If you've been to a doctor ever in your life you will understand what I'm about to say. Have ever noticed that when you wake up in the morning and weigh yourself and then go to the doctor you suddenly gain AT LEAST ten pounds?
I hate that shit. I hate it a lot. Especially because I'm dealing with genetically high cholesterol, and back issues and my doctors just keep saying I need to exercise and lose weight. Then I go to the doctor talking about how I'm exercising and losing weight and their lying ass sadistic scale ALWAYS says I've gained weight. They doctor always shakes her head at me and talks about my weight, and how I really should start exercising more…blah blah blah she starts to sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown. I patiently explain that dammit I'm working out 3-4 times a week and my scale at home said something different. They always shake their head at me and write some secret shit in their file that I'll never get to see.
Today though. Hooooo boy you guys. Today I made that doctors scale my bitch. I weighed in at home it was 166. I drove to the doctor and got on the scale and started tinkering with it. The nurse came over and said, "oh you got it just right" (No shit lady I do these fancy doctors scales often at the gym now). Then, THEN she said you weigh 166.
I stepped off the scale and casually put my shoes on and asked if she could tell me what I weighed at my last visit in October. The nurse looked down and said, "oh 180 pounds."
THAT'S RIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS. THAT SCALE COULD SUCK MY DICK!
I beat the scale. Not only that but I had a noticeable change. 14 pounds is a good change. In the world of doctors scales fourteen pounds is the holy grail of weight loss.
I felt like breaking out into a chorus of We are the champions and playing the Rocky theme song as I walked out.
Small victories people. Small victories. I finally had concrete doctors evidence and to top it off my blood work came back to show that I'm working out at the level of body builders. I wear some pretty cute shirts to the gym like these:
But I feel like I'm missing a shirt with a giant middle finger that says "SUCK IT" for the next time I go to that doctors office and she tells me I'm not working out hard enough. Tell that to the scale sucker!