my life who would do that for me, my husband, my  mom and mostly my dad.

I guess it makes not saying goodbye a little bit easier.  Because, even if we hadn't talked in two years, if he loved me that much once, he had to have still loved me a little when he died right?

Also, I never auto filled another email again!