Last night I dreamt I was on a field trip with my kids.  In the dream I was eating little gummy candies with them.  When I ate my last candy I started thinking, "this one is stale, and it's very chewy and not good at all."  That was the exact moment I woke up and found another fucking ear plug in my mouth.

You guys, this is twice now.  Two times I have pulled my ear plugs out of my ears in my sleep and put them in my damn mouth and chewed on them IN MY SLEEP.

WHY?

While I'm asking why, someone please tell me why it is my dog has suddenly started eating his food by colors.  He has a brown piece and a white piece.  He picks every single white piece out.  He doesn't just pick them out, he picks one piece out and walks over to the carpet and drops it then goes to the bowl gets out another white piece, walks to the carpet and drops it.  He repeats this until he has about 6 pieces then sits there and eats his six pieces and then starts the process all over.  He leaves the brown ones in the bowl until he realizes he's not getting any more food until he finishes his brown pieces.  It is the strangest thing I've ever seen.

My food allergies are getting worse.  Last week as a healthy snack I bought myself some banana chips.  I proudly ate them all week before realizing I'm allergic to plantain which I'm pretty sure means I'm allergic to banana.  Since that wasn't enough fun I thought I would test out the doctors theory that I was allergic to peanuts and soy.  

I ended up in the hospital.

My entire stomach swelled up…see:

 

Just in case you think I'm always that fat, this was me the morning before when the swelling had just started

 

And this shows you the change twelve hours made

Yeah I know, my underwear are mega cute right….oops.

This is two days later…mild swelling

This is three days later…Mild swelling to start the day

And then BAMN I look pregnant again mid day.

Anyway the following week has been similar to that.  I eat something I swell up and my stomach hurts and then it goes away, I eat, swell, pain, lather, rinse, repeat.  It's been a fucking blast.  Not to mention that I can't take anything for the swelling now because I'm getting a new allergy test in May and I can't have any allergy medicine in my system before the test.

In case you all think maybe I'm eating something bad let's discuss what I have been living on:

*Protein shake in the am, that is hypoallergenic, vegan and soy free made from quinoa, with coconut milk, frozen strawberries and blueberries.  All of those are things I've tested negative to allergies for.

*Coffee & sugar free cream.  Both things I'm not allergic too.

*Lunch has been either a Subway sandwich, no mayo, only mustard, cheese and veggies. None of which I'm allergic to or a small salad with balsamic dressing and only lettuce and spinach.  None of that I'm allergic to.  I often eat carrot and celery sticks with hummus.  I've never had a reaction to hummus but after all this shit I'm now being tested for an allergy to sesame seeds. Sigh.

*Snack is another protein shake, an apple, strawberries, or nothing.  I'm allergic to none of those.

*Dinner is quinoa and a roasted veggie.  I only roast my veggies, I don't boil them or microwave them or saute them, I just roast them so they taste amazing and my kids are now addicted to roasted cauliflower and asparagus and broccoli and seriously it's the weirdest thing ever having a five year old request more asparagus or cauliflower.  I'm not allergic to any veggie besides soy and there is no soy in my quinoa or my vegetables.  

*Besides coffee and coconut milk I am only drinking water or carbonated mineral water.  I have had exactly 1.5 soda's in 30 days.  I am not allergic to coffee.  I'm probably allergic to water.  

So I'm going to the doctor with a whole new list of things to be tested for:

Sesame seeds

Sun Flower Seeds

Flax Seeds

Banana

Artichoke

Strawberries (again)

Chickpeas

Coconut

Quinoa

I bought myself an organic, soy free, nut free, gluten free granola last week and chomped away happily on it until the whole hospital thing.  It was full of sunflower and flax seeds.  The only two things the doctor didn't test on the sheet of paper last time.

You can imagine I'm a lot grumpy lately.  Even with all this I'm still dragging my sorry ass to the gym and I'm still being my kids dugout mom in baseball and I've been to work every day.  I'm miserable though.  I'm afraid to eat and that's an issue.  Yesterday I had the protein shake, the coffee and a spinach salad with a roasted sweet potato.  That was all, the entire day.  When I got to the gym I was drained.  I had no fuel and everything was harder.  This is not fun.  The gym has been fun.  Going to the gym with no fuel in my system is not fun.

Hopefully next week we get a real live compete list of allergies and maybe a diagnosis and medicine and treatment. Because y'all I'm working out way too hard to have my stomach swollen up like this every day!