I was back in the hospital Monday night.  This time there was no swelling there was just pain.  Crazy pain.  The kind of pain where you are sure some little demonic animal with sharp teeth is going to claw it's way out of your stomach breaking every rib bone in the process, and you wouldn't even care because at least once it was out the pain would stop.  I managed to make it to the bathroom and shut the door trying to hide from my husband because I knew he was going to try and make me go to the hospital.  I guess something about your wife waking up in the middle of the night half sobbing and half unable to breath because taking a breath causes physical pain that kinda scares a man.  I went into full on ugly cry combined with these weird shaking little noises coming out of me.  It was not pretty.  He forced me to get dressed, called my dad to watch the kids and took me to ER.

Guess what they found.

Nothing!

The ER doctor was actually kind of frustrated because I had warned him that my GI doctor said ER would be able to do nothing but manage the pain.  He kept saying, "don't give up on me maybe I can figure it out."  In the end he couldn't and it bothered him.  He had some good suggestions.  He wants the doctor to look at the possibility that scar tissue from all of my surgeries is somehow crushing or blocking my intestines.  This is actually a pretty interesting thought since I've had issues with scar tissue from my prior surgeries.  At one point before having Brandon the scar tissue had formed around my uterus kind of like a lasso and squished it in half causing a ton of pain and preventing pregnancies.  I've had two C-sections and a hysterectomy along with a gallbladder removal in the last 7 years, scar tissue could actually be a real possibility.  However in order to find that out we would have to do exploratory surgery.  I haven't had a colonoscopy in 13 years, I've only had an endoscopy, so honestly who knows what they could find down there.  

I did manage to throw up every single thing in my stomach, and I totally managed to make it all in one of those tiny little puke bags that they give you.  Then just because my husband was so mean in forcing me to go to the hospital I told him he had to hold onto the bag for the doctors so they could see how much I had thrown up.  I knew that wasn't true, and I know he hates vomit, but I was so frustrated he had dragged me into ER, spent $200.00 all while knowing they could do nothing.  The look on his face when the doctor said he didn't need to hold the bag of puke that whole time was pretty gratifying.  I totally hid my smile under my blanket.

The ER doctor gave me some morphine telling me at least it would make me sleep and I could rest.  He also shot me up with some anti nausea meds.  I didn't sleep.  That always perplexes doctors.  There isn't enough medicine to sedate me for endoscopy's and there isn't enough morphine to actually knock me out.  I was sitting up totally awake and talking to him the entire time.  

Basically, nothing came of it, I'm out $200.00 and we still know nothing.  I have a huge probably very expensive test coming up next week.  To see if I have delayed gastric emptying.  If I do they can treat it.  If I don't the doctors are basically going to give up and try and pain manage the situation.

This is the first time that the pain hasn't gone away the next day.  This happened Monday and it's now Thursday.  It still hurts.  Not pain like the tiny human is clawing out of me, but an annoying pain as if I did 1000 sit ups yesterday that just won't go away.

I'm so over this.  I'm exhausted from worrying about what to eat, and when will it happen again. I'm sick of leaving in the middle of a wedding because I'm going to throw up at the event, I'm sick of being exhausted and to tired to work out to my full extent, or be a 100% parent.  I'm just over it all.  I just want to be normal.