My husband got a new car this week.  He got the new car the night before we went to California.  We traded in my car towards his new car and I get back my beloved Yukon.  So around 8pm Wednesday night I was taking every single thing out of my car and cramming it into a bag.  Since it was so late we didn't get a chance to rearrange our cars before going to California.  The next morning we left to California in his new car with NOTHING.  

I was horrified.  We didn't have any tissue. There was no chap stick.  NO CHAP STICK PEOPLE!  There was no sanitizer.  My head was reeling.  My husband didn't even notice. Thank God I had my purse or we could have died on that trip.

That is the difference between men and women.  If I got stranded in my car I could survive for days with my deodorant, brushes, combs, tweezers, clippers, sanitizers, wipes, tissues, snacks etc.  My car is so prepared for a zombie apocalypse.  My husbands car. NOT. AT. ALL. 

We finally got back into town and I took my Yukon to get washed before putting it back together.  That hour was the longest hour of my life.  

Suddenly I text my husband, "I must hurry home I need to file a nail and I have no nail file."

His reply, "Why do you need a nail file in a car?"

Are you freaking kidding me?  I break nails often.  I slam them in the door.  I snap them just thinking about snapping them. Sometimes while driving I just notice one isn't shaped right and I reach in my trusty console, grab my file and repair it at a stop light.  

I replied to him, "I just feel safer and more secure with all my stuff."

He doesn't get it.

Last week on the way to take the boys to school a friend texted asking if I had a Band-Aid.

Uh DUH of course I had a Band-Aid in MY CAR.  Had she asked my husband her poor son would have spent the morning with an exposed skinned knee.

I also had four rocks in my center console, a book of matches, a raunchy pin, expired gum, four variety of sanitizer, three types of chap stick and three lip glosses.  A brush, a comb, a file, nail polish, two checkbooks, seven pens, a notepad, deposit slips to a bank I don't bank at anymore. A spilled container of Tic Tacs, 25 Tic Tacs spread randomly in said console, a necklace, a hair tie, a head band, one glove, a lint roller, three epi pens, a practice epi pen, six Bath and Body work smelly insert refill thingys. A bolt, a lug nut, a set of keys, another set of keys, a key on a rope, a key ring, half a peace sign, facial wipes, a CVS fold up bag. My trunk had seven reusable bags.  Three pairs of gloves, two pairs of kid gloves, a sweat shirt, a work shirt, a rain coat, a jacket, two pairs of shoes, a lunch bag, blanket, towel, socks, a bandana, dirty hoody, baby clothes (whose baby??) an ice pack, an empty bottle, two scarves (yes it was 105 out but WHAT IF…WHAT! IF!).  I also had 14 lego parts, a coat hanger, two aprons, two wine bottle corks, eleven left over menus from various catering jobs, uncountable receipts, an entire box of tissue sans box, seven un-namable kids toys, a hat, nine small packages of tissue, four packages of baby wipes (three were dried out, better buy more) and on and on and on.

Do you know what was in my husbands car?

A phone charger and a gun clip.

Fucking men.  They will never understand.