Grab plastic container of soup out of fridge

Read directions

1. Remove film from container…OMFG this shit doesn't come off.  I think they crazy glued it on.  Try peeling it off from every single angle.  Give up.  Stab knife into center.  Put finger in to peel off.  Cover finger in soup.  Dammit.

2. Place container on microwave safe plate and cover with paper towel…This is dumb I don't need a plate.  Grab paper towel put container in microwave DUMP HALF OF CONTAINER IN MICROWAVE.

ooooooooooooo.  That is why I needed a plate.  

Fine.  Put a plate under soup.  Use paper towel that was going to cover soup to wipe up giant soup mess.  

Start microwave.

Realize I didn't put a new paper towel over it. 

Grab paper towel open microwave to cover soup.

Discover soup already exploded out of container.

Burn hand taking soup out of microwave.

Lick finger to taste soup..OMFG IT TASTE HORRIBLE

FUCK IT ALL FUCKING SOUP.

For thos of you wondering this is what the container looks like.  It has that plastic covering under the lid that is impossible to get off.  That is why I stabbed the whore with a knife.