My body

A few years back I posted this image of my body in this post

After much consideration I think the image should be revised.  I think there should now be containers of cottage cheese in the thigh region to account for all the cellulite. There should be about five layers of stretched out taffy across my stomach where my pregnancy stretch marks reside. While the boobs still sag like pancakes they should be upgraded to some kind of melon stuffed pancakes because I swear they have tripled in size over the last few years.  Also because I'm Basque I feel like their should be two kiwi's where my arms are because I am soooo hairy. (Kiwi's are kind of furry right? Or would that be peaches, because they have fuzz?). This is not sexy.  My big ass melon head really should have a mustache added to it and if we are being honest I could add a couple of those Twizzler licorice ropes to my chin area to symbolize the two giant chin hairs that I never remember to pluck until they are an inch long. I still have the Converse though.  At least some things never change.  Tell me…what would you use to describe your body?

Let's update

* So much going on lately.  Only one person knows ALL of it and she drove all the way from Winnemucca to deal with me this weekend.  God I love that girl.

* I need more tattoos.  I know I'm getting two different scripts on me but I need to know what my next big one is and where it is?

* I'm strongly considering cutting off about 12 inches of hair again.  I am very cute with long hair.  I am very cute with short hair.  I am not very cute when my hair is at that in between half short half long phase.

* I convinced a boy to read 50 Shades of Grey, a boys perspective on the book is hilarious.

* I have bought presents for one person for Christmas.  Technically I bought one thing for each of my kids but it doesn't count as a big present or anything.  I have about five days left to figure this out.  Shit.

* I got new glasses.  I asked the lady at the eye doctor for sexy librarian glasses.  She was old and she did not find me funny.  Needless to say I'm still on a mission for sexy librarian glasses.

* I have so much I wish I could say to all of you but it is not fit for the public so it's all just inside me festering into a giant hot mess.

* My panic attacks have returned full force.  I'm having one as I type this.  It's really annoying.


That is about all for now…or at least all I'm willing to tell you for now.